(Closed) little bit of a Vent a whole lotta “What do I do??!!!”

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hmmmm….would it be possible to cut the guest list and use someone’s home/backyard to hold the wedding/reception? That way, you won’t have the cost of a venue to worry about AND you can get married on any day you want. 

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d go with the Thursday wedding later in August.  If its close family and friends, they won’t mind that its on a Thursday.  Having your wedding on an “off” day might save you some money with vendors too.  

Post # 7
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Anniebo: To be honest, I wouldn’t do the Thursday.  I would do it in September or July if that’s the choices.  It may be muggy but who cares!  Im having my wedding in July in Michigan…its outside too and the weather is pretty much the same as Ohio.  I just wouldn’t want you to have your wedding on Thursday and have no one show up.  People work, they don’t want to come to a wedding after work, party down and then get up and go back to work on a Friday.  At least on Friday weddings, they have SAturday off.  Thursday would just be a NO for me.  It depends on what you value most.  If your Best man is back at school, cant he make a trip home on a SATURDAY for his best friends wedding?

Post # 8
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

No one’s going to think your are cheap for having a wedding on a Thursday.  If everyone is local, its not a big deal.  I would go with the end of August too- and it might help to kind of ‘start over’ with the ideas for what you want your wedding to be like.  Are there other venues or options that you can investigate that you had ruled out for some reason before?  You still have a lot of time to plan, even if Wedding World says you don’t ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hun, take a deep breath.

#1 – You can’t be frustrated that you new baby brother or sister interfers with your wedding plans. And if you repeat that anywhere outside the bee you will most likely really alienate your family. So – let go of that feeling here and now.

#2 – You probably don’t want to hear this, but it doesn’t really sound like you can afford a wedding right now. Your father isn’t obligated to give you money for the wedding. That’s very nice of him – but he doesn’t have to do that. It sounds like you don’t have your own money to supply the wedding you want. Why not wait a year? I know that isn’t ideal but think of it this way – you’ll have one more year to save, your dad will have one more year to save, AND you’ll have a new baby brother/sister to be there.

 

Post # 10
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

@JrzyGurl:

I agree with everything you said.  Sorry OP – I hope things will be okay!  If you wait a year when you have your own money (and fiance, obvs) then you’ll be able to afford what you really want ๐Ÿ™‚  If you skimp now you may regret it later!

Plus, I kind of get what you’re saying about your Dad’s family – I have a friend who’s neice is the same age as her, which I guess is what your child will be to your new sibling so that’s odd but I will say they are best friends, so that’s nice. 

Post # 12
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

First, I think it is very aware/unselfish of you to not be completely out of shape about your step-mom being due near your first wedding date.  You sound like you’ve accepted that and have moved on without being too overly bitter.  That’s awesome and really commendable.

Second, how local is your family?  If they’re all in one spot, and you don’t want to have a giant party-bash type of wedding, I’d say a Thursday is ok.  I like JamaicaBride’s idea about doing an outdoor tent wedding, but if you decide on something like that, be careful about costs adding up.  We were going to have my wedding at my parents’ house (a former farm with about 190 acres of forest/fields), but by the time we factored in costs for the tents, chairs, tables, china, port-a-potties, etc, it was going to be astronomical. 

Good luck and try to enjoy all of the parts of your new family!

Post # 14
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Anniebo: If that’s what his family wants then guess what? They can pay for it. But if your dad is paying for it, then it’s under his and your control. If you aren’t open to pushing the wedding back then do what you can afford. Here are another few options:

* Sat or Sun brunch wedding: Would you consider this? It’s also cooler in the mornings so you could maybe do this in June or July, so you don’t have to worry about your Stepmom missing out. Also no one has to take off work. And alcohol won’t be totally expected. I’ve seen some VERY cute brunch wedding ideas.

* Back-yard BBQ: If you do this in someones backyard (or maybe a public park) you can have it catered by a nicer place since you don’t need to spend money on a venue rental

* Church reception: If you or your family belongs to a church they might have a reception room you could use.

Good luck!

 

Post # 15
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

If I read right, the only reason that you don’t want to push the wedding back is because the best man is going away to school? Why can’t he come home for a weekend? 3 of our 5 bridal party members are not local, so it is definitely do-able. Pregnancies can be so unpredictable, I would not want to plan the wedding for any time in August and maybe have her going into labor on your wedding day! 

If I were you I would push it back to October. That will give your step mom hopefully 2 whole months to recover and should make it easier for her to attend and for your dad to be there and focused on you and your/your fi’s day. It would also probably open up some more location options, and lets face it– august can be miserable outdoors in Ohio. Early October is beautiful and much more temperate. I bet if you talk to your best man he’d be willing to come home for 1 weekend for your wedding. 

Post # 16
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Anniebo: Sorry I didn’t see your response before I posted my other one. Good for you and your Fiance for waiting until you were 100% sure. I think you can def figure out a way to have a wedding that will make you and your family happy. There are tons of budget brides on here (myself included) that will have great ideas for you.

The topic ‘little bit of a Vent a whole lotta “What do I do??!!!”’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors