- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
My dear boyfriend and I have been friends for well over four years now, and have been dating a few months shy of three. He was one of my best friends well before we ever started dating. We are solid, to say the least. Not without issues, but these are minor in comparison and we combat them with good conversation.
Now I am 26, he is 27. I’m in graduate school, with (hopefully) a little more than a month to go before I’m finally done (as I’m typing on here and not my essay.) That man has stood beside me every single moment that I took on this program, and his dedication to my success is astounding.
Like most guys, he doesn’t really care about a wedding. To him, going down to the courthouse is the same as spending a year and thousands of dollars on a celebration. In the end, we will be together.
A few things came to head a week ago. I was frustrated he didn’t want to get married any sooner, especially considering we are planning to buy a house a year from now. I’m thinking he’s planning for 1-2 years. From all I can tell (or squeezed out of his bear trap like jaw) he’s worried about the finances: house, student loans, etc etc. Now before I get ahead of myself, these are my primary reasons for logically thinking that an engagement within the next 6-12 months would be the perfect time.
- Durr. I love him. I know I want to be with him the rest of my life. Yea, some times may suck royally. But he is also the only person I’ve ever dated that I can say for sure that I’d want to be his partner from this time on. No doubt. We are in it for life.
- The legal side of things. I’m a paranoid person. If something ever happens to one of us, no nurse better stand in my way. I can’t imagine not being able to. On the less dramatic side, he is without health insurance, and I have it. In general, many things would just be easier if we were together.
- By July of this year, I will have graduated my master’s, we will celebrate our 3rd anniversary (not that it really matters I guess), and I will turn 27. This, combined with my present job (good, but temporary) and future living situation (we are living with my family) provide a conflicting notion. On one hand, I am most certainly getting older (shocker, I know) and yet… I’m still in a previous stage of life, not where I feel I should be by now.) However, I figure this might be resolved by the end of school and a new job. Or not.
- We are saving up a ton of money for a new home. Like $20,000. And we’re going to buy a home yo. That’s a major freaking investment. I realize a good amount of people would say it doesn’t matter if we are married, but I’m on the fence.
- I swear to god, if one more person (which would be the 8th this year) gets engaged….. (again, this is superficial but still… blows)
He has said before that he is willing to go get married at the courthouse anytime, especially when I didn’t have health insurance. But I have a hang up about it. To me, it wouldn’t mean the same thing with all my and his (massive) family and friends around to celebrate it. I just can’t.
So, I’ve promised to give him a year. No talking, no drama. Nada. He, of anyone, deserves it. And he’s worth it to me, so I will stick by my promise.
But this sucks.
Are any of you later-20-something ladies in my same boat? I’m sure everyone could give me advice on how to put it out of my head. It would be so much easier that way.