(Closed) Little kids at wedding problems and bigger serious food allergy issues

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
6532 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

How would kids be able to access the food at all? I mean, if it’s a buffet, wouldn’t you and your new husband be served first?

There’s nothing wrong with a line on the wedding website and invite that says “for medical reasons, BrideName and GroomName kindly request that guests refrain from bringing wheat or wheat products to the venue.”

you can also hire someone to work the room and monitor for anyone opening cracker packages, beer, etc. Provide a safe replacement snack like peanuts, apple or kale or corn chips, etc. so that Little Timmy doesn’t scream when his crackers get taken away. This person can also politely usher out any parents whose kids are screaming during the ceremony.

Post # 3
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

There is no polite way to tell your guests that they will need to mind their own children. You will have to do as millions have done before you, and rely on the good sense of another functioning adult.

As for your allergy, generally the wedding party eats first at weddings. I don’t think it would be out of line to have food set aside if you’re still concerned. It’s your wedding and you should be able to eat comfortably.

Post # 5
Member
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

For issue #1 – I think that most adults know that if their child is crying or being disruptive during the ceremony they should take them away to calm down.  That said, some people seem like they were raised in a barn.  Which category do you think your guests fit into?  I think it’s very reasonable to just expect adults to act sensibly without giving them explicit instructions.

For issue #2 – I don’t think writing that it’s a gluten free wedding on your invites will help because I don’t think that people will understand that you are asking them not to bring gluten containing snacks for their children.  However, I dont’ think this will be a problem.  The issue here is cross contamination, right?  There is no reason that children should be getting their hands on food that you eat, right?  So how could they cross contaminate?  

Good luck!   Your gluten allergy sounds really rough, I’m sorry you have to deal with that!

Post # 6
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Are you doing a buffet? Why not do a plated meal, or at least have the kitchen hold back a plate for you to be absolutely sure?

Post # 7
Member
914 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
littlecats :  I’d ask the caterer to have a special plate for you so you don’t have to risk it, or ask your Maid/Matron of Honor or someone to get a plate for you early and keep it safe.

As for kids crying during the ceremony, I don’t know a parent who would actually just sit there with their kid screaming. I think most parents would step out with their kid, without having to be asked. 

I probably wouldn’t reach out to each parent to personally ask them to plan for if their kid starts screaming, because generally they’re already planning for it, without having to be asked. It could come off wrong, I think. 

Post # 9
Member
6532 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
littlecats :  just make the tables taller than toddlers. Most kids have marginally better manners than to go shoving their fingers all over a plate of food if you keep the food out of their easy reach.

Post # 13
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Kid thing: you’ll just have to trust that parents will handle their kids. I’ve been to many weddings with kids and it’s never been a problem. I wouldn’t stress about this. 

Gluten thing: ok, this I can understand the concern. If I read “gluten free” or “gluten allergy” on the invite, I probably would not understand or appreciate the severity of it (especially since it seems to be “trendy” to be gluten free and for most people it’s not actually that big of a deal for them). Do you have a website? If so, I would write something along the lines of you having a sever gluten allergy and any sort of cross contamination could cause serious issues. I would write this in a general notes section and phrase it similar to nut warnings. 

Also, I can totally get that parents might bring extra snacks for their toddlers. How many families with small children are there? Honestly, I would contact them and just have a conversation about your allergy and concerns about cross contamination. Do not say they “can’t” bring snacks, but asking if there are any non gluten snacks that you might be able to provide instead is a good question. Also, if they are aware of the issue, they will hopefully keep an eye on cross contamination. 

Finally, as people have already suggested, you can always ask for a plate of food to be set aside for you. 

Post # 14
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
littlecats :  no worries! I really agree with a PP: you’d have to be raised in a barn to let your child shriek uncontrollably through a ceremony. I’ve never experienced this and made sure to remove my daughter if she so much as squirmed in the last wedding we attended. Hopefully your guests have some shred of common sense

Post # 15
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

First, you don’t necessarily need to invite EVERYONE’S children.  You could do just children related to you.  

The food contamination is easy.  Ask the caterer to set aside special portions to you before things are served.  They should easily be able ot honor this.  

We did not have children at our wedding. Our venue was not child friendly.  The one exception was my husband’s friends’ 3 month old.  He was in a Snugli and super quiet.  His mom said she was worried he made some noise.  I didn’t notice it at all.  

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