(Closed) Little stressed…VENT

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I can understand where both you and your Fiance are coming from. From your perspective, you want to get good deals and do DIY projects – what’s wrong with that? But from his perspective, these seemingly unnecessary details are cutting into your time with him and the kids. Now maybe trying to delegate your tasks for you (or making you delegate them) is not the best approach, but the concern is a valid one. For him, time is money!

When I was planning my wedding, Darling Husband and I had very busy lives. We had limited time to spend together, and although I wanted to do a ton of DIY projects, the reality was, it just wasn’t possible. Did I want to spend $25K on my wedding? No! Would I rather have looked for deals and DIY’d? Definitely. But in order to dedicate time to that, I would have needed to cut down on things like quality time with Fiance, doing my share of the household chores, and so on. If I had told my Fiance, “I want to spend X hours a week DIYing projects for the wedding, do you mind doing most of the cooking and cleaning while I make escort cards?” it wouldn’t really be fair, would it? 

I think you need to sit down with him and get on the same page about the budget. It sounds like you *could* spend more on your wedding, but you would rather spend the time to do all of these projects. Your Fiance, on the other hand, would rather spend more money but less time. I think this is a perfect opportunity to compromise – just meet somewhere in the middle! Decide with him ahead of time how much time you would like to spend on DIY projects, and how that time will fit into your schedule. Figure out what few aspects of the wedding are important for you to DIY, and where can you just buy ready-made. Good luck! 

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