Post # 1
I know there were some big turning points, for me, but there was also a number of little things. We were friends in our twenties reconnecting after twentysome years. When we reconnected I was swooning over the uber-romantic weepy girlyfilm Bright Star, and he watched it, independently of me, and discussed it with me, as he’d discuss any film (and liked it!). He called regularly, always when he said he’d call. I loved that. Then he asked about current fiction by women writers and went and ordered my recommendations and loved them. And when I asked him to write me a letter, he did, a beautiful one.
What were some of the details you noticed in his actions that said, this is the one?
Post # 3
Good question. I think there are so many little things…
When I was going through a lot of heartache related to a family issue, he was an amazing confidant, listener, and supporter.
I love seeing his emotion come through if we watch something sad on the news, or hear something sad…- he is extremely empathetic and cares deeply for others.
When we lived apart for 9 months he spent hours and hours making me mixed CDs with homemade photoshoped booklets, with romantic letters attached…very sweet….
I also liked hearing his criticism of fathers who never help with their children…that was a good sign!
I think essentially what really lets me know Fiance is a keeper is the strong foundation of friendship that we’ve developed over the years.
Post # 4
There were two specific instances…
* He is severely allergic to cats but when he asked me to move in he included my cat in the invitation. 😉
* When my father passed away. He was hands down my rock and was an amazing source of comfort to me. We hadn’t been together for very long, as a matter of fact our one year of dating was on the day of my father’s funeral.
Post # 5
He was the funniest person I’ve ever talked to, and he constantly made me laugh. I thought “I could deal with a lifetime of laughter…”
Post # 6
When we met, I was in a relationship that was going downhill, and even though he was interested in me, he was giving me advice for fixing the relationship even though I was pretty much done with it.
When away on travel, he called everyday to say goodnight.
He opened doors for me and did all kinds of things around the house/car to make my life easier.
His house was always clean and organized.
So many more things; but let’s just say that pretty early in our relationship I knew I wanted to spend my life with him.
Post # 7
There were a lot of little things. I usually wear contacts, but have glasses, and am very self concious in them. He always (very sincerely) reassured me that he loved them, and wished I would wear them more often. He would always be there for me. He would bring my favorite things from Tim Hortons when I was having a bad day.
Post # 8
Books. He loves them as much as I do. We were at a castle once in a small study with a bookroom that hadn’t been used in a century and he pulled me over to this small cupboard and said, “Do you smell that?” I said, “Yea, books!”. He smiled and said, “Yea, that’s awesome!” …. How could I not fall in love?
He truly loves music. Not superficially, but in a “quiet, this part is amazing…..isn’t that awesome how they blah blah blah.” lol He know the history, musicians, entrances, and all sorts of crazy stuff about his favorites.
He remembers what I say. Once he bought me an old movie I’d once mentioned in passing that I loved because he saw it on a rack somewhere. He bought concert tickets to a band I once mentioned probably puts on a fun show.
He likes to play games and isn’t a sore loser (though I am sometimes).
He knows how to be quiet. He doesn’t have to fill every single bit of silence with gabbing.
Post # 9
There are so many little things. He is amazing father to our son. He buys me roses on his way home for no reason, or a new book 🙂 He also will never turn his back on a fight…he wants to talk it out right then and there..and I love that, and him!
Post # 10
I like this thread! It sounds like you all have definitely found “winners!” 🙂
I went through the hardest times in my life while being “just friends” with my Darling Husband: the loss of both my grandparents, a murder in my family, my sisters disowning the entire family, etc. He was there and more supportive than ANYONE in my life, which is what first made me see him in a different light as more than just a friend…
But that’s pretty big stuff. Little things? The way he can talk to anyone and treat someone from any walk of life with respect, his willingness to help literally anyone, his sense of humor (I’m always laughing with him!!), and his hard work ethic and tendency to just kick in gear rather than blame others for his problems.
Post # 11
@kala_way: Fiance is also that way about music, which I love, since I’m a music lover too! 🙂
Post # 12
These are all lovely – keep ’em coming.
Evie19 I’d certainly fall for homemade photoshop booklets and of course mmmmmlettersmmmmmmmmm
sarahd07 – the cat story is amazing!
KatyElle a close friend who married long before me (now my MOH) and would often advise me on men, said that she knew very quickly her man was the one because after a first date she thought “I could imagine spending the rest of my life with company like that. I always kept that with me and it clicked when my fella came into my life
mommytobee neat as well as a gentleman – oh my, we *are* spoiled! (and yes, calling often is SO important!)
nutMeg13 He can clearly see the beautiful real you! Def, keeper!
abnorris Swoon-thunk – a man who knows that between roses and books, it isn’t always the roses which win!
@brideatthebeach, what is it about enormous family tragedies that seem to beget even more of them! So lovely you had someone to shoulder you through
@kala_way – Oh my! what a story! I’m with you on the books thing. That’d be pretty much all she wrote for me too!
Post # 13
Wow, there’s a lot of reasons!
He is an amazing listener and gives great advice. I’ve gone through some tough things, and he has always been there for me. He is very non-judgmental.
He is big into family, which is very important to me. He values family, yet he still establishes boundaries so we have our privacy and our time.
He has a big heart. He helps people out, and he loves kids.
We have a lot of the same common interests, yet enough different to keep things interesting.
He is a stable person. He is a planner (which, sometimes that can get frustrating, but overall, it is wonderful) and he thinks through things carefully.
Post # 14
Love positive threads!
There are so many little things (much of the things that the other bees already mentioned) but I think my favorite thing is that every single morning, he gets out of bed before me, makes me a cup of my mocha coffee and then comes and wakes me up.
Mocha coffee = coffee, a packet of diet hot chocolate and creamer. I dont think I can live with out it. LOL
Also, He is always thinking of me. Example, we usually go grocery shopping together. When we do, we buy his fave lunch meat, fave cheese, fave veggies, etc. But whenever he has to go without me, he always comes home with my favorites – not his. I know that sounds silly but I think its super cute!
Post # 15
Most of mine are little things because that’s what I appreciate the most. 🙂 When we first started dating, he got my number and called me THAT DAY. No games, no waiting and all that crap. Then, he called every day after that, more than once.
We have the same interests in music and TV shows and all of those little things that REALLY bug me if I don’t like them (like rap music – no offense to anyone).
He said he loved me on the 3rd day we knew each other. It was like he just knew.
He laughs at my terribly cynical and sarcastic jokes.
He is the opposite of me in many ways, but I think that’s great. For my negative personality traits, he has a positive one and vice versa so we try to learn from each other.
Post # 16
@KatyElle: So sweet =)
My Fiance remembers things I like and surprises me with them later, he kisses me unexpectedly in public, he doesn’t let go when I need a hug, he lets me wake him up when I have bad dreams, he loves my cooking, he took up mountain biking and backpacking to spend more time with me, he always listens, he’s been my best friend since I was 15 and he’s never wavered in strength of character or morals since then.