- 2 years ago
- Wedding: City, State
Imagine my surprise, Bees. I had forgotten my log in at one of our banks. I finally got that restored because I. Needed to assess a few things. So, just picture it, I open our account page after an extended abscence only to be greeted with a savings account balance that is nearly $4000 short! WTAF?
I immediately confronted Dh. His reaction was totally effin predictable and I can’t stand it. His first reaction was to push the responsibility off of him and onto me. It’s a reflex.
I thought you were monitoring the accounts.
WTAF? (1) he knew I didn’t have my login, and (2), What the hell difference would that make? “Oh yeah, I noticed we were down about four grand, no big”.
Ok, that didn’t fly. On to the next attempt, after arguing with me for a few minutes over his nonsensical theory that I knew about the raid all along.
I’ve been trying to put money back in.
How much? He has no idea. Intent is big with this guy. He can’t grasp that if I run you over with my car accidentally or intentionally, you’ll be equally as dead.
Cue the litany of outrageous expenses with which the poor man is burdened (same ones we’ve had for years). He clearly had NO CHOICE but to drain our savings account.
Then it was my fault again because my healthy groceries are soooooo expensive.
All of the transactions were transfers to checking. Only a few he explained actually made any sense, ie insurance, etc. But, why does that have to come out of savings?
The rest were transfers for $250-500 at a time.
He’s not involved in any extracurricular activities. However, I have been suspicious for some time about early signs of dementia. He has a referral to a neurologist, but they can’t get him in until April.
The killer here is not just the money. I’ll be able to replace that. It was the deceit. That’s what I can’t handle. I don’t know when or if I will stop being angry.
He still swears he thought I had access. Dh thinks, he assumes, he figures. And he is always wrong. His unbroken record remains intact. The trouble is, he will act as if his beliefs are true.
More than once, I have recommended that he do less assuming and more asking.
So after all of that sturm und drang, what did Dh take away from this whole ugly episode?
We have to start cutting back on our spending.