Post # 1
I am looking for some stories from other bees about living apart from their SO.
(I am a waiting bee 😛 ) I will be moving to Toronto for school to begin in April 2016. My bf of 2.5 years is currently out of work and is on the hunt for a new job. The thing is, he is looking for work here in Alberta, Canada. He believes that if he moves with me to Toronto and gets a job there, that after 2 years when I finish School and we move back to Alberta, that he is going to have to start all over again as far as his career goes. I really do understand where he is coming from and I think it would be unfair to ask him to comprimise his career goals just to be next to me while I go to school. But, I am having a hard time with the idea of only seeing eachother every couple of weekends. I guess my fear about this is that with spending nearly all of our time apart, that we may grow apart. I feel kind of discouraged about the whole things because it seems like all of the possible paths we can take, involve us living apart for the 2 years I will be in school. We have long term plans for a future together but like I said, it’s just a tough thought to spend most of 2 years apart. (I know in the long run 2 years isn’t that long, but in the moment it feels like an eternity!)
Has any one had a similar experience? How did it go? Did you guys make it through the time apart?
Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences 🙂
Post # 2
I’ve never been in this experience, but best wishes to you! I bet if you keep yourself busy, the time will fly by. 🙂
Post # 3
I did this with my ex for over 3 years. It actually helped us with communication because when you only see each other every month or so you have to maintain all lines of communication to sustain the relationship. We ended up breaking up for entirely different reasons (we always communicated pretty well), but it worked for us during our relationship. I think it also helps a relationship to mature. I am of the opinion that individual independence is necessary in any healthy relationship. You need a life outside your SO. People who say they “can’t live” without their SO make me raise my eyebrows because that tells me that they don’t have a life besides that other person. Don’t get me wrong, I would miss my fiance if we had to do an LDR for a stint, but I also know I would be 100% ok because I have a life outside of him.
I will also say…I don’t think it’s feasible (or healthy) to see each other every couple weeks when he’s in Alberta and you’re in Toronto. That’s a pretty considerable distance and that would mean a heck of a lot of traveling (by plane I assume) on both your parts…not to mention an insane amount of money. It’s easy now to say “oh we’ll see each other every other weekend” but when you really get into your program and him in his job, I really don’t think you WANT to do that. In my opinion it would almost become mundane. Every other month would be a better bet. That makes it much more feasible and that would make it that much more meaningful when you do see each other.
Post # 4
We did this for 9 months but manged to see each other once a month. It was hard but there wasn’t a worry of growing apart. We emailed and texted everyday and tried to skype every other day if possible.
Two years is a god amount of time for him to find a job near you and transfer after you graduate. It wouldn’t mean his career would start over, just a new job search. Maybe it is different in his field though
Post # 5
My Fiance were long distance for about 2.5 years and during summers. Sometimes we went as long as 6 mo without seeing each other. It was the best thing that could have happened. We learned to communicate better, we grew individually while our relationship grew as well, and we learned that we are definitely right for each other because we didnt grow apart in that time. For me it wasn’t really that hard. There are lots of good things to being in an LDR. Lots of time for your friends and yourself, you don’t have to shave your legs as often, no pressure to wear uncomfortable underwear, seeing each other after a long time is more exciting, etc. so always keep the good things in mind no matter how silly they are. Set a schedule for when you’ll talk on the phone. Write letters and send packages. LDR isn’t as bad as it sounds, and having an end date in sight will make it even easier.
Post # 6
Almost out first entire year was long distance. We didn’t mean for it to be… But it happened. Our first date was on a Friday, he had the interview on the following Monday and be had a new zip code on that Wednesday. Our first date went REALLY well Lol. We did long distance for almost a year and then moved half way in between for both of us. I have a 45 minute commute and he has a 35 minute commute in the opposite direction. It is nuts, but we’ve made it work for almost a year now! It CAN be done. 🙂
Post # 7
My fiancé and I have been doing long distance for a really long time due to school and work, and we are as strong as we’ve ever been. We’re about 6.5 hours apart and we see each other at least once a month. It sucks, but it’s given us both a chance to grow and learn a lot about ourselves. We communicate so well and have even managed to get closer over the years, never grow apart.
I work in the entertainment industry and long distance is pretty common. I have seen relationships soar and crash and burn. It all depends on how much you two are willing to put into the commitment to make sure it stays strong!
Post # 8
Fiance and I were separated by plane rides for over 3 years. We made it just fine. Lots of skyping and online monopoly!
Post # 9
thank you all for sharing! Hearing of other experiences makes me feel better about this.
Thank you for your kind words!
I think you’re probably right about the cost of bi-monthly visits, and it becoming a bit mundane, thanks for the insight!
That’s true, Hopefully while we’re apart we can get excited about where we want to live back here in Alberta and work towards it!
I really like the idea of sending packages! 🙂
I’m happy to hear you sucess story!
That’s very true as well, I think I need to calm down an stop letting it consume my mind! I need to know that if it is meant to be, it will be!
Playing online games together, that’s brilliant, really! Thank you for the idea!
Post # 10
I’m about to try it out for two years, I’ll let you know how it goes haha. I live in Toronto and Fiance is moving to the US for a two year program as well. We plan on seeing each other every other weekend (by plane) because financially we can afford to do so but it will be hard nonetheless.
Post # 11
My best friend started dating a guy who lived 9 hours away. They somehow did long distance for 2 years, with minimal visits because travel within Canada is EXPENSIVE.. And they’re still together and married. If you want to make it work, it works.. Its hard but, doable!
(We were long distance but only a few hours, and for a short period of time.. Again, it was tough but it worked because we made it work. We saw each other about twice per month and talked everyday.)
Post # 12
I wish you the best of luck! Hopefully when my SO is able to land a job, we will be able to afford visits as much as possible as well!
thank you for sharing with me, I enjoy reading succesful stories. I work away from home, I am currently an industrial medic and often/sometimes work away for 3 week periods! It sucks but we also speak everyday during these work stints. I suppose if we can do the 3 week periods, 4 weeks shouldnt be too much worse. It’s just usually after my 3 week stint I get a decent ammount of days off before being shipped out again lol. Whereas while I live in Toronto it will be maybe a weekend a month together, I’m hoping we can make it more though!
Post # 13
what entertainment industry are you in.
Post # 14
Even if you can afford it, I feel like someone traveling every other weekend would get old REALLY fast. You spend a few hours on a plane each way, plus obviously security, customs, etc…to spend less than 48 hours together. Don’t get me wrong, I understand what it’s like to be in a LDR and you are chomping at the bit to see them again, but I feel like the hassle would take away from it. I reiterate what I said above, I think having independent lives is incredibly important. If you’re hopping on a plane every other weekend, I personally feel that it would almost take away from the experiences he has in his program and to enjoy his two years in the States. I dunno. I guess it doesn’t even really give you time to miss the other person if that makes sense.
Then again I’m suuuuuper independent.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2015 - The Vineyard and Winery at Lost Creek, VA
my Fiance and I are both in the military and while I was stationed in Germany he was in texas. We have three deployments between us and are finally living together in DC. It’s hard and I’m not going to say it doesn’t suck and test your relationship. But you learn about the effort you’re willing to make. And you learn to really make the most of the time you do have. It won’t be the last time my Fiance and I will be separated and I’m dreading it but it can be done. As long as you make the morning phone calls and don’t go to bed without saying goodnight. Use Skype and FaceTime and whatever you have available