(Closed) Living Apart From Your SO

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve never been in this experience, but best wishes to you! I bet if you keep yourself busy, the time will fly by. πŸ™‚

Post # 3
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I did this with my ex for over 3 years.  It actually helped us with communication because when you only see each other every month or so you have to maintain all lines of communication to sustain the relationship.  We ended up breaking up for entirely different reasons (we always communicated pretty well), but it worked for us during our relationship.  I think it also helps a relationship to mature.  I am of the opinion that individual independence is necessary in any healthy relationship.  You need a life outside your SO.  People who say they “can’t live” without their SO make me raise my eyebrows because that tells me that they don’t have a life besides that other person.  Don’t get me wrong, I would miss my fiance if we had to do an LDR for a stint, but I also know I would be 100% ok because I have a life outside of him.

I will also say…I don’t think it’s feasible (or healthy) to see each other every couple weeks when he’s in Alberta and you’re in Toronto.  That’s a pretty considerable distance and that would mean a heck of a lot of traveling (by plane I assume) on both your parts…not to mention an insane amount of money.  It’s easy now to say “oh we’ll see each other every other weekend” but when you really get into your program and him in his job, I really don’t think you WANT to do that.  In my opinion it would almost become mundane.  Every other month would be a better bet.  That makes it much more feasible and that would make it that much more meaningful when you do see each other.

Post # 4
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We did this for 9 months but manged to see each other once a month. It was hard but there wasn’t a worry of growing apart. We emailed and texted everyday and tried to skype every other day if possible. 

Two years is a god amount of time for him to find a job near you and transfer after you graduate. It wouldn’t mean his career would start over, just a new job search. Maybe it is different in his field though 

Post # 5
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee

My Fiance were long distance for about 2.5 years and during summers. Sometimes we went as long as 6 mo without seeing each other. It was the best thing that could have happened. We learned to communicate better, we grew individually while our relationship grew as well, and we learned that we are definitely right for each other because we didnt grow apart in that time. For me it wasn’t really that hard. There are lots of good things to being in an LDR. Lots of time for your friends and yourself, you don’t have to shave your legs as often, no pressure to wear uncomfortable underwear, seeing each other after a long time is more exciting, etc. so always keep the good things in mind no matter how silly they are. Set a schedule for when you’ll talk on the phone. Write letters and send packages. LDR isn’t as bad as it sounds, and having an end date in sight will make it even easier. 

Post # 6
Member
834 posts
Busy bee

Almost out first entire year was long distance. We didn’t mean for it to be… But it happened. Our first date was on a Friday, he had the interview on the following Monday and be had a new zip code on that Wednesday. Our first date went REALLY well Lol. We did long distance for almost a year and then moved half way in between for both of us. I have a 45 minute commute and he has a 35 minute commute in the opposite direction. It is nuts, but we’ve made it work for almost a year now! It CAN be  done. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 7
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2016

My fiancé and I have been doing long distance for a really long time due to school and work, and we are as strong as we’ve ever been. We’re about 6.5 hours apart and we see each other at least once a month. It sucks, but it’s given us both a chance to grow and learn a lot about ourselves. We communicate so well and have even managed to get closer over the years, never grow apart.

I work in the entertainment industry and long distance is pretty common. I have seen relationships soar and crash and burn. It all depends on how much you two are willing to put into the commitment to make sure it stays strong!

Post # 8
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance and I were separated by plane rides for over 3 years.  We made it just fine.   Lots of skyping and online monopoly!

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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Apophylite:  I’m about to try it out for two years, I’ll let you know how it goes haha. I live in Toronto and Fiance is moving to the US for a two year program as well. We plan on seeing each other every other weekend (by plane) because financially we can afford to do so but it will be hard nonetheless.

Post # 11
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My best friend started dating a guy who lived 9 hours away. They somehow did long distance for 2 years, with minimal visits because travel within Canada is EXPENSIVE.. And they’re still together and married. If you want to make it work, it works.. Its hard but, doable!

(We were long distance but only a few hours, and for a short period of time.. Again, it was tough but it worked because we made it work. We saw each other about twice per month and talked everyday.)

Post # 13
Member
965 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
rachelandkurtis:  what entertainment industry are you in. 

Post # 14
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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countlessfreckles:  Even if you can afford it, I feel like someone traveling every other weekend would get old REALLY fast.  You spend a few hours on a plane each way, plus obviously security, customs, etc…to spend less than 48 hours together.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand what it’s like to be in a LDR and you are chomping at the bit to see them again, but I feel like the hassle would take away from it.  I reiterate what I said above, I think having independent lives is incredibly important.  If you’re hopping on a plane every other weekend, I personally feel that it would almost take away from the experiences he has in his program and to enjoy his two years in the States.  I dunno.  I guess it doesn’t even really give you time to miss the other person if that makes sense.

Then again I’m suuuuuper independent.

Post # 15
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - The Vineyard and Winery at Lost Creek, VA

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Apophylite:  my Fiance and I are both in the military and while I was stationed in Germany he was in texas. We have three deployments between us and are finally living together in DC.  It’s hard and I’m not going to say it doesn’t suck and test your relationship. But you learn about the effort you’re willing to make. And you learn to really make the most of the time you do have.  It won’t be the last time my Fiance and I will be separated and I’m dreading it but it can be done. As long as you make the morning phone calls and don’t go to bed without saying goodnight.  Use Skype and FaceTime and whatever you have available

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