(Closed) Living Arrangements with SO?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Are you/would you consider the following living arrangements with SO?

    Rent an apartment

    Buy a home

    Live seperately

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1047 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Without engagement, I’d only rent. But if you were trying to find a place, I’d maybe bring up the issue of buying and say you’d only want to do that if engaged/married. It’d be a good way to have a marriage talk if you haven’t already.

    Post # 18
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My SO and I live sperately, approx 45 mins – 1 hr away from each other. We have been looking at houses, but I would like to get engaged, and esentially married first before we make the purchase. We’re having a difficult time compromising on an area to genuinely do a search for a house as he wants to be near his family/work, and I mine. Also the price of houses between the 2 areas is, astronomically different!

    Post # 19
    Member
    252 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Fiance spent the night a lot when he got back from deployment 2 1/2 years ago, and eventually started paying rent when he basically moved in with my roommates and I. We are renting an 2 bedroom apartment together now, houses are overpriced where we are and there is no point to purchasing a home in our area because we plan on moving in the next year or so. We will probably still rent to save some money (depending on the area). But Fiance is talking of reenlisting as active duty in January and if that happens we won’t really get to settle down for a while.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would and we have considered buying a home, but currently we are renting together. Unless it is a really excellent opportunity I don’t think I would buy yet, there are so many costs associated with marriage/engagements that I would rather have that all squared away first.

    Post # 21
    Member
    4044 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We bought a house together so wecould get the tax credit a few years back. Not married yet (though everyone assumes that since we have a house together.) in your case I would look at the financial impact of buying a condo- are there fees per month? Closing costs? Will you be able to sell when you want to buy a forever home?

    Post # 22
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    “We” purchased a home together about 2 years before we got engaged…we both knew that we would be getting married in the future, and didn’t want to keep paying rent.  When i say “we” purchased the home together…it’s only my name on all of the paperwork (the deed, the mortgage, etc), however, we treat it as though we own it together – we split costs for everything.  Once we are married we will put both of our names onto everything, even if that means having to refinance or something.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    For me, living separately. Financially it makes sense to buy together since it’s cheaper, but living with my SO is not a financial decision. I lived with an ex before and found it really difficult to leave since our lives were so tied. It took me an extra year to get my life together and become independant enough that I was confident to go. I promised myself that this would never happen again. With DH, we lived separately until engaged, even if we both thought that it was expensive – living with no commitment has a price that is worth it. But, to each their own – it works for some people, good for them. Me, I had a bad experience and made sure I wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes.

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    1331 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    DH and I chose not to live together until right before the wedding, but we did consider it. We definitely would have rented. Even if it’s cheaper, we just wouldn’t have felt comfortable buying a house together until we were married.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1853 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Fiance and I started renting an apartment together when we were engaged, and then we made an offer on it to own it as a condo. We have a prenup/written agreement which basically states that in the event of a relationship downfall, one of the following happens: I move and pay half; He moves and pays half; if we can’t agree on who gets the condo- we sell and split profits.

     

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    1061 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    DH and I didn’t move in together until we were engaged, so I am probably not the right person to ask.  I don’t think I would buy with someone until we were engaged though.

    Post # 27
    Member
    747 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My fiance and I have rented a townhome since early 2010. We’re planning on trying to purchase a house in the next few years or so since we’d like to have a child but want to be sure to have enough space for one (or more…twins run in his family). 🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    1061 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    OK, I just thought about this more.  I might buy if we had a legal agreement signed as to what would happen upon dissolution of the relationship and if I could afford to keep the property on my own if we split.

    Post # 29
    Member
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Fiance and I lived together in an apartment for 2 years. I guess we were thinking that on the off chance we couldn’t live together/be together, the best way to find that out was through a temporary living arrangement. Then, we bought a house where we live now and we will be there for a total of 2 years before we actually get married. Technically I was the buyer, and my name only is on all the paperwork, but we split everything 50/50. It’s OUR house. When we get married next year, we’ll add his name to the paperwork. It works for us.

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee

    SO and i own a home together.  Technically it is in his name as he paid the down payment.  But we have a legal agreement stating i own half minus his down payment as i make half the mortgage payments.  IF we were to break up,  the property would probably sold and profit split. 

    Its great.  We have protected ourselves enough that if we were to break up there would not be fights regarding money.  We have legal documents stating what would happen.  And I was the one that made the lawyer draw up the agreements.  I dont want either person trying to screw the other over. 

    Post # 31
    Member
    2724 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    DH bought a house before we were engaged, but while we were together, and I moved in. I was not on the mortgage (I couldn’t be, I was unemployed at the time). I will say when I realized if he didn’t propose and we broke up I would have no where to go it was a bit scary. We had been seriously talking about marriage but it took 9 months after moving in before he proposed. It was a little agonoizing. Obviously, it worked out but I do not recommend it to anyone based on my experience and the feelings it brought out.

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