MemberI’ve got a major dilemma ladies. My Fiance wants me to move into his parents house that they currently own. It’s a 2 family, with 2 apartments, with an elderly aunt who lives in one of the apts too. I live in my own 2br prewar co-op which is nice if I do say so myself. I’m not willing to move there
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MemberThis is just a continuation of my post…sorry. I refuse to move there. That is what the kitchen currently looks like in his apt! The refrigerator has been broke since March 2010, he still has not got it replaced.
He keeps saying that he’ll inherit the house anyway, but that’s not a valid reason for me to live there. Plus, you have the aunt (who has 4 adult children who live elsewhere) who has hypoglycemic episodes and my Fiance is always the one who finds her on the floor half naked.
Our wedding is in July, and I’m not willing to give up my place to move there. What’s your opinion? Thanks.
MemberWhy doesn’t he move in with you? Does he plan to fix up the house before you guys move in? I wouldn’t move in unless that kitchen was rehabbed lol but that’s just my opinion! The Aunt will be living with you or in a total seperate apt.?
MemberWould you have free rent or cheaper rent? If so, it may be good if you’re looking into saving up to buy your own house. However, its best to live aways from your family if you’re in an early marriage. If you’re close to the family, it can be great, but it may be awkward being around family all the time, especially if you want alone time & they come over often. I mean, living next door to someone makes you tend to visit much more often. Or is it just the aunt living there? I read it thinking his parents are in one of the apartments…
MemberI thank you for your replies…maybe I’m crazy.
His excuse for not moving in is that ‘it’s your place” That’s baloney, he has the keys to my house and he can come and go as he pleases. I have more than enough room.
The aunt lives in apt downstairs and the parents live in another house about 20 minutes away.
You need to see the rest of the apt, the kitchen looks better than it did in those pics, but it’s obviously too damn small! I would totally rehab it..but it’s not my house..ya know what I mean?
The rent would definitely not be free, he’s currently paying $900 plus utilities. He essentially went from his parents house, to this current house (which was originally his grandmother’s)
MemberLiving in a family owned house has its ups & downs. If things broke, technically the landlord is responsible to fix it. So his parents would have to get repairs done, which if they’re on top of it, that’s awesome! However, if they’re not, that can get ugly & resentful.
Is your rent cheaper or more expensive than his? Either way, it cuts your rent down because you only pay 1 rent instead of 2.
I’ve heard that the “your place” is because you’ve lived there, he doesn’t feel like its his home but he just lives there with you instead of you living there together. I know it makes no sense, yet I completely understand it. Maybe if you offer that he could help redecorate he would feel like your place would be more like home?
As far as space goes, is his house too small or is it just the kitchen? Which house has more room? Closer to work places?
MemberWell his parents are kinda old and they have been promising to get a dryer…there isn’t one in the house. My maintenance is $570 electric and gas included. I’ve told him that he can decorate to his heart’s content. His apt is too small and there is only 4 cabinets in the kitchen! It’s crazy! I bought some glasses for his cabinets the other day and they didn’t fit..standing up! Oy! Where would I put my things? You know?
My place definitely has more room. I work about 20 minutes away from my place and his job is about 10 minutes away from his place, so it’s not a big difference.
MemberYou guys need to compromise together, but my vote would be your place. You can say right back that his place is his place (I’m not saying to argue, but to make the point that either way one of you is moving into the other’s house).
How long have they been promising the dryer? If its been months, & they don’t follow thru, than thats something to be wary of. Sometimes it CAN work to your advantage if you want to buy something & they agree to it, you can take it out of rent. But that’s only if they agree to it. My old landlord promised me the cabinet door within a month of us moving in. I lived there almost 3 years & never got it back. If he was my relative, oh I would be so resentful of that while living there. I mean, 3 years our kitchen had 1 missing cabinet door the entire time I lived there!! However, when our dishwasher broke he replaced it the next day with a brand new one & I thought he was awesome. This may just be a side thing, but it can be tricky to have parents as landlords, especially inlaws.
It looks like your place is cheaper & bigger. Moreso the more space is going to be important. You are going to be combining everything you own & if you can’t fit it, you’re gonna have to either store it or sell it. Usually a bigger place is better & it sounds like its in better condition & better upkeep.
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