- 7 years ago
Hi bees, I’m a long time lurker now coming to you with a problem, and looking for advice. I am not engaged yet, but plan to be next year as a college senior (ring by spring, anyone?). My school doesn’t allow students to live off campus until they are seniors, so next year I am moving off campus, and so is my boyfriend who goes to a neighboring college in the same city (across the street pretty much). We both come from conservative families, and I personally hold the belief that two people shouldn’t live together before they’re at least engaged or planning to be married or engaged, so moving in together wasn’t ever an option for me personally, and definitely not for my parents who support me financially still. I just think it would be kinda weird to live down the hall from my guy.
Well, I found the perfect apartment building that’s close to my school. It’s in an okay neighborhood, and the rent is low. Although it’s fairly far away from my boyfriend’s school (as in, a >30 min walk on a good day, and winters here are brutal) he had originally wanted to live there with me. Not in the same apartment room, but in the same building. He would have to drive every day to class, whereas I could bike or walk. I told him that this isn’t a really good idea, that it will kill the “my place” and “your place” aspect we had been going for, my parents would KILL me if they found out, and honestly, we’d probably be in one person’s apartment all the time which doesn’t appeal to me as we’re not engaged yet.
He seemed somewhat disappointed in my reasoning, as he wanted to live with me, but agreed it was for the best and found his own apartment building. It’s a complex that is 99% upperclassmen from his school (big football/party school) but he figured in a studio it wouldn’t be that bad, so he put a deposit down, paid the first month’s rent, and is planning to move in next fall. Well, tonight he found reviews for the apartments he’s living in… they’re abysmal. Constant noise, stolen stuff, tailgating starting at the crack of dawn all of fall semester, etc. He told me he’d just call the cops if he had any problems, which I think is good, but the cops can’t come every Thursday-Saturday night and order everyone to be quiet. He emailed his landlord asking candidly what the noise and party situation is, and hinted at the fact that he might break his lease if it’s too much for him to handle.
FYI… I had the idea to move off campus first, and I had researched and “found” this apartment long before my boyfriend had considered living off campus. I know I can’t really call dibs on an apartment, but it’s just more convenient for my school.
I know he’s mad at me because I’m the one who said no apartment sharing, and I feel terrible. Does anyone have any advice for me, or for him if he does have to break the lease? Help 🙁
EDIT: I told him to try to stick it out for at least a month and if the noise and partying is bad, to document everything and present it to his landlord as evidence for breaking his lease, hopefully without a penalty. I also told him if he had to move with super short notice, that I would be open to having him in my apartment building, but only if there were NO other apartments in the area at the right price, so it’s really a last option thing.