Post # 1
My fiance and I have essentially cohabitated for the past ten months in my old house- we go to college in a different state from our home state.
We decided to move back in with our parents this summer to save money, although staying in our college town was definitely considered, but the cost is just too high, even with both of us working. With all of our roommates moving out, rent on the house was going to get crazy.
It is so much more terrible than I could have possibly imagined. I have not been intimate with fiance in like two weeks, and even then it was hurried fumbled clothes-on sex while his family was on an errand. I feel like I’m in high school again. And it’s hard to even want it with younger siblings and parents in our faces all the time. We have not been able to be truly intimate with each other in probably a month, and it’s putting a little strain on the relationship. I left my job to move home for the summer, so now we’re both unemployed and can’t even afford to go on dates with how tight money is right now. We’ve been on one date since moving home in early May, do we’re not even having non-sexual intimacy or privacy. It’s so crappy to go from being newly engaged, super romantic, intimacy-all-the-time-in-the-privacy-of-our-house, to living in separate houses with parents. #HelpMe
I guess this is definitely one disadvantage I can chalk up to young, college-aged engagements. Older couples who aren’t as transitory can establish homes year-round and don’t deal with this. Seriously, I am almost to the point where I think we should just go parking several times a week, but I’ve gotten a lot more paranoid about being arrested for that shit since leaving high school. xD
Does anyone have any experience with living in separate households, perhaps with family members or children who make intimacy difficult? Honestly, I am so jealous of all you normal bees who can be intimate with your SO whenever. I definitely took it for granted until we moved home for the summer! I’m counting down the days until we both move back to college. If you have any advice on how to get through the next two months, I’d love to hear it, but I will also accept sympathy. I’ve just been feeling really down about this for a couple of days.
Post # 2
Is late at night after everyone is in bed a possibility? What about a close friend with an extra bedroom?
Post # 3
Why don’t both of you get jobs so that you can afford to go out and get a hotel room every once in a while?
Post # 4
Are there any house sitting opportunities where you live?
Post # 5
I don’t have much advice on sexual intimacy options, but you can be creative for dates and do free or inexpensive activities together. Some times – go on walks together, have picnics in parks, go to lookouts and look at the stars, etc. It’s amazing how intimate activites like that can be.
If you have a national park or campground nearby, campsites are usually really cheap for a night or two – a private tent and a fire are definitely romantic.
Post # 6
I moved back in with my parents two years ago to get my nursing degree (although my SO lives independently in another city). Our chances for intimacy when he visits me are extremely limited and if we try to be intimate it ends up being what my SO has nicknamed “meerkat sex”. Imagine two startled meerkats trying to have sex- it clearly does not happen. I guess I’m not “normal” then 😛 but I sympathize with your plight.
So quite often we’re averaging once a month (during the school year) of having sex. With school being over for the year if I visit him- it happens. A lot 😉
I agree with looking at free events in your city to find date ideas. Try being a tourist in your hometown- or going to a nearby town and doing “tourist-y” things there. With the warm weather upon us, you could try packing a picnic and heading to the beach for some couple time. My SO and I will poke around junk shops and antique shops for fun date ideas. We also go for a lot of walks.
Post # 7
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
It wasn’t because of college, but, FH and I are in a point where we are living in seperate households. We were renting a bedroom, but, had a blowout with two of our roommates since they were disrespectful & cliquey towards us. They also turned us discussing an issue as adults about another housemate that involved cops watching the house because of their activity into drama about us where I fistfought one of them and the roomie the issue was about’s family threatening FH’s livelyhood. They said they never wanted us to move out, but, that was the final straw.
Thus far we have had sex in public places at night, in FH’s car, and also have invested in cheap hotel rooms. Even if it’s divey, the people keep to themselves and those offering services will also leave you alone if you decline politely.
Post # 8
Honestly, I don’t think one month of no intimacy should be putting strain on your relationship, especially when it’s for a valid reason like no privacy. If you don’t have jobs you could probably just hang out late at night and just go at it when everyone is asleep.
Also, there are plenty of cheap/free things you can do for “dates.” You don’t need to spend money to have a good time.
Post # 9
Thanks for all the great advice ladies. I have two good jobs back in my college town, one of which is in my longterm career path, so it’s not as though we’re totally entitled bums or anything. Fiance is searching for a summer job right now, but the options around our small town aren’t too great. A lot of high schoolers have snatched them up already. I have a fabulous summer job in my longterm career area, but I don’t start working, and it doesn’t start paying, until the end of June. At that point, I think we will be taking many weekend trips to spend some time alone, so there is an end in sight eventually.
It’s just hard right now. We’ve been engaged for a little less than two months, and obviously I’d like some alone-time with my new fiance. I don’t think it’d be a big deal if we were used to living at home, but making such a big lifestyle change so early into the engagement is rough. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has been through this!
Post # 10
coachhw: do people really get arrested for parking? Because if you find a secluded spot that shouldn’t be breaking those decency laws.
do either of yr families have a tent? Why not go camping?
Post # 11
babeba: Haha, fair question. Our hometown is very, very small and the cops don’t have much to do. I know in high school, we had a great spot, but the cops were still literally called all the time. Never got caught! 😀
Post # 12
coachhw: then a field where you can pitch a tent is an option right?
Post # 13
julies1949: Uh, no way, if my housesitter had his/her SO over to have sex, that would be the end of the house-sitting gig. This is my home and while I don’t mind a house-sitter enjoying their stay, they’re here to work, not to hook up, and I would pop an eyeball if the aforementioned SO was someone I had never met. I don’t want strangers in my home and I don’t want to start drawing lines between a house-sitter’s steady SO and their casual fling.
coachhw: Depending on where you live, mystery shopping might be a way to get a free hotel stay, although you usually have to be “working” for the mystery shopping company for a little time doing restaurant or retail reviews before they let you sign up for hotel stays. Usually you have to pay up front for the hotel stay and once you write your review, you get reimbursed or get the credit card charge reversed. The hotel gigs go pretty quickly so you have to earn your stripes even to get them offered, then check for opportunities pretty much daily, but if you live near even a medium-sized city, it’s worth looking into. Also look for groupons/travel zoo/etc vouchers for local hotel and B&B stays; there are some really good discounts out there, and you can ask for groupon gift cards for birthdays and other gift-giving occasions if you have one coming up and don’t feel like asking outright for a little getaway.
Post # 14
Horseradish: Lots of people contract with couples to housesit. If the couple is living in the house, they are fully entitled to have sex in that house.
Post # 15
I agree with go camping. Tent sex can be fun