(Closed) Living together before a proposal?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 91
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Eirene00:  how about looking forward to starting your life together as husband and wife/wife and wife, etc.? You’re implying that those who’ve moved in first have nothing to look forward to. Two years in, I can confirm there are things worth looking forward to as a married couple beyond moving in together. I’m sure the bees with many more years of experience than I would agree.

Post # 92
Member
7772 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We did not live together before getting engaged, but we are moving in together next month, so we’ll live together for about 8 months before the wedding. My parents are devastated as they believe it is immoral to live together before marriage, but I’m hoping they’ll move past it. This is what makes sense for us financially/logistically (we’re long distance now…I’m not going to wait almost a year until the wedding to move to his city, nor am I gonna move there and rent my own place, wtf?). 

Post # 93
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We moved in together after about 6 months (early 2014) and just got engaged in April. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 94
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens

lolabee1986:  I lived with my SO before he bacame my Fiance. He took a job out of state and I decided to join him. I enjoy the time we spend together and I would not change this for the world. 

Post # 95
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

TheSpecial:  I’m not implying anything. For me, living together after marriage is another major step I will look forward to. That’s just me personally. Just like there are some bees here that think it’s silly not to live together before marriage. Different stokes for different folks.

Post # 96
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

Our timeline is 

Move to a different city together at 1 year 6 months.

Get engaged at 2 years

Move even further from home town at 6 years

Planning to get married in Vegas 2018 which will be our 10 years ๐Ÿ˜€ 

Seems like a huge amount of time and makes me laugh when people say a year or 2 is a long engagement 

Post # 97
Member
18 posts
Newbee

I’m not in this situation yet, but like you, I always thought that I’d be engaged to someone before moving in. However with my current Boyfriend or Best Friend, moving in together is pretty much mandatory before engagement, so I can see myself doing that sometime in the future. Honestly I don’t see a problem with it as long as you have certain things going into it. Like your relationship is stable and is moving towards engagement, etc. Think about the risks and what you stand to gain if things work out, and what you stand to lose if they likewise do not. Best of luck ๐Ÿ™‚

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  loramarie.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  loramarie.
Post # 98
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

lolabee1986:  my SO & I have been leaving together for almost 8 years. Like your SO he owned his home and I was renting. We were always together as well. So after 6 months of dating he suggested that we move in together. His home had enough room for the 4 of us (I have 2 kids), was closer to my job (2 minute drive, verses a 30 minute one way commute from my home), & it would save us both money. Even though I have been officially waiting about 3 years for a proposal, I wouldn’t change a thing. My SO is an older man and was set in his ways & so was I. By living with each we know that when the time comes we will be ok.

Post # 99
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Fiancé and I have lived together for 2.5 years. We just got engaged in March. We’ve had an inseparable bond since day one, and when his lease was up, it made financial sense for him to move in with me. He always paid majority of the bills, and I’ve always felt well taken care of! I truly believe us living together strengthend our relationship! We never did the “break up to make up” thing, because that wasn’t an option when both your names are on the lease ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s all about your relationship and what you think works for yall! 

Post # 100
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee

Nope.   I’ve been married.   I have a house.   He has an apartment.  He wants to move in but I’ve but my foot down.   He proposes and sets the date with me.   Then we plan his move in

 

Post # 101
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Californos

It’s hard to make a hard and fast rule about whether it’s a good or bad idea. It honestly depends on the couple. There are a lot of factors to consider, and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.

 

SO and I moved in together after a ridiculously short period of dating (about 3 months, a month of which I was out of the country). We’d both lived with people before, so we were more open to the idea. Although it didn’t make sense to anybody else, it made sense for us, and things are great between us. We intend to get engaged later this year and married in the next few years.

The key is being open about your intentions and maintaining open communication. Living together is hard work and I think it’s absolutely worth it. You have to be willing to accept that although it’s great most of the time, there will be rough moments. If you feel it’s right for you, absolutely do it. 

Post # 102
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Lived with two boyfriends before any proposal. First time was a disaster.. But I was really young and pretty naive so that whole thing was just a mess.

Second time was with my now husband. We got an apartment together 10 months after dating. He proposed 1 year after moving in. We got married 5 months later. I don’t look back and regret anything at all. We both knew we were serious and that marriage was in the future, I didn’t need a ring beforehand.ย 

Post # 103
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I always just figured living together would happen when the time was right. It was never something I felt extremely passionate about, but definitely saw the pros and felt like it was the right thing to do for myself.

My SO was renting with a friend when we met, and I was recently back living with my parents after finishing 2 degrees and living abroad. His lease was up after we’d been together for almost 6 months, so we moved in together. We got engaged a year and a half later (just before our 2 year anniversary).
We have a tiny, not-quite-1-bedroom apartment with a dog, and people are always telling us how tired we must be of each other because we live in such close quarters. We spend almost all of our time side-by-side. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve hung out in the bedroom while he’s in the living room. We really love each other’s company. I don’t think living separately until engagement would have made us get engaged quicker. Under 2 years is relatively fast, considering we met on our first date.
We’re getting married in November.

No regrets at all! Our timeline has been perfect for us and I wouldn’t change anything.
That being said, buying a house, and having an expensive ring and wedding are not priorities of ours, so the financial constraints of a mortgage, and multi-thousand dollar ring prior to actually getting engaged were non-existent, but I know they are important to many people.

Post # 104
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I lived with Darling Husband for 2.5 years before getting engaged. We moved in together after 5 months of dating lol ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 105
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

lolabee1986:  after living with my SO for 10 months, I know I want to marry him. I think living together is smart. You learn so much about the person during that time. I feel even more confident that he is the man for me. We have a beautiful life together, and marriage will enhance that. I don’t go for tradition just for tradition’s sake. It is a rationale decision some people decide to make.

I don’t feel like living together already makes any of this less exciting, which could be a fear. We currently live in a wonderful apartment, but have plans for a house in the future. We will still get to experience all of tha

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