Living together before marriage

posted 4 months ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

this guy sucks, I would not pick up my life (or what he’ll allow me to pick up…) and move away with him.

 

Cassidy3 :  

Post # 17
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

You deserve so much better than this! Please stay away from him. And please do some self reflection and figure out why you keep going back to him. It sounds like he has always treated you poorly and it’s been going on for so long that perhaps you think that is how you deserve to be treated. You don’t. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting to live together before marriage. Do what works doe you. But it was cruel of him to demand that you go against your own beliefs as well as create tension with your family, and then to act like you owed it to him to do so and to do everything his way. 

This guy is a total asshole and he doesn’t respect you or care about you. He’s a garbage boyfriend and would be an even worse husband. 

Post # 18
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I hink that moving in together before getting married is something very important, so you know the other person better. Don’t need to be engaged first, I don’t think that it would change anything in his behavior overall or in your feelings towards him. Because your problems lie deeper than that, I think. It seems to me, as he wanted to have his fun and experience and always knew you were there waiting for him and you were his save bet. Something that would have me livid. 

So don‘t get hung up on things like proposals or the fact of moving in together, but how he actually treats you/ makes you feel. This is what you should take into account. 

Post # 19
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

You’re his back-up plan. He doesn’t have anything better going right now, and you have been a convenient doormat, so why not? He figured he didn’t have to change anything to get you to come running, and he was almost right. Good for you for breaking it off. Now, Don’t. Go. Back.

Post # 20
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

Edited this as i didnt read your post properly. Sorry bee.

 

You have done the right thing. Its really hard to do this but youve done it. Seek support from family and friends but know that you can see a counsellor to work through any issues.

 

He was manipulating you, and its so easy to get stuck when you want a relationship to work and youre willing to do things to make it work. 

 

Im glad that you left it before it got too far. I do believe that he would hurt you in ways that would change who you are. 

 

Be kind to yourself. Also start doing things by yourself enjoy your single time and when youre ready go back and date again. Even if its only in 2 weeks time. Its your life. Enjoy it.

 

Post # 21
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

Phew, a narrow escape! Pat yourself on the back for untethering yourself from that flaming prick. And for heaven’s sake, when he inevitably comes back to you again in a couple of months in remorse, don’t fall for his shit AGAIN.

Post # 22
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Cassidy3 :  Cheating once ***maybe*** can be forgiven as a mistake but TWICE is blatant disrespect. People don’t cheat on people they love and respect. His negative view of your family’s belief regarding cohabitation is immature and should tell you that he doesn’t care about your family. I would run from this guy.

Post # 23
Member
6736 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You shouldn’t even be dating this guy, let alone moving in with him! He’s a loser. Be done with him for good. 

Post # 24
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

You deserve someone better.  He is demanding, doesn’t care for your family, or care for your own wants and wishes.  He more than likely sees you as a back up girl, or someone to have at home while he goes around and fools around. 

Post # 25
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

Dump him and find yourself a real man who puts you first, always. 

Post # 26
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

He sounds like a complete jerk and I’m glad you broke things off. Block him, delete him, no more of him! 

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