(Closed) Living Together before marriage?

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am not Roman Catholic but have you taken your pre-cana course work? I know they usually cover that subject . I am pretty sure that they really prefer that you don’t due to temptation and statistics on co-habitation. If its like a week before you wedding or something , I don’t think its an issue but you do have to be honest with your Pastor/Clergy member if that is going to be your choice. 


Post # 4
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Anomymous12345:  In short, yes they have an issue with it.  But it really depends on the priest themselves if they will marry you or not in this situation.  It’s a personal decision.  You could go to one Catholic church and they will marry you no problem after some discussion, and you could walk down the street to the next Catholic church and they will say absolutely not.  I would go with your gut.  Or be really familiar with what your church lets you do.  My fiance and I live together, and we are getting married in a church.  Still waiting for the final OK from the priest, but I don’t forsee any problems.

Post # 5
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think it depends on your parish.  I am Catholic and used to teach at a Catholic school where I was the DRS (director of religious studies) during that time I lived with my fiancee as we weren’t married then and it wasn’t an issue at all – the school knew we were living together.  (The school and parish are connected)

In our parish they don’t discriminate, I guess they know times have changed, more and more people live together before marriage, children born out of wedlock are just as welcome as children born in wedlock as they should be!

My husband is also Catholic and we got married in the Catholic Cathedral (not our local parish) and no one ever asked us if we lived together before hand – none of their business anyway!

If you are unsure is there someone in your parish you could talk to about it?


Post # 7
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Iowa

It depends on the priest! My local parish priest will NOT marry anyone who lives together before marriage – including my fiance and I. So check with your church before moving in together, better to check now than find out later he won’t marry you.

Post # 8
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Priests aren’t allowed to refuse marriage to people living together. If you are a baptized Catholic you have the right to access the Sacraments including the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

If you run into a priest who tries this, make sure to report him to the diocese (if you google the name of your diocese it will pull up their webpage, then you can find their phone#, call them and ask to speak to someone called the “Vicar for the Clergy” and they will light a fire under the priest). Basically it’s a personnel issue and you’re calling HR on him.

However, the priest CAN ask you to stop having sex before the wedding day, and they CAN ask you to go to to Confession before the wedding. Obviously nobody will be in your bedroom watching to see if you do in fact still have sex. On the other hand it’s not good to lie about these things. A lot of times priests won’t bother to even address this, it’s too frustrating to them because it’s hard to get people to listen on this issue.

And actually Confession is recommended for every engaged couple, not just those who live together because it helps you start off your marriage on the right foot spiritually. So you might want to do that anyway. We did and I was so glad.

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