Post # 47
I think I already responded, but I want to add something that might sound a little odd.
I worked in counseling for domestic violence for a few years. Prior to that, I was on the fence about moving in before marriage. Now that I’ve done that, I couldn’t do it any other way! I guess I just worked with too many women whose partners seemed great until they moved in together and he had more control and suddenly his crazy abusive tendencies came out.
Now, I’m not saying that I think my SO is going to become abusive. If that were even a possibility in my mind, I wouldn’t be moving in with him. But I also realize that people (sometimes subconciously) can more easily hide who they are when they have their own home to go back to. I don’t think people “should” live together or “should not”… I think you have to do what feels right for you. But based on my experiences, living together before marriage feels “right”
Post # 48
Various studies seem to show that couples who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce and a higher rate of marital dissatisfaction than those who wait to live together before marriage.
Here’s one article to read before you consider living together:
The article stated “Couples who live together to see if marriage is a good idea may be most prone to later disaster. It’s possible that if you feel the need to “test” the relationship, you may already know in your heart of hearts that it’s not meant to be. It’s also likely that people who move in together have different values than those who don’t; if you’re very religious, you’re less likely to cohabit, but you’re also less likely to consider divorce an option when times get tough [source: CNN]. Cohabiters may be more apt to divorce, particularly if they’ve lived with several people in the past — one study found that serial female cohabiters have divorce rates that are twice as high as women who cohabited once, with the man that became their husband..”
Post # 49
My husband and I didn’t “live” together before we were married though it seemed like i lived at his house. I was there ALL THE TIME!. I’m glad we waited until we got married to actually get “our” place. We have an amazing relationship and have adjusted really well to living together.
Post # 50
My husband and I didn’t live together before we were married and it also wasn’t because of religious purposes. We felt for us that living together before marriage would make it feel less special when we did get married. My personal opinion on it is that if I love him enough to want to marry him and commit my life to him then little trivial things that come up when we lived together shouldn’t really become a deal breaker and we will work through it because we commited to each other purely out of love. I don’t like to comment on things as controversial as this because it is different for everyone. I just wanted you to know how we felt since you thought it was odd that they weren’t doing this for religious purposes. Also we did sleep together before but not because we were trying each other out we were just very much in love and attracted to each other.
Post # 51
For us it was the right choice to live together before marriage but to each is own on this one!!!!