(Closed) Living together before the big day

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: What describes your situation?
    We're living together, and our family knows it and are fine with it : (130 votes)
    71 %
    We're living together, and our family knows it but some/all are upset : (16 votes)
    9 %
    We're living together, but hiding it from some/all of our families : (7 votes)
    4 %
    We're not living together, and family would be upset if we did : (17 votes)
    9 %
    We're not living together, but family wouldn't care if we did : (7 votes)
    4 %
    Other (describe) : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    All of our families know we live together and if any of them care, we haven’t heard about it. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Some of my mom’s side, who are all very Catholic, we’re in a bit of a huff about it when he moved in with me. We had planned on going to visit my aunt when my parent’s went there (about a 3 hour drive) but my aunt was very NO about us sleeping in the same bed even though we lived together at that point for over 2 years. His side doesn’t care, the rest of my family doesn’t care. It’s just those few people who made a big whoop about it. Meh.

    Post # 5
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @beth183:  After I graduate from college my bf which is now my husband bought a townhome for us. It was really hard at first because his mom threat me like crap like why am I living at his son’s roof.  Some of my aunt were all b**tching and that we’re not married yet. My family were old school, sticking to tradition and very Catholic too. It was so hard to deal with them, but then I don’t really care what they said because me and my bf were together for 8 yrs, so it feels like we’re already married. Plus, we’re done with college, were not like highschool trying to depend on them.

     So after few months, my bf (now husband) proposed to me and we decided to get married a yr after. Now it feels good to be legal in papers.. hehe..

    Post # 6
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We’re living together and it’s no big deal. His family wasn’t thrilled at first but they don’t care now. We didn’t tell them but his mom is super sneaky and found out.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    11166 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I come from a very conservative Christian family so needless to say some of them were quite upset when we moved in together. Eventually they let it go and the comments died down a bit.

    I am 100% glad we did it despite my original concerns. Those difficult post-wedding transitions are over and done with and we fell into being husband and wife with ease.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I moved out of my mom’s house and in with Fiance so my immediate family knows I live with him but FI’s family doesn not know we live together. They are Mormon and would not approve. It’s really a lie of ommission because Fiance doesn’t like to lie verbally.  His family knows I have my own apartment, they just don’t know that Fiance lives in it as well. I think I am more concerned about keeping it from them because I want them to like me. Fiance just feels that if they find out then they find out and oh well but in the meantime he doesn’t feel the need to rub it in their face and make them unhappy.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2424 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We lived together for almost two years before getting married. Our families knew and didn’t care at all. In fact, all of our siblings and cousins lived with their future spouses before marriage.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Not only have we been living together for 13 years, we have 3 kids.  No one said boo! LOL.  And his mom is VERY Catholic.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Just want to add that everyone is happy we’re finally tying the knot though… but it won;t make us any MORE than what we already are: a family.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I didn’t “officially” move in until the weeks before the wedding.  I still had my apartment and kept all my furniture, etc, there. 

    Eventually most of my family figured out I was living there but not everyone.  They didn’t say anything but wouldn’t have been happy if I really up and moved in with him before the wedding (or before we were engaged!). 

    Post # 13
    Member
    826 posts
    Busy bee

    We don’t live together.  Many of our family members would be upset and/or talk about us if we did. I can’t believe so many Bees’ families are okay with premarital cohabitation!  

    Post # 14
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    we are not living together, however we really didn’t even discuss it because we are living in seperate cities before our wedding. however, if we were in the same city, i imagine that we would live apart if we could do so without breaking the bank. we both think that our marriage will be more special to us if we withhold cohabitation until the official “i do.” 

    Post # 15
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We lived together for 2+ years before marriage.  My family did not care at all.  Almost his whole family didn’t like it, and we heard whispers every now and again.  Ironically, most of the  disapprovals came out after we got engaged and married.

    When we visited my family, they allowed us to share a room. His family did not (which we totally respected), so when we visited, we chose to stay in a hotel.

    Post # 16
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My SO and I don’t live together and probably won’t until after the wedding.  His family is very Catholic and would be VERY upset…  However, he and I stay with each other almost every night at either my place or his, so it feels like we’re living together already.  We’re already in the habit of speaking as if we live together (i.e. “let’s do such and such when we get home”).

    The topic ‘Living together before the big day’ is closed to new replies.

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