Living together – breakup (complicated and need help!)

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like an abusive relationship, I would get a restraining order and have him evicted straight away. I would seek legal advice if I were you. 

Post # 4
Member
1775 posts
Buzzing bee

doubts :  he hits the PUPPY?! Bee, you’re clearly living in fear of what this man might do if you break up with him. You need to file a restraining order and break up with him.

Post # 5
Member
8940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

doubts :  Have you looked into tenancy laws? There may be cause to evict him given the abuse, especially of the dog. You should talk to a lawyer.

Post # 9
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

He needs to be out of your life as soon as possible. Please go see a lawyer and / or shelters, centers taking care of people in domestic abuse situations. They will be able to guide to the best option. He needs to GO NOW. Do you have male friends or family members who can come live with you during the 30 days if it comes to this? That may intimidate him as such abusers are unbelievably cowards.

And please don’t believe him about all your supposed “imperfections”. Glad to see you trying to better your life by getting him out. Don’t stop until you succeed and never believe a single thing he says.

Post # 10
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

If I were you I would consider having a trusted friend or family member stay at the house to watch it during the 30 days and then you can stay elsewhere. Maybe that would encourage him to get out faster. I don’t know it’s a really tough situation, I’d be afraid to stay there myself but also terrified of my house getting destroyed. Maybe put up some cameras to monitor things and get evidence if you had to… 

you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. You’ll get through this 

Post # 12
Member
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

The best advice you’re gonna get is gonna come from a lawyer. Please go speak with one. 

Post # 13
Member
8540 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

doubts :  Did you tell the police that he kicks and punches your puppy and that you are afraid of him? If not, please go back and tell them this. At the very least they should refer you to a domestic abuse organization, and more likely arrest him for animal cruelty. The domestic abuse people can help you find a lawyer and help you think through some strategies for protecting yourself in the meantime. They are familiar with emotional abuse, gaslighting, etc. You absolutely should not stay with this guy. It does not get better, only worse.

Post # 15
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee

You stay in your house. It works better to have a few friends or family com visit or stay with you constantly for the 30 days until he leaves. If people have to take shifts so be it. But have people stay at your house with you. It will make it hard for him to cause shit, it will give you witnesses to any behavior, safety, and will most likely make him wanna get out ASAP as these people are in his space. 

If no one can stay with you I suggest speaking to the police and a lawyer about what you should/ can do. They should be able to tell you how to proceed. From what I understand if your boyfriend voluntarily leaves the house he then can’t come back. For example, you have a police officer show up to your house to be there while you break up with him. You ask your boyfriend to get his stuff and get out. If your boyfriend agrees and takes some of his things and leaves than at least in the us I think that is him voluntarily leaving and he can’t then claim he can stay. 

A lawyer is really where you gotta start and the police. 

 

Do not not believe him when he says you aren’t great and won’t be able to get someone else. That is a lie. Do not feel bad that you fell for this. He slowly and overtime stripped away your self worth. Anything he says you should tell yourself is a lie. Because anything he says is only said to manipulate you. Schedule a therapy session for yourself ASAP. That will help you feel supported, possibly give you help in getting away from him, and give you tools to recognize his lies. Bee you are never separated from love. This guy is not your only chance at love and he can’t take it away from you no matter what. Love isn’t limited to one person or one situation. This week every time you see a couple who look happy, or a cute family say to yourself, “ that’s mine too” because it is. It is proof that you too can have that. Keep us updated and please come here when you need support. Hugs bee ❤️

 

doubts :  

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