Living together – breakup (complicated and need help!)

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 16
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

doubts :   

You’re feeling as you do because you have been brainwashed by an abuser. They’re quite good at it. The smartest, strongest, most savvy among us get taken down hard by these master manipulators. He has knocked you off balance. The beginning of the process of losing yourself is well underway.

Do you have a trusted friend or family member who can keep your puppy for awhile? Your instincts are right. Abusers will very often hurt or kill beloved pets. And, the poor pup is in a horrible environment.

Have you spoken to an attorney specifically about your stbx’s rights as a “tenant” who pays no rent? What was your agreement with stbx? Verbal contracts are fully legally enforceable, though proof is generally an issue. In the US, any contract  that involves real estate, and, by its terms will last more than one year, must be in writing. That includes rental agreements and leases. The rule originated in common law, but has been codified for many years.

Even if he does have some type of rental agreement or lease, you can bet he has repeatedly violated the terms by abusing you and violently attacking a helpless puppy. If you have nothing in writing, you will still be ok if you have to go to court. I cannot fathom any judge willing to find that he retains any possessory rights based on his commission of repeated criminal acts. Standard rental and lease agreements require that tenants refrain from illegal activities. The judge can easily find an “implied” violation, if it even gets that far.

Legally, it seems improbable that you actually owe this guy 30 days. Your local DV facility may have information on this.

From this moment on, document everything. Dates, times, locations, words, calls, texts, emails, all of it.

Here is the DV Hotline.


Home – The Hotline®



Post # 20
15 posts
  • Wedding: City, State

doubts :  Im not sure where you are but ANIMAL ABUSE IS ILLEGAL. KICKING AND PUNCHING A PUPPY IS ILLEGAL. Im from Canada and all that shit is illegal and you can and should call the police and the SPCA or ASPCA if you live in US. TAKE THE PUPPY AWAY TO LIVE WITH PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY WILL PROTECT IT IF YOU CANT.

Also you can get a restraining order against him and forcibly have him removed. 



Post # 21
591 posts
Busy bee

You need to get him out of your house ASAP, Bee. You have describe animal abuse and emotional domestic abuse.  

Go see a lawyer and talk to the police again. But I would not leave him in your house Bee, it may be even harder to get rid of him then. 

He should be arrested for animal abuse and not let back into your property. 

Post # 22
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Speak to a lawyer. If he/she says, that there is NO way of getting him out faster, I’d go with a previous suggestion: ask a trusted friend, or maybe a couple to move into the house for those 30 days to try and keep him in check. 

But PLEASE don’t go with option 3. Don’t stay in this relationship. 

Post # 23
2526 posts
Sugar bee

Take pictures of your house’s condition BEFORE you move out in case he trashes the place. Judges like photo evidence.

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