(Closed) Living together but church ceremony

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
770 posts
Busy bee

I think you should find a officiant that you can be honest with. You shouldn’t have to lie to get married, especially in the classes. Do you have to have a Catholic wedding? You said you aren’t a practicing Catholic.

Post # 4
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

So you aren’t practicing and you don’t really intend to be a Catholic…be careful about getting married in a Catholic church.  Catholicism is more strict on those kinds of things when marrying people in a Catholic church.  As in, at least one member of the couple should be a Catholic in good standings with the church (aka a practicing Catholic).  Do you intend to raise your children Catholic or just send them to Catholic school?  In the vows in a Catholic ceremony it talks about raising your children Catholic.

To be completely honest I would reconsider getting married in a Catholic church…….

Edit: sorry for so many “Catholic” words!  Holy cow!!

Post # 5
60 posts
Worker bee

Wow, this is the first time I’ve heard about this.. I, myself am a practising Catholic. I lived with my husband before we got married. My brothers lived with their so before they got married. At our marriage class, the majority lived with their so. It was never something that was looked down upon or spoken about. My priest highly recommended that couples lived together (separation/divorce rates are high) before marriage. I think its different with everyone’s parish but this is the first time I’ve heard about this.

Post # 6
3727 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My husband and I were asked if we lived together during our talks with the priest. He said we’d be surprised how many people were nervous to tell the truth. He said that the church realizes couples live together before getting married. They encourage couples to live apart during their engagement but understand that most won’t. They have a separate set of questions on the FOCUS test for couples who live together. Also, at least one of you will need to provide a letter from the priest at your current church proving you are an active member of the church. That may be difficult if you haven’t been in years. 

Post # 7
7435 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I just do not understand starting off a marriage by lying to the officiant so you can get married into a religion you don’t practice.

Be honest with your priest.

Our priest asked us and just gave us a different set of FOCUS questions as PP said.

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