Post # 1
Hey everyone my fiance and I have been engaged for about a year and been dating for going on to 8 years. We have gone away together before alone and With Friends and recently we decided to live together after we got engaged we already know each other so well but we got to know each other a little bit better and I am very happy with our decision. Some people have said we should wait till we are married but I do not consider myself to be a practicing Catholic I have not gone to church for many many years however my family is Catholic and I want to raise my children in a Catholic School. My family and I do not know the priest local church because we have not been in many years but my mom still and my family and I want a Catholic ceremony so we need to take marriage classes. My family told me to put our family home addresses otherwise the priest will not marry us I know there are other flexible priest however my family said they will just refer you back to my local Parish. So essentially we had to lie and put our family addresses and now that the classes we have to pretend we are not living togethet. Is it common has anybody else had to do this I feel bad doing that but apparently its what needs to be done
Post # 2
I think you should find a officiant that you can be honest with. You shouldn’t have to lie to get married, especially in the classes. Do you have to have a Catholic wedding? You said you aren’t a practicing Catholic.
Post # 3
Both our families are and we want our children to go to Catholic school
The reason we need to us my families church is its a few meters away and very convient
Post # 4
So you aren’t practicing and you don’t really intend to be a Catholic…be careful about getting married in a Catholic church. Catholicism is more strict on those kinds of things when marrying people in a Catholic church. As in, at least one member of the couple should be a Catholic in good standings with the church (aka a practicing Catholic). Do you intend to raise your children Catholic or just send them to Catholic school? In the vows in a Catholic ceremony it talks about raising your children Catholic.
To be completely honest I would reconsider getting married in a Catholic church…….
Edit: sorry for so many “Catholic” words! Holy cow!!
Post # 5
Wow, this is the first time I’ve heard about this.. I, myself am a practising Catholic. I lived with my husband before we got married. My brothers lived with their so before they got married. At our marriage class, the majority lived with their so. It was never something that was looked down upon or spoken about. My priest highly recommended that couples lived together (separation/divorce rates are high) before marriage. I think its different with everyone’s parish but this is the first time I’ve heard about this.
Post # 6
My husband and I were asked if we lived together during our talks with the priest. He said we’d be surprised how many people were nervous to tell the truth. He said that the church realizes couples live together before getting married. They encourage couples to live apart during their engagement but understand that most won’t. They have a separate set of questions on the FOCUS test for couples who live together. Also, at least one of you will need to provide a letter from the priest at your current church proving you are an active member of the church. That may be difficult if you haven’t been in years.
Post # 7
I just do not understand starting off a marriage by lying to the officiant so you can get married into a religion you don’t practice.
Be honest with your priest.
Our priest asked us and just gave us a different set of FOCUS questions as PP said.