(Closed) Living w/ parents after wedding & I’m Okay with it. Anyone else?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We moved in with my dad almost a year ago when his health started deteriorating to the point where him living alone didn’t seem like a good idea anymore.  When we first moved in everyone was like “wow thats so great of you.”  Now that we have been getting closer to the wedding everyone has been asking, what are you going to do after the wedding, where are you moving?  The thing is although my dad has a lot of good days he also has a lot of bad days and after talking it over amongst ourselves and him, us staying with him long term seems like the best idea.  His house isn’t the nicest and needs work, so selling it with how the market is just wouldn’t be a good idea.  He actually can’t even afford it on his own, he pays the mortage (which includes insurance & taxes) and we pay the utilities.  So we aren’t living carefree but it is nice to be able to help him out.  Plus it allows us to further our education more, my Fiance went back to school to get his BA (he had a A.E.) and I’m in a MA program and possibly might do a docrtoral program after that.  Yes it is a little strange but in the end it helps us all out, so it works!

Post # 48
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@pinkshoes: we have a/c (not really optional in the south, lol), w/d hookup, dishwasher, a fairly large parking area, a small flower bed, a back deck, decent closets.

 

I have no elevator, but I live in a townhouse, so nobody needs one.

Post # 50
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee

@Future Couture: We’re north of the city (obviously) but my college roomie lives in East Bridgewater.

Post # 52
Member
12261 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t know how I convinced Fiance to stay up here instead of moving back down south. 

lol, we don’t live in the city anymore, and never paid for that parking space.  We took our chances with resident street parking and some times paid the price of looking for parking for 30+ minutes.

Post # 54
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Future Couture:

My family and FI’s family also live about one and a half hours away from eachother. We try to make the trek up to his family once a month, although this sometimes dosn’t happen and sometimes it happens more than once a month. The places between us and his parents is also not a place we want to live.

Post # 55
Member
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sure I’m not going to be very popular in this thread but I just felt the need to chime in…

As someone who once lived with my FIL’s (like 6 years ago), I would NEVER go back. It’s not that living with them was terrible, it really wasn’t, but it made us feel like children. We had our own living quarters but not being responsible for ourselves financially (we were paying our own bills but not for the roof over our heads) and having to rely on them was just not something that I would ever want to do again. Sure it was cheap but I wouldn’t trade our condo that we rent now for anything. I personally couldn’t imagine getting married and still be living with our parents but too each their own, I guess.

To the PP who said “have fun renting your apartment FOREVER”, this kinda pissed me off a little. Just because someone rents an apartment does not mean that they’ll be renting forever. Quite the opposite actually. We’ve been renting for more than 5 years and we could buy a house right now if we wanted. We like being able to call maintenance and have them come fix stuff when it breaks. We like not having to break our backs shoveling. We like that everything is maintained and looks awesome yet we didn’t have to put any work into it. Buying a house is great and it’s something that we will more than likely do in the next year or so, but we’re going to do that while renting our condo and being responsible for ourselves. 

Post # 56
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My fiance and I are doing the exact same thing. He also pays a little a month for water and electricity and we buy our own food. We are the same age too and if im calculating right our fiances are the same age too! lol I just dont want to be paying rent the rest of my life. If we moved out now and got an apartment It would take a while to save a good deposit.

Post # 57
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@UpstateCait: I don’t think you’ll be hated on for saying that haha! 🙂 It’s just the situation that worked for you, as our situation is what works for us. In our case, since we’re really just starting out and have only been out of college 1-2 years, we’re barely making 60K/year COMBINED. Until we get some experience behind us and can move up in our positions, if we even tried to rent now that’s where all the money would be going to. We would not be able to rent and save for a house at the same time, and I think that’s where the PP’s “have fun renting forever” comment stemmed from. Nobody LIKES having to rely on other people (parents) for these things, but sometimes it’s the only option. I also don’t agree with renting as to me (again, in MY particular situation) seems like throwing money out the window toward something you’ll never ever own. Most people can’t do both, so I envy your situation!

Post # 58
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My hubby and I live with my parents where we have 2 rooms and a bathroom (typically only shared when guests are here) and a refrigerator.  🙂  I’d rather live here and be able to save money for a house then be struggling to the extreme on our own.  Immigration adds so many fun complications.  lol  Besides, my parents rock!

Post # 59
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with it. And I agree renting sucks we originally wanted to buy but we only have about 5k saved at the moment so that wont go far. I do have to say though maybe talk to your parent’s and make sure they are ok with it still after you get married and that you aren’t putting a burden on them in any way.

Post # 60
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Your not the only one!! Lol, We just married 3/19 and came from our honeymoon! We were planning to stay at his parents, but that was a def NO! We decided to stay at my parents and we have the whole upstairs to ourselves. We plan to save,save, AND save, as much as possible in the next year (hopefully months) so we can purchase our home. We payed for most of our wedding, so we are broke right now :(.  So dont feel bad or embarrased :).

Post # 61
Member
12261 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@UpstateCait: “We had our own living quarters but not being responsible for ourselves financially (we were paying our own bills but not for the roof over our heads) and having to rely on them was just not something that I would ever want to do again.”

That’s the key difference I think.  Most of us here dont/didnt have to rely on our parents to provide the roof over our head.  I choose to stay and save the money we would have otherwise spent on rent.  When the choice is there and decision to save money is made vs being forced to live at home cause you cant afford the rent, its totally different.  I own a house now and shell out a ton for morgage, and dont think dishing out this extra money for the roof over my head makes me feel anymore like an adult.

I totally understand you pov though.  Fiance says exactly what you said.  That the independance is all worth the expenses, etc and he didnt understand living at home.  Now that hes sitting comfy in our house thanks to my savings… he started to see why it might be worth it to give a few years of independance.

The topic ‘Living w/ parents after wedding & I’m Okay with it. Anyone else?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors