Post # 1
My bf and I have been together for 4 years and we have a good relationship despite this situation. We are both 25 and 26. Anyways, when we first met, the family house was initially supposed to be left in his name when his mom got married and moved out. His two sisters didn’t live there either because they lived with their boyfriends at the time.
The title was never changed to his name but we had the house to ourselves a few months until all of a sudden due to relationship issues both of his sisters moved back in and it’s been that way ever since For 2-3 years. One of the sister’s boyfriend even moved in and now it’s all 5 of us in a 3 bedroom house.
Everyone has their share of rent or payments. a few months ago everyone seemed to be on the mind set of moving forward with life wanting their own place. My bf and I even talked about moving out and having our own place.
Not too long ago he heard his sis and her bf talk about moving out. This was just casual conversation and didn’t sound like the near future at all to me but my bf claims they are looking at apartments online. Now he thinks the house will be his again and changed his mind about our plans and is waiting for everyone to move out which I highly doubt Would be soon.
Even if he does stay, it won’t be OURS but seen as the family house where everyone will fall back on if plans fall through or if his mom wants something because technically it is hers. She already announced she is stopping by or makes family get together a there without asking but instead notifying. He debated with me and said that will never happen if it was just us two and it would change but I don’t think so. It’s technically her house.
It’s a lot cheaper for him to stay there which is the main concern because his work is slow and he’s paying for school to become an engineer. I have a slight concern myself as I have been at my job 10 months but still a temp so I’m looking for a permanent hire job…but I make enough right now.
I just want to move forward and get our own place in the near future. We surprisingly have enough alone time because everyone goes out and does their own thing. But I wanna place of our own, what to do?
This topic was modified 5 years ago by Mlim.
Post # 2
Can you guys use the money you’re saving by living in his mom’s house to buy or rent a place to yourself?
Moving out or sharing your home with your boyfriend’s family seem to be the only alternatives.
Or maybe your boyfriend’s mom would be willing to sale him the house foe a reasonable price?
Post # 3
Please don’t take this as me being harsh, but you have a pretty sweet deal right now.
You said it yourself, you have enough alone time. If I could go back five years and tell myself anything, is stay where the discounts are for as long as possible. I understand that it can be frustration, but from what it sounds like, they’re not really bothering you by living there. It’s just the fact that they live there with you that bothers you. I have had roommates all of my life, and even now my Fiance is my roommate. You learn to deal. If you and your boyfriend are serious about your future together, then stay in the house as long as possible and save up money to buy your own house. Or, you can offer to pay for the title of the house the mom is holding on to. I guess in the end, I would stay at that house where you have it made until you and your boyfriend set some more concrete plans for your future; like an engagement or getting married. You don’t want to get stuck in a lease or a mortgage with someone you’re not 100% sure will be there in your future
Post # 4
becomingsumner: “stay where the discounts are for as long as possible”…..
yes yes yes yes YES. 🙂 Save that dough, live cheap for now while you are young and your roommates are family. You will be so grateful for it in a few years when you have that 20% down for a house, no problem.
Post # 5
I am not clear why your fiance should get the house, and his sisters nothing. Does not sound fair to me. Whatever. I think the house should either be sold and proceeds split or everyone gets to use it when needed. BTW, there may be a time when YOU and fiance need a temporary place. I would try to stay.
Post # 6
I really honestly don’t see the problem! You aren’t exactly owed a free house :/ It sounds like everyone is pulling their weight and being respectful of each others’ space and need for privacy.
As a 25-year old married person who has lived away from home financially independently for 8 years… seriously, you have a sweet deal. Me and my DH live in a tiny expensive apartment and we are not going to be buying a house within the next 10-15 years barring à miracle or lottery win.
I totally agree with PPs’ about saving money. Also, you should just feel grateful and privileged!
Finally, I am seriously having trouble understanding why you two feel entitled to this house!?
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. Appreciate input and other insight. I think ill enjoy the money to save for a nice place and go on a nice trip which we were seriously Discussing….as long as it’s temporary lol
Post # 8
No one said we felt entitled. I wanted us to move and get a place together. The house was supposed to end up being his because he helps pay mortgage.