(Closed) Loan for the wedding? *Long*

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

I know this is generally a taboo topic here, the whole ‘never enter a marriage in debt’ thing, but I feel these days that is completely irrelevant, and debt is simply a part of life we all have to deal with. We both have debt (not substantial, just car loans/credit cards) and we’re okay with that. But this morning my fiance mentioned he thinks we should take out a loan for the wedding. I think this would be pretty hard for us (I’m self employed so no paystubs etc to prove income, getting a car was a nightmare!) plus I just don’t know if it’s a good idea. I know we can afford the payments, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the interest. A little more about the financial situation around the wedding:

We were engaged in Dec 2011 and settled on a date March 2012 (the wedding is October this year). We started saving immediately but not as muchas we do now as our original budget was $8000, plus $5000 for the honeymoon. However the venues and services and everything we would have to settle on for an $8,000 wedding was reallllly discouraging. I wouldn’t consider us quality snobs or anything, and we are only having 50 guests, but everything in this area is just sooo expensive. So then I ran across another venue in May last year and we went to look at it and we fell in love. We can get married outdoors and have the reception in the banquet hall. We are getting married on a Sunday morning to cut costs. But still, our budget is now at $14,000 for the wedding, so almost 19K with the honeymoon included :O

Currently we have paid for $5500 of the total wedding/honeymoon expenses. We have about $1500 in our wedding account. We both save $500 per month towards the wedding, and I usually save a couple hundred more if I have a good month. But $500 a month is rough for him on his fixed income and it’s stressing him out. He makes around 2200/month, and my income ranges from 2500-4000 monthly. Cost of living here is super high though, so basically all of our dispensible income has gone to the wedding, and we still have $13,500 left to pay.

His parents likely will help a little bit, say probably around $1000 (they wont commit to a number yet). We are going to visit my dad next month, who has yet to meet him even though we’ve been together over 5 years (my dad lives on the other side of the country and will have to travel for the wedding, as well as my maid of honor). My dad has asked me for my budget and I have shared it with him but he want to talk about it in person after he meets him. I do believe he will pitch money but I’m clueless as to what he is willing to do and what he can afford. It could be $1000, could be $5000 I really have no idea. Of course we wouldn’t take out a loan until everyone commits to what they will pitch. I’d be happy with anything because at first it seemed we were going to have to pay for the whole thing ourselves. 

So even if we get $2000 from our families as a minimum, and what we have in savings already, that leaves us with $10k still to come up with. I do believe we could save it up in time or I wouldn’t have commited to it, but the last thing I wan’t is for him to get so stressed that he starts viewing the wedding in a negative light. 

Sorry for the long post, I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask, I guess I’m just looking for advice and if anyone has gone the loan route. Would it be better to just keep saving and hope it all comes together? Also, cutting costs is not an option at this point, we’ve narrowed everything down and cut corners as much as were willing to.

Thanks bees!

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

@dkacerek:  I feel like if we got the loan now, it would probably be paid off by the end of the year. I would pay as much on the loan as I put into savings now. I just don’t want him to stress anymore. I don’t really think we need it, but I’m just entertaining his suggestion.

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

@dmk90716:  I say this because who can buy a house outright with cash? A 3 bedroom house in this area runs about 400K right now. We want to move to a different part of the country just because of the cost of living here, but moving jobs isn’t that easy, especially moving 2 jobs. Once I have my RN license it will be a lot easier to get out San Diego. But regardless, I don’t know anyone who is not in debt over their home, and usually their cars too.

I really do not understand why there is such negative thoughts around debt, as long as you pay everything on time, your credit is still good. It is advised to keep a 30% balance of your credit limit on cards to improve your score. I’ve taken a personal financial planning college course, and I have always been very good with money. So if we want to spend that much on our wedding, it really shouldn’t matter to others in a different financial situation. I was simply wondering what other bees experiences were with wedding loans. 

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

@yellowshoe:  It’s not that we’re unwilling, it’s just there is no where else to cut from. Our venue has a 50 guest minimum, so we can’t cut there. And everything else we have found the cheapest options possible (except my dress, that was $1500 but I didn’t like anything else) I’m sure you can understand somewhat, as Laguna Beach is pretty expensive as well. 

I understand you don’t think saving and hoping it all comes together is a good idea, but when I budget to save a certain amount I do, and the amount I plan to save by September and the amount he plans to save does add up to enough to cover the costs even without help from our families. We are simply weighing the options on making it less stressful. I know it’s stressful for him because he is a spender, and likes to go out and spend money and now he can’t very often, while I’m a  saver and have no problem holding off on spending when saving for something really important to me. I’m sure he will probably get over it soon and agree a loan is not the best option, but I just wanted to entertain his suggestion.

I understand it’s just a few hours, but we’ve been waiting for this day for 5 years and we want to make it a really special celebration and that means spending money on things that are important to us.

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

@hma812:  Actually I didn’t even consider using one of our cards as a last resort if we really need to. I’m sure our interest rate on those is better then what we would get on a personal loan.

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

@littletree:  Thanks! If we do go the loan route (doubt we will though) I will definitely do that

• kittylove13
• 6 years ago

• Wedding: October 2013

@Bostongrl25:  

Yes thats what initially turned me off to the loan thing. I think personal loans are a huge no no. He thinks it’s ok and a lot of people take out loans for weddings. I would rather not because of the interest.

We planned backwards, and had our honeymoon booked before we started the wedding stuff. To us, the honeymoon is even more important. I remember when I first started talking to my dad about the wedding, he said cut costs where you can so you can splurge on the honeymoon. $5k for 7 days in pure heaven is well worth it and very much needed. 

Honestly, I believe if the time came and we were X amount short, that one of our families would give and/or lend us the rest of the amount. It’s just I’m such a control freak when it comes to finances that I don’t like to depend on money that isn’t necessarily there yet.