Post # 1
Someone propsed the idea of taking out a loan to pay for the wedding. So, thatwe wont have to worry so much about whats coming and going right now. (but still keep track of course!).
Its customary here for the gues to give on average $120 as a gift at the reception dinner in order to help out the new couple. Im not too sure if this is done in other parts.
Anyhow, I guess it makes sense, but Im not too sure about going through with it.
In the end, the ‘gifts’ pay for the wedding and hopefully more;)
The traditional gifts (registry gifts) are given at the bridal shower. Toasters, blenders, china, etc. Again not sure whats done in other areas and cultures.
Post # 3
I personally wouldn’t count on monetary gifts in order to pay for the wedding. Although I don’t know specifically what cultural norms you are referencing, I think it’s incredibly risky to take a loan, expecting to make back what you pay for the wedding in gifts. Especially in this economy where people are struggling more than they have in the past years. It’s just my oppinion, but I would NEVER take a loan to pay for a party! It sets your up for financial difficulty and stress right from the get go.
Post # 4
Thats what I initially said but the more I think about it the more it doesnt sound so bad. I know that the least amount to be expected from any guest is $100. I know no one would give less. If the couldnt afford it they wouldnt show up, theyd let us know that they were having ‘troubles’. Both of our familiesand friends follow these…hmm “rules”.
Post # 5
Don’t do it, if you don’t have to. You don’t want to start your marriage with more debt than you already have. We are paying for our wedding ourselves and not putting anything on credit. We are paying cash for everything. If you set yourself a budget and stick to it, you can have the wedding you want.
You can use your gifts to help purchase a home or go on a honeymoon. I personally wouldn’t count on monetary gifts to pay for our wedding; however, it is not tradition here for guests to give that much money for gifts and we are letting our guests know via word of mouth that their presence at our wedding is gift enough.
Post # 6
Don’t do it!! I think if you take a loan you are more likely to have a bigger wedding than you can afford. It’s one day! My personal opinion is perhaps you need to wait for a year to save up some additional funds…I also am unsure that it is a good idea to assume all of your guests are going to give you cash. Maybe that really is customary, but are you and your Fiance not registering for gifts at all? Also, I’m not sure how much money you are thinking you’ll need but lets say you think you’ll only need $5000 (which is EXTREMELY LOW) you’d need 500 people at the wedding to cover that cost!! And the more people you have the higher the toal amount is going to get so something is not adding up.
Post # 7
I would nix the loan idea. I know that paying for a wedding is HARD! My Fiance and I decided yesterday to have a small ceremony and cook out with close family and a few friends and then have a marriage celebration ceremony and reception next year. Unconventional? Yes. Is it what I want to do? No. Will it be better for my Fiance and I? Yes yes yes.
So plan your wedding according to what you can afford at the time. I dont think going into debt for one day is worth it in the end.
Post # 8
Taking out a loan for a wedding is a really bad idea. Starting your marriage that much in debt just for one day isn’t worth the stress, the hassle, and did I mention the stress? If we had needed to pay for the wedding ourselves, it would have been our immediate family only with a nice dinner after the ceremony. Nothing fancy, just us getting married, with probably Italian food afterwards. I cannot even IMAGINE taking out a loan- debt stresses me out SO much (I don’t even have a credit card) and it’s just so not worth it.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t take out a loan for a wedding but that’s just me. It’s one day out of the rest of your lives and you can’t bank on making it all back.
Post # 10
Just think of what you’d write on the thank you notes… “Thank you Aunt Betty for your generous gift. Mr. Bunny and I will use it to help pay off our wedding loan!”
Post # 11
Yeah, ditto pps, I don’t think taking out a loan is a good idea…I’m not sure if you have any student loans now, but I do and just paying for those is hard enough–and at least I knew those were for a necessary cause: my education. I think if I had to make a payment for a wedding loan every month, I would start to feel really angry at myself for deciding to throw a bigger party than we could afford.
As for depending on cash as gifts for the wedding, I don’t know what’s customary in your circle. If you know that most people give cash, then chances are, that’s what you’re going to get. But I would rather throw a wedding we can afford, and then just have extra cash after the wedding from the gifts, instead of having to use it to pay off the loan.
Post # 12
I would NOT recommend taking out a loan for your wedding. Do you really want to START your married life in debt? Debt = Stress. If you can’t afford the type of wedding you want now, what is important is that you love each other, and if you need to wait a year to get married to save up, then it will make it meaningful. I would also not recommend counting on monetary gifts at your wedding at all – don’t spend money that you don’t have. That’s just my two cents.
There are plenty of ways to have a classy, understated wedding on a budget. Reduce the amount of flowers, have your wedding on a Friday or Sunday, DIY, look to friends and family with talent…there are endless ways to save money on a wedding. Here’s a great article for that:
Post # 13
Are a lot of your guests rich and/or really good friends of yours? If you have any guests who are struggling financially or who are still students or who are putting their kids through college or who aren’t necessarily really close friends with you, you may want to lower your expectations on gifts. I would actually expect $20 gifts from some people if I were you. I’m a grad student, and I can’t afford to spend lavishly on people, especially if I’m also attending the engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party– If I spent $100 at each event, I wouldn’t have enough money to pay my rent! 🙁
Just make sure that if you do expect cash in addition to gifts from people, you don’t hold it against them if/when they can’t give you that much… It’s not their job to make sure the party can be paid for. And even if you do make up the money you take out as a loan in presents, that doesn’t translate into actual money with which you could pay back a loan, unless you really do get a whole bunch of cash from them as well. Especially in these economic times, you might want to lower your expectations a bit just in case… And then if it does work out, you’ll be pleasantly surprised! 🙂 Best of luck to you!
Post # 14
Don’t do it. It’s not worth it at all – it’s stressful and you still have to pay the money back, probably with interest. Also, like the others said, don’t count on people give you a certain amount its a mere expectation and in this economy, it might be difficult.
I completely understand its difficult to pay for a wedding, but personally, I think a wedding that is within your means is more meaningful and fun to plan, than a lavish one where you owe a lot of money for afterwards. It’s only one day and if people are gonna judge you on your wedding day, then they shouldn’t be there to begin with!
Post # 15
I agree ~ don’t finance your wedding with a loan. Soon enough you’ll be wanting that money for other things: a home, babies, vacations, school, etc. I predict that you’ll be mad at yourself for going into debt for a party – esp. if those other things are not available to you because you’re already in debt. It’s an important day, but it doesn’t have to be extraordinarily expensive. Maybe have something simple now, and plan an extravagant blow-out for your 5 year anniversary?
Post # 16
Hm. My first reaction from reading the title was “absolutely don’t take out a loan for your wedding.” And I still think that, but I do know what you’re saying. My family tends to give $75-100 per person ($150-200 per couple) for wedding gifts, so I kind of understand that you’re expecting to get a lot of money from the wedding itself. While it is by no means necessary for them to give that amount, that’s what customary in my family, so it is “expected.” Wouldn’t you rather have that money to use for your honeymoon or put a down payment on a house or to save? I would say to scale back the wedding as much as you can to keep it within what you can afford and use a loan as an absolute last resort.