(Closed) Loan repayment from ex

posted 4 years ago in Finances
Post # 16
6199 posts
Bee Keeper

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bluesun100 :  He needs to save that email. And get an attorneys input. They likely won’t take the case if there’s little recourse because they want to be paid. So therefore, its worth it to get a consult. Who knows maybe he can pay for a strongly worded letter and that well kick her ass into gear on repayment. 

Post # 17
5775 posts
Bee Keeper

There’s a reason even Judge Judy doesn’t get mixed up in the murky waters of finances between two people that occurred while they were a couple. I’m sure that your fiance was thinking of their mutual future at the time and thought he was saving them both high interest. Their relationship didn’t work out as intended and now his generosity toward her/ practical plans for their future is now viewed by him as a loss. And it does indeed seem like he invested a fair bit of money into the relaitonship at the time.

However, even if she told him she’d pay him back, she has not taken any steps to do so. I wouldn’t advise him to pursue it, he’ll end up paying more in legal fees than he’s likely to recoup from this. I wouldn’t blame him for being mad or disappointed that she has not kept her word, but I think this is one to let go, including you. I’m sensing an undercurrent of resentment from you, either that he did this for her or thinking what the two of you could now use the money for.

Post # 18
1337 posts
Bumble bee

It does sound like at the time he paid, it was a gift. I don’t think you can take that back even if she offered to repay after the fact. When she offered, did he set up a repayment plan? Establish interest owed, have her agree to the terms? Maybe that would change things.

Post # 19
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s gone. She either can’t pay him back or won’t. For your own sanity, I would let it go and move on with your lives. Unless a lawyer had told you otherwise, I don’t think suing her will help. Just call it a day and have her out of your lives for good. 

Post # 21
715 posts
Busy bee

Unfortunately if he didn’t have a contract he’s likely SOL.

E-mails are not legally binding.

It sucks, but such is life.

Post # 23
10305 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

That money is gone.

Post # 24
5775 posts
Bee Keeper

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bluesun100 :  Donating to an animal shelter is an awesome thing to want to do, but unfortunately I think your Fiance would lose more in lawyer’s fees than he’ll get back from his ex to donate.

The thing is, with his ex, this loan is obviously years old if this happened during their relationship and they’ve been apart long enough for her to re-marry and him to get engaged to you. So she’s had lots of time to make some kind of repayment arrangement with him if she was sincere about paying hiim back. So it doesn’t seem like she has any intention….whether this is on her conscience at all or whether she doesn’t consider it, I can’t say of course. But I think you’re right in that it’s more or less a karma thing now. Karma may not even be about money but at having others in her life not taking her at her word if she doesn’t keep her promises.

Post # 25
10047 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I highly doubt one email is going to stand up in court. If it was such a huge deal he should have had something notarized etc.

I’d kiss that money good bye.

Post # 26
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Without any sort of legal document drawn up at the time of the loan being paid, I have doubts whatever she wrote would hold up in court.  I would definitley get legal advice to see what options you have. 

Post # 27
2958 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Sure, it sucks that he is out like 30K but let’s face it, that money was never a loan. He had every intention of marrying her at the time, he can’t just decide that it was actually a loan after the fact just because they didn’t work out. 

Post # 28
177 posts
Blushing bee

He was insane 

Post # 29
14098 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

He’s not seeing that money again.  Sorry.

Post # 30
9262 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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bluesun100 :  “He did it because they were high interest loans and he was trying to save them money in the long run.” — Then it wasn’t a loan. He was reducing what he saw as their shared obligations. It was intended to benefit him. Turned out not to, but that doesn’t change what the original intention was.

He has an email from her saying she would pay him back.” — This doesn’t turn it into a loan. People say they’re going to do all kinds of things. They are only LEGALLY obligated to follow through under very specific circumstances. 

I also have a thing with people not doing what they say they are going to do without explanation.” — Yeah, most people have a thing with that but it’s irrelevent to whether she’s obligated to repay the money or not. I’d be pissed, but getting a lawyer for this is probably a waste of money.

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