Post # 1
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
I am having a wedding out of state and my Maid/Matron of Honor is hosting a bachelorette party in DC where most of my college/hometown friends live. She is only inviting those ladies who are receiving an invite to the wedding.
I have another bmaid who is offering to host a party here in the city we live in for those local friends who can’t make it to DC. However I have a lot of friends here who I am not inviting to the wedding. Can they get an invite to the bachelorette party??
I was once invited to a friends bachelorette party here, but was not invited to her wedding. I didn’t mind though. It was fun to join a part of the festivities.
What does the hive think? I’ve included a poll.
Post # 3
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
I think that if it’s the kind of thing where you’ll be going out for a few drinks, that’s ok. If it’s something where people will bring gifts and talk about the wedding–nope. It really depends on the plans! Good luck!
Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
I wouldn’t invite anyone not invited to the wedding but if that’s a more common thing with your group of friends and nobody cares then go ahead. Here it’s definitely a faux pas.
Post # 5
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
I would bill it more of a “non-wedding” event party to lead up to your big day. Make it sound more casual or as if it’s a celebration with those who can’t come (cause they’re not on the list).
Post # 6
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
I think LaborofLove is right, it depends on the event. I would keep it casual, and just invite them personally, doing a “you know I would love to have you at the wedding, but we had to make some painful limits to our guest list because of the economy (best excuse ever!). I would love to spend some time celebrating with you, though, because you are important to me. I’m having a fun little get together before the wedding for some local ladies, and I would love you to come. No gifts or anything, it is just going to be a fun night out.”
Post # 7
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
Thanks everyone for the opinions! I guess I’ll go back to my gracious host and let her know. If we end up only inviting those who are invited to the wedding, there will only be 4 or 5 of us. It could be a nice girls night out with not such a big crowd! I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂
Post # 8
Member
3761 posts
Honey bee
A couple years ago I played volleyball with a friend. We played on the team together but weren’t really friends outside of that. She just nicely explained that the wedding list itself was tight but she would love for any of us to come out and party and celebrate with her (she requested no gifts). It was a great way for all of us that weren’t really that close to her, but still loved her dearly celebrate her marriage and to partake in a fun girls weekend.
In the end she called me the week before the wedding and appologized that the list was tight and I did not get an invitation, but some space had cleared up and I could attend the wedding if I wanted to. I ended up going with some other mutual friends that we had it was wierd at all, it was a blast.
Now that friend is my Maid/Matron of Honor, I am really glad she called and invited me to her wedding even though I was probably on the “D” list at the time!
Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
Wow @caszos! From the D to the A!! That must have been a good wedding 🙂
You guys all have great comments! Thanks so much!
Who I’d really like to hear from are those who are voting “No” on the poll. Have you been in that position? Did you feel uncomfortable?
Post # 10
Member
47 posts
Newbee