Post # 1
Heavy on my mind is the wedding location. Where, where, where????
There are three ideas on the table that carry quite a bit of weight, all of which come with their individual pros and cons.
- Northern California Wedding (convenient for planning as both the groom and I live here. I have some family here and most of our friends are here)
- East Coast Wedding (convenient for grooms family and that’s super duper important to him)
- Tropical Wedding (my dream and incorporates our love of travel but may leave out the people we love most)
This decision is overwhelming and yet it also holds up the planning of the rest of the wedding.
At a crossroad…not sure what to do.
Post # 3
Who has more family attending? We live in Pittsburgh and 90% of my family is around here. His family is so spread out from California to Boston so they are just going to have to travel. Whatever makes you less stressed is what you should choose.
Post # 4
Make lists!! I’m a big fan of the pros and con’s list, especially in this situation. Spend a little time loosely planning a wedding in each location and really write out what the planning would entail and maybe some cost estimates. Definitely make a rough guest list and talk to the people who are most important to you and see their thoughts on if they can afford to travel to the different places. Make sure you and your fiance do this together so that you can come to a decision that makes you both happy for your special day! Good luck planning!
Post # 5
I planned my wedding closer to my family, but if I could do it again I would 100% have it in the town where I live instead. It was really hard for me to make all the trips back and forth to my parents town and try to fit all my vendor appointments into quick weekend trips. It would have been much less stressful to have it here, so my vote for you is to have it in Northern Cali! It’s YOUR wedding afterall.
Post # 6
@Miss Tattoo: His WHOLE family lives in Virgina and thier really not the traveling kind. Having my whole family there isnt as important to me as long as the ones I’m super close to come. My family is spread acorss three states California, New York and Georgia.
If we do it in D.C./Virgina anyone that’s coming from my end will have to fly a distance. Ticket prices aren’t cheap.
My vote we just elope on an island somewhere:) But it’s not his idea of a wedding..
Post # 7
@MrsMcGyro: Makes sense, although I Know so little about planning a wedding so far away. I’ll make sometime this weekend for the two of us and we’ll create these list and hopefully come to a decision.
Post # 8
You have to do what’s going to make you happy. Really. You don’t need to stress about it. Those people who really want to be there will find a way to be there. If it’s more important to him to have his family there than you, then plan in VA/D.C. and give the people you want there as advance notice as you can so they can make arrangements to make it there.
Post # 9
I know destination weddings are popular and some people love them, but I couldn’t imagine doing it myself, so I’m with your fiance on that one!
I would say California just because it would be so much easier for you two (I’m planning mine in a different city and it is a bit of a hassle, but both our parents are there at least). You could always make a trip to the east coast later to have a mini celebration there as a compromise for the people who couldn’t make it.
Post # 10
I would say that unless you are willing to make several trips to the east coast between now and your wedding, you are better off having in California. I am having my wedding 3 hours away in NY because it’s where my parents live and it’s centrally located to all our family members. But, we already made one long trip to meet with several vendors and check out locations, and I think we’ll need to do at least 2 more.
Having a wedding not where you live is more difficult than I thought it would be initially. There will be various details to take care of in person (food tasting/selection, hair/make trials, obtain marriage license, drop off favors/centerpieces/decorations, etc.) Plus I’m kind of jealous of all the people who do a hair and make up trial and then go to their final dress fitting. I’ll need to get my dress fitted here, but hair and make up will be done in NY.
Everything (so far) is do-able, it’s just not as easy as it might have been if it were here.
Post # 11
One of the things I wish I had done differently at the start of our planning was decide to have the wedding where we live (not where my family lives, like we decided to do). It’s been a bit of an expensive nightmare having to book appointments in marathon lists of meetings to get everything done all in a few days so I didn’t have to take more time off work and could return the rental car, yadda, yadda, yadda. I say save your sanity and stay close to where you live.
Post # 12
We’re in a similar situation. We live in Northern California, both our families are from the NY area, and extended family and friends are scattered all over the country, with a concentration in the northeast and a smaller concentration in California. I think we had more pushing us towards an east coast wedding than you did, and as @Pupperoni: suggested, we spent some time looking at our options on both coasts.
In the end, we went northern California and that’s definitely my recommendation. What really pushed us was realizing that every single vacation spent visiting family for over a year would be spent ignoring our family and running off to take care of wedding tasks. There were other benefits as well – we liked our venue options much better out here, and California weather means we can have an outdoor wedding in the summer without having to worry about rain. But what really made the decision was realizing that if we did it here, it would be something we could plan in our spare time and have some fun doing. If we did it there, we’d have to take wild guesses, outsource to our relatives with very different taste, and spend extra time traveling home only to ditch our family when we got there.
Post # 13
We decided on Miami, FL last night. Still tropical but yet convenient for his family to attend.
Thanks ladies for ALL the feedback and support. More post to come, now that the planning can begin!