Post # 1
First time on here!
Looking for advice on coordinating moving in together after getting married. We get married at the end of April next year (2019). She lives in an apartment and her lease doesn’t end until the 1st of June (so pretty much a month after the wedding). I currently live at home with my parents but am really ready to move out. We can’t live together “just because” unfortunately. One of those things that would cause her to lose her parents’ respect — different conversation.
Anyway, the original idea was that I would move out the first of January 2019 and move into a place that’s big enough for the two of us on a 15 month lease so that after we’re married, she can just move into that place and it would be our first place together. However, in the Dallas area, there’s not really any apartments in the locations that we want that are both big enough for 2 people and likely 2 dogs, as well as affordable for just myself for 4-5 months (since she’ll be in her own apartment leading up to the wedding).
Now the idea is that I just sign a 5 month lease or something, possibly in her same complex, and then once we’re married, we move to a place that’s big enough for the two of us and is affordable with our combined income.
I know people do this — we’re just having a hard time trying to figure out logistics and stuff so that it all makes sense.
P.S. — Obviously it’s always great to live below your means and me just get a big enough apartment that’s just not in the exact location we want, and save money. But we both lived at our respective parents’ houses for a total of about 2.5 years with very little debt… We’re kind of in the mood the treat ourselves for a little bit and enjoy life 🙂
Post # 2
I would find a place that is big enough in the location you want, and move in it April 1st, with her joining you right after the wedding. If you have been living at your parents and saving money with little debt I would think one month of splurging until her lease it up shouldn’t be a big deal to go ahead and get the place you really want.
Post # 3
I would stay at home with your parents for now and find a bigger place to move into closer to your wedding date.
Post # 4
starfish0116 & therobinsparkles: I do like that idea, but I just don’t want to wait that long to move out… Part of it is that I am ready to move on from living with my parents after spending 4 years in college being independent. But also, my fiance lives downtown which is about 20 minutes away, and she has no visitor parking. On top of that, she works nights in the ER including weekends. We’ve been together over 7 years, 4.5 of which were long distance… Long story short, we don’t get to see each other a lot already; moving out would help that a lot.
Post # 5
Can you find a place to rent together for the beginning of April 2019, but neither of you move in until after the wedding? That gives you both a whole month to get everything set up the way you want it.
If you are still living at home, a few more months (after January) isn’t going to make a big difference. I don’t know what your rental market is like, but there is no landlord in Vancouver who is going to sign anything other than a one year lease. A four or five month lease request would be unheard of.
Post # 6
I would just wait. It’s really not that far away and moving sucks and is expensive. There’s no way I’d willingly move twice in 7 months for no real reason.
Post # 7
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
Yeah can you just tough it out a bit? wedding crap is stressful enough without moving twice.
Get a place in April for you both and she can move in after thr wedding.
Its not just a case of moving twice. thats 2 bonds. 2 phsyical moves. You wont even unpack everything from the first time. Address changes. apartment clean and vacate. omg. And im someone who has moved alot- its a hassle lol
Post # 8
rags2mrs : the logistics of moving in together really aren’t that complicated – you just simply have too many parameters for what you want. And fact is, something gotta give. You have several options:
1) move in together before you’re married
2) wait it out a bit longer at your parents and move in together after the wedding
3) move out now into a “nice” place for the two of you and cough up several months of extra rent
4) move out now into a place you can actually afford but isn’t as nice
What you’re not going to find is a nice place that you can afford and move into now by yourself. So you have to decide what the priority is here – getting out of your parent’s place, getting a nice place, or not pissing of your fiancés parents. Personally, if you’re old enough to get married, then i think you’re also mature enough to make your own decisions about co-habitating. Especially as you’re engaged and not merely dating, it seems very silly to make this harder than it needs to be 🤷🏼♀️
Post # 9
catskillsinjune : The main question of logistics is if I move into an apartment in the middle of December or Jan. 1 for example, and that lease ends right after we get married. A short lease, yes, but it would allow me to move out, be closer to her, and not pay as much. I’m in Dallas and those leases exist. The question mainly is just about how 2 leases ending at the same time and then moving to a new place would work.
Post # 10
There is no way I would consider moving somewhere on your own for only a few months, that sounds like an expensive and logistical nightmare. I say either move into the nice place you will be living in together right now, or wait to move until after the wedding.
Post # 11
Honestly, this is going to be a gigantic pain in the ass to move twice.
If you’re set on your plan, pretty much as soon as the wedding ends you have to jump into packing so that by the time your leases are up and your new lease starts you can throw everything into the new place. Not to mention, you’re going to have to make sure you both deep clean your respective places at the end of your leases. Then you’ll be spending another month getting unpacked and settled into your new place.
You’ll likely have to live out of boxes for a few weeks while you get settled. All in all, you’re adding a lot of stress that doesn’t have to be there. The best plan would be for you to move to the new place a month before her lease ends and get your crap moved in and set up, that way when it comes time for her to move you only have one apartment to clean/pack and only one persons stuff to unpack once you get in.
Post # 12
I’d live with my parents until the wedding, looked for place to live staring in June and lived in her apartment between wedding and the new place. Unless the moves are in different cities etc.
You can look for places and if you found the perfect one the I might be tempted to rent it. Otherwise I’d just wait a few more months.
Post # 13
rags2mrs : “The question mainly is just about how 2 leases ending at the same time and then moving to a new place would work.”
you rent a van, load shit up, and move. what is the logisitical question here…? it seems like having your leases end at the same time is the ideal situation, and not a logisitical problem.
Post # 14
I agree with PP on here. I know that you haven’t moved that much in your life so far, but moving is expensive, stressful and a pain! You’re going to either have to tough it out at your parent’s house or you’re going to have to suck it up and rent a place she can eventually move into. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but trust me, I wouldn’t move twice in a year unless my life depended on it! You definitely don’t want to start out your new marriage stressed out and resentful from moving again! You do have a couple of options: Can you make some arrangements with your parents for a little more privacy at home? Have them go out so you two can have date nights? (maybe buy them some symphony or theatre season tickets to keep them busy). Can she talk with her parents? My brothers and I all felt this same way, that our parents will lose respect, but once we actually talked to them, she told my brother “why doesn’t your fiancee just move in with you? Living in 2 separate apartments doesn’t make any sense”. And they have been more than supportive when the rest of us moved in with bfs/gfs. Maybe now that you’re engaged and almost married they will think differently. Can you move into a new place at the beginning of the year and she pay a little on the lease? It would make it easier for you, and she is investing in your future together. Also, it sounds like you two are pretty young, so I will just throw it out there, it may not be super glamorous, but living below your means is a great habit to get into. If you two can fit into an apartment that just you can afford by yourself, then you can save a lot more for travel, a house, emergencies, etc. You have time, so take your time and look for a nice apartment that you can comfortably afford on your own, then you can live there until she moves in. It may not be the biggest/best place, but you guys will get to do a lot more!
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK
From a logistics POV it doesn’t matter where you’re living. If you aren’t living in her apartment, then you’re always going to be moving from two properties to one. Unless you both have a massive amount of stuff, then it’s a simple job of hiring a van and moving one person then the other.
From a financial POV, it would make far more sense to live at your parents. People often argue that renting is just lining somebody elses pockets/throwing your money away (we have a bit of a must-own culture in the UK!) and normally I don’t agree but in this case I think it’s probably true.
As somebody who’s about to try and get on the property ladder – whilst renting – I’d definitely appreciate the cheaper living at home costs right about now!
From a stress POV, you have to decide whether the hassle of managing two leases ending, getting deposits back etc, outweighs the negatives you feel about living at home for those months.
Lastly, there’s the feasibility over finding a lease that short (I wouldn’t have thought they’d be that common, and if I were a landlord I’d price a short lease higher than 12+ months). Would it not make more sense to spend 2-3 nights a week at your fiancee’s apartment and suck up the other nights at home?