Post # 1
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I’m getting married in New Husband. My bridesmaids live in New Husband, Philly, DC, and here in PA with me. So obviously the one in New Husband will be there, the one in DC can come up “whenever”, and the one who lives near me is planning to take a whole week to come up to the wedding. My one bridesmaid from Philly is taking one day off from work to drive up for the wedding, is staying two nights, and is leaving.
So, I’m not thrilled about her attitude toward my wedding. She’s been bitchy, had fits about my “expectations” (which included exchanges like, “Did you see the text I sent with my dress in it?” “Yes.” “What did you think? You didn’t respond.” her response: “You’re being really demanding.” WHAT???), and is staying at the cheapest motel in the area despite being told there were multiple other (just as cheap) options available. Anyway, it’s bothered me, but whatever, it’s not the end of the world.
But now I’m worried she won’t make it in time for the rehearsal dinner and such. And so the question is, how much does that matter? Do we need to do some kind of walk through of the ceremony? If she’s not there, how does that work?
Post # 4
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
I’m kind of in the same boat. I have a bridesmaid who is working out of state at a summer camp. My wedding is on a saturday, and she recently told me that she is going to drive up friday afternoon, then leave sunday morning. I feel like she doesn’t understand her responsibility as a bridesmaid! I need her for more than just being a body to walk down the isle! I plan to talk to her about it soon, although I haven’t figured out exactly how…
Post # 5
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@Cote1590: If our dates were closer together, they could carpool! HA.
I just don’t know if she NEEDS to be there for the rehearsal. Like, we could pretend she’s there, and then just tell her later, right? Or is that ridiculous, and I should put my foot down that she be there earlier? Which costs more for her, and will make me seem like a bridezilla in her opinion.
Post # 6
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
Haha carpooling would’ve been great!
Is it that she CANNOT be there for the rehearsal or just doesn’t want to get to your area that early?
Post # 7
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@peachacid: I don’t think it’s a big deal if she’s not there. All she has to do is walk down the aisle when she is told to go down it and then walk out in line. It’s not too difficult. Plus, even with a rehersal, people forget and mess things up anyways! It sucks she’s being a biatch but it’s her loss ultimately. Have fun and enjoy with the awesome people!
Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
Sucks she has a crappy attitude about the texts and stuff (I wouldn’t worry about where she’s staying though, that’s something that really won’t have an effect on you the day of – and if I were her I wouldn’t be able to take more than a couple of days off either), but she’ll be fine even without the rehersal. I’m presuming she won’t be going down the aisle first since she’s not Maid/Matron of Honor, just tell her where her spot in the line is. I know we drive ourselves crazy organizing and analyzing every last detail…but really, when it comes down to it she is just walking down the aisle, standing in place during the ceremony, then walking back down the aisle after. Pretty simple, you can give her some brief instructions but I doubt they’ll really be necessary
Post # 9
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@Wonderstruck: I’m worrying more cause I’m not planning all the details!!! Like…I don’t freaking KNOW!!! How am I supposed to know what everything will look like until I see it all together on the day of???? *runs around in circles*
Post # 10
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
We didn’t have a rehearsal for our wedding, and it was fine. It’s not rocket science. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Post # 11
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
@peachacid: Aww I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make the panic worse! It will all come together and look great, I promise. There will inevitably be some small glitches but nothing that you’ll even really care about the day of. As far as the ceremony goes…you just need to decide what music you want, and what order you want people to walk in!
Post # 12
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
As long as you keep your Bridesmaid or Best Man updated and make sure she knows who she’s walking ahead/behind of, it should be fine I think! Too bad her attitude sucks though :/
Post # 13
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
It’s really not that complicated what a Bridesmaid or Best Man does during the ceremony. If she misses the rehearsal, another Bridesmaid or Best Man can fill her in on the details in about 15 seconds.
Post # 14
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
It’ll totally be fine! And don’t worry that she’s only coming for two nights–that’s all you really need her for! 🙂
Post # 15
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@Wonderstruck: I have no idea what to do about music. NO IDEA.
Post # 16
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
Weddings are expensive! I can totally understand why she’s chosen the cheapest option for accom especially if she’s already had to pay for a dress, shoes, hair & makeup, gifts etc. Being a bridesmaid sucks! I don’t think it will matter if she misses the rehearsal dinner, as PPs have said, she just needs to know when to walk & a basic timeline of the day
