- 3 years ago
I need to know if I’m alone in this.
I make significantly more than my finance, two year I was promoted and it placed me into an income bracket that I didn’t think I’d achieve until my late 30s, I know it doesn’t bother him but it’s starting to bother me. With my income, I can manage to spend 20K for a wedding, at first I was ok with that, now the pressure started getting to me when all the expense started to display. Venue, Photographer, flowers, dress, his tux, food, honeymoon, etc… This is expensive and I cannot do all of this by myself and it starting to irk my nerves.
My fiancé and I have been together for 8 years, we met in college. He decided to get a degree and a whole lot of loans in an area that wouldn’t guarantee him a salary that my degree would have. I knew this when we met, I just never realized how difficult it would be for him after college. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fiancé with everything in me but we couldn’t foresee the future. Both our families are in the lower income bracket and have bills of their own, I wouldn’t want to put the burden of helping pay for a wedding on their shoulders. The reason why it took so long for our engagement was because he couldnt afford a ring, I told him I didnt need anything fancy, I’ve never been a fancy person. I actually wanted tatoos instead but hes a lot more traditonal than I am.
I literally won’t have any assistance on this wedding and I am so scared. The funny thing is I really don’t care for a wedding, this is really just for my fiancé and the rest of the family, I’m just going along to make them happy. I’m ok with just going to a courthouse and calling it a day.
I can’t help but feel upset that all of the financial stress and burden is on me. God, I wish he could put more in, I wish he could just help me out a little, but I know he can’t. This wedding planning process is starting to foreshadow our future that all the financial burden will always be on me and I dont know if I’m going to be happy with that. Again, we knew I’d be making more but I never knew he’d be making so much less.
I know it sounds like I’m wining but I’m just really stressed out, the financial burden of the wedding, saving for a house, and planning a future, it’s a lot. I love this man so much and I don’t want my emotions to hurt him or make me resent him.