Post # 1
Hello dear bees,
I’m feeling a bit lonely and am wondering if anyone has experience this. Prior to meeting my fantastic fiance, I was always the “boy crazy” one of the group. The one who had funny stories, who was alwaysss down for a great night of dancing with my girls, and who could gossip endlessly about men. I had a blast!
After meeting my fiance and getting engaged, I not only don’t have that much in common with my (many) girl friends, but I also am having a hard time not talking like we used to. I wouldn’t change anything for the world, but as someone who has been boy crazy my whole life, it’s hard to transition and talk and relate to other boy crazy females.
On top of that, I am by far the youngest of my friends to get married (24). I just am feeling lonely, living with my fiance makes it hard for me to have time to buil girl friendships, especially when I do love being with him. I also just feel like now i can’t talk and relate on “single girl stuff.”
I feel pretty lonely-no close friends in my area, all my bm out of town, so for me to make new friends in this area is hard without diong “single girl stuff”
anyways-just wanted to know if anyone felt like they lost friends/things to talk about…and how you dealt with it?
Post # 3
I’m right with you! When I was younger I was the boy crazy party crazy girl with a bunch of friends. Then when I was 26 I moved to NYC on my own without knowing anyone. The 2nd day in NYC I met my now fiance. We’ve been inseparable ever since. I’m 32 now. Lets just say I have’t really met any close female friends while I’ve lived in NYC. It’s really hard! Especially when you don’t have that boy crazy stuff to bond over. So, I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone!
Post # 4
@dancingfox: thanks hun! It feels good to know i’m not alone, and that its hard or us boy crazy girls to bond over other things (when the majority of our lives its been about boys) i wish you luck thanks for your response!
Post # 5
I can definitely relate to the lonely feeling. I wasn’t necessarily the boy crazy one, but always the one in a relationship when it came to my group of friends (I’ve been dating my fiance for 8 years now and I’m 23). They’re the ones who are still out doing single things and I came to the realization that while we’re still friends, we have less of a lifestyle in common now. I agree with you and wouldn’t change a thing about my situation. I think the thing that makes me feel better is knowing that it’s just a change in the stages of my life and eventually I will find more friends I can relate to in my married life. I’m just trying to focus more of my energy on enjoying being engaged and building up to our married life. I’ve never been good with change, but here’s to the best of luck for us!
Post # 6
You could just spend more time listening to their stories and plotting fun antics for their lives 🙂 I love to hear my friends’ fun stories, even though my life is different.
Plus sometimes I tell an “oldie but a goodie” from my past that their present situation reminds me about.
I wouldn’t say my life is boring now and I never have any stories to tell, especially about other aspects of my life (friends, family, work, activism, volunteering, hobbies, etc) but sometimes it’s one of those “no news is good news” things about the relationship. But really it’s not like other people get bored of hearing themselves talk, as long as you’re a good and active listener 🙂
Post # 7
Yeah, all of my girlfriends are single except one. She’s married. When I want girl time, we go shopping together because our boys hate shopping and we love it and we talk about our lives and all the things that come after the boy-crazy faze.
See if you can find some couple friends. Friends that will be good to hang out with or without you SO.
If you haven’t seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother where Lily and Marshall go looking for couple friends, you should watch it. It describes how we married/engaged/ commited people feel.
Post # 8
@JackiBean: I love HIMYM! That is such a relatable episode 🙂