Lonely bride. Any tips for shopping a wedding dress alone?

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

I’m shopping for my wedding dress alone as my family is in a different country too. I have maybe some friends here but they’re not close enough for me to want to take dress shopping. Also the Fiance is very busy at work so I do it myself. I actually prefer doing it myself because I can really listen to my heart without distractions about other people’s opnions so I know that I’ll choose a dress I truly love for myself at the end of the day. I get the lonely feeling though.. especially when you’re trying dresses alone and other people come in for appointments in large groups.. but it is what it is and I try to just make the most out of it. 

Post # 3
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Go with your Fiance and have him go set up a restaurant date while you’re trying them on. Gather a bunch of possibilities beforehand, try them all on in store to get a feeling for size and style for all the brands you’re considering. Have the consultant take pictures for your mom and Future Mother-In-Law and sisters. Then go to lunch or dinner with your Fiance and deliberate your top choices over email with all your ladies. Then you can order your dress online, have input from people you care about to help, and having made it also be a date day, it will be a special day. 

Post # 4
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee

I went shopping by myself first. Then when I had narrowed down what I was looking for, I asked the shop if I could Skype my sister in at the next appointment. Could you try something like that with your mom and/or sisters?

Post # 5
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’d suggest when you are with your Future Mother-In-Law or your mother or one of your sisters you go to a bridal shop there just to try on several dresses, to see what style you like and what suits you.

Then, back home, you can look for a similar dress online. Thus, you get the dress shopping experience and don’t have to worry about transporting a wedding dress back and forth.

My mum was also not there when I bought my dress and I have no siblings. But I went to a few bridal shops with her, so we could see what looked nice on me and what those dresses would probably cost etc.

Post # 6
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I was in a similar situation with you. My family and friends live in a different country but we live in the same city with my SIL. She was the only one who came to the dress shopping with me. 

Online shopping can be very tricky. Some gowns look really nice on the web but when you actually see them you may not like the material or the cut etc. 

What I did was opening a whatzapp group chat with my girlfriends. I took pics of all the gowns that I tried and we discussed them on the group. 

Post # 7
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

It’ll be okay. Just know that it’s just a dress and while we make a big deal about it, it’s not the end of the world to not share it with the important people in your life.i went solo dress shopping the first 2 times because it was convenient. Dress shopping was a lot more fun then I expected. I’ve lost 100 pounds over the last 2 years and I’m pretty happy with how all the dresses looked on me lol.

In any case, I have a couple of sisters who have busy lives in other states and so they weren’t able to go dress shopping with me. I did Marco Polo. It allowed me to video the dresses I tried on do I could look back at them later outside of the heat of the moment. Plus it allowed me to share the experience with my sisters, mom, grandma, aunts, fmil, fsil, etc without them needing to be available at a specific time. They can watch the video whenever they get around to it.  One sister watched it as I was recording, but the others commented once they had a chance to view it. 

Allthe consultants we’re super helpful and I’m sure they would be fine with helping you share the experience with home. You could even bring in one of these tripods with the phone holder and use that so no one else needs to hold the phone while you’re recording.

Good luck, I hope you really enjoy the shopping.!

Post # 8
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I ended up going wedding dress shopping alone after my bridesmaids sort of pressured me to say yes to a dress that I really really liked, but not loved. My experience going alone was amazing- I think all brides should go at least once to try on dresses alone and not worry about any one else’s opinion. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll be stunning.

Also, I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about Cocomelody. I was actually going to have them customize a dress for me if I couldnt find exactly what I wanted. I am still going to order my veil and headpiece from them.

Post # 9
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It took me several months to find my dress, and I went alone and with others. I will say some of my favorite outings were when I was alone. While it looks really cool on Facebook/Instagram when people post their “I said yes to the dress!” pictures, the reality of shopping with others is that you get a lot of both welcome and unsolicited opinions. The cool thing about going alone is that you can get a feel for how YOU feel about a particular dress without anyone else’s opinion clouding your judgment. You can also have the person helping you take pictures if you want opinions before ordering. I know you feel sad about the situation, but since it doesn’t seem like you have many options, I’m just trying to present the positives of shopping alone. For me, it was much more relaxing and calm. Going with a large party is kind of overrated. I really do not recommend shopping online. Dresses can and do look very different on as opposed to in a picture. You may get something you don’t like. A lot of girls end up getting a very different style than they originally planned for that exact reason. As for waiting a few months to shop with your future family- when is your wedding date? Depending on how far out it is (or close) you may not want to hold off on ordering. Also, think about the logistics of ording it in one country and then having it shipped to you for alterations. When you order locally, if there are any issues with the dress that comes in, you can address it with the shop in person. That will be a little more complicated if you order a dress in a country you don’t live. Not trying to be negative, just some things to think about. 

Perhaps since your mom can’t be there for the dress portion, maybe think of things you can do with her from long distance. Such as finding a good website for invitations (Minted is really good), and perhaps create a Pinterest account you both can pin ideas to. Get her opinion on flowers and decorations. There are a ton of little things you can plan with your mom to include her. Perhaps you could even look up pictures of wedding dresses with her. I’m currently overseas right now and my wedding will be back at home. I’ll be traveling back at some point, so I’m kind of right there with you on some of this. Just try to focus on the positive, and you can still have your fun wedding experience 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
971 posts
Busy bee

Where are you getting married? How long will you be with your family before the big day? Can you just wait until eight before the wedding to get your dress?

We planned our entire wedding in 6 days and because of that I was able to pick out a dress with my mom- we just had to buy off the rack which ended up working out great. 

I think it’s a particularly lonely thing to have to plan a wedding without family, when weddings are so much about love and togetherness. I’m not surprised you’re feeling meh about wedding planning alone- it’s certainly not ideal. So I definitely recommend you do as much planning last minute as you can. 

Post # 11
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Wait and see if you can shop with your Future Mother-In-Law. I know you don’t want your mom to be sad, but think about it like this, no matter what option you choose, you won’t be shopping with your mom. So, why suffer and shop alone, when you can shop with your FMIL? You want to enjoy this experience, and you should! No matter what you do, your mom won’t be with you. So, move past that, and plan on skyping her in your dress after you buy it to show it to her. Or even take pics of all the dress you try and send it to her later, when she’s awake (due to time difference), so she can be a part of it. Maybe do a group text with your mom and sisters to show the different dresses you try, and then skype them individually to show the dress you pick. I bet your mom would rather you be able to have someone to shop with, than have to go it alone.

Post # 12
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

OP, since you have such a good relationship with your family and FI’s family (and, bonus, the families have a good relationship with each other), I see no problem shopping with your Future Mother-In-Law. Wouldn’t your mom be happier knowing you are shopping with her rather than alone? I get that your mom is sad, but there’s really nothing you can do about it except to include them as much as is practical and possible. If I were your mom, I would stop focusing on my own sadness and encourage my daughter to have a good experience without me there.

Post # 13
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

ladylilypad :  i shopped alone but asked the ladies in the bridal shops to help me take photos. I’ve got few closer friends, all in different countries, so I sent them the ones I liked to them via WhatsApp for their opinions. Accidentally showed my fiancé some of them, the girlfriends told me not to do that anymore. My family isn’t expressing excitement about my wedding so there’s not much point to show my mother only to be told I look ugly etc. FYI, I’m from country A, met fiancé from country B, will be moving to country C. Fiancé is from B, but we will have our wedding not in his hometown but in the city we met. I did choose to shop alone though. I didn’t find a dress I love but a style I’m happy with. Then I proceed to buy a pre-owned dress online, the style I know I’ll look great in. I’ll personalise the dress when it arrives.

Post # 14
Member
5842 posts
Bee Keeper

I know what it’s like to have LD loved ones and to miss them between visits….

I also know that, as a mom, yes I would be sad not to shop for your dress with you- but I would love you enough to want you to shop with your Future Mother-In-Law and make it into a happy occasion rather than go sadly by yourself because you worry that shopping with your Future Mother-In-Law will make me feel left out. I’d wish I could be with you, whether you went alone or with Future Mother-In-Law or with someone else BUT I’d be happy you had a nice enough relationship with your Future Mother-In-Law that she could do this with you. 

Could you Skype/ look online with your mom and your sisters to get ideas etc and then when you guys go to your fiance’s home country, you and Future Mother-In-Law could go look at dresses/ possibly buy then meet up with your Fiance afterward for lunch? 

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