(Closed) Lonely bride

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I can totally relate, my BMs are very busy with life, business, and children that other than the FH, I am on my own pretty much even family lives far away.  I suggest that yoiu start a Bridesmaid or Best Man newsletter, it will help you to write it and help them see what is going on and help to start a dialoge about it.  There are some really great templates in the DIY section, and if you can’t find one you like, PM and I will send a few along.

Post # 4
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i think its quite common, especially the older we get, and things just get more complicated and busier the older we get.  Basically, life itself gets busy. Dont take it personal.  I have local bridesmaids and I didnt have them with me when I went dress shopping, so instead I took my parents.  I did feel sad about it, especially when I feel like they could have made time for me as I am flexible with my schedule and tried to work around theirs…Anyways, I learned that Im not going to be upset because I have to realize things arent always going to be easy.. When i need help with wedding planning, its mostly always been Fiance who helps. Its kind of depressing for me too, but everyones so busy all the time that i’ve gotten used to and dependent on Fiance almost everything! Hope you feel better knowing that you’re not alone.

 

Post # 5
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yup, I know exactly how you feel. Im not from the area I live in, so I don’t have any friends yet. And no sisters, so it’s been just me planning our wedding. Fiance has a sister, but she lives in another country so even if she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor, she couldn’t help do anything.

 

That’s why I love the Bee!

Post # 6
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know exactly how you feel, all my bm and my moh are in another state, so i can relate to you and it does get lonely not having soembody to share it with..i do with some of my friends but not often. Just to make u feel a little better i am having bm drama. 2 of my bm have not ordered their dresses and i keep texting and calling and no response back…which is honestly pissing me off just wnat to write them off but i am still waiting for them to surprise me and say hey we got the dresses,,,,

Post # 7
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Awww, I agree. I have one Bridesmaid or Best Man here and the rest are out of town…boo :/

Sometimes it feels like no one cares, and that’s when having friends in the Hive helps so much! And I booked a trip to see my Maid/Matron of Honor in a few weeks to connect and have one-on-one time. We both plan on it being a wedding planning weekend, and that has helped my excitement.

* HUGS and LOVE *

Post # 9
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@apricotgirl: I can definitely relate. My Maid/Matron of Honor lives in DE and I’m in MD (only 1hr difference). She just bought a house and has her daughter and is busy with work. My BMs are my sister and best friend since 2nd grade. My sister is busy with my 4 nephews and the other girl is pregnant with her 2nd kid. Sometimes I feel like I’m bothering them to discuss the wedding and it is always an ordeal to try to get everyone together at the same time to get things done.

My Bridesmaid or Best Man that is pregnant, they are already having money problems so I keep asking her if she still wants to be in the wedding because I dont want to add to their stress. I offered to pay for half of the dress but what about her shoes and accessories and hair/makeup.

I feel like as I’ve gotten older, I have lost touch with a lot of people and/or everyone is just too busy. If my one Bridesmaid or Best Man backs out, then I dont even know who I’d ask to be in the wedding. It is all so stressful.

Post # 10
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hear you!  Hopefully things will start to settle soon for you.  I know at the beginning I was stressing hardcore, but now I’ve decided I had to relax before I go completely silver (which for some reason my Fiance loves… I do not. It’s costing me mega $$ to get the ‘silvers’ covered up! lol!) In the end things will work out!!  My Fiance and I have labeled our wedding the ‘Pregnancy Wedding’.  Not our own, but we have worked around everyone else’s.  My Maid/Matron of Honor will be 8months+ (she planned it that way- no joke.) pregnant and I had one bridesmaid cancel because she is due the next week (not planned) and can’t fly out… ๐Ÿ™  Our best friends are due the next week (no clue if it was planned)… but wait we couldn’t have it the month before because my FI’s cousin was due and can’t fly with a newborn.  In the end we have decided we can’t worry about anyone else anymore… we have officially taken the stand – It’s our day!! ๐Ÿ™‚  Make it YOUR DAY!!! 

 

(ok i’m done ranting… lol!!!)

Post # 11
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

no joke.. just got news that another one of our friends is pregnant. See… our wedding is making everyone pregnant! Should have sent out Save the Date condoms…. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m right there with ya. One of my bridesmaids got pregnant about 4 months ago and another one is trying, so they’re more focused on babies than anything else. Wedding planning is old news to them, so in turn… I feel like I don’t mean much to them either. That’s when I’m feeling sorry for myself, but then I do have to give myself a reality check and remember that people get excited about things they relate to at the current moment.

The other four are definitely caring and they’ll listen to me if I call them up with some exciting updates on my wedding, but for the most part I feel like they want to put the phone on speaker and walk over to the fridge to look for an afternoon snack.

Post # 13
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I understand in some ways. Most of my BMs are Out of Town. The only two who are in town are my FI’s SILs… and I just moved “in town” so it’s kind of late for that. Anyway, I e-mail, text, call and rarely get answers from a few chosen BMs. I understand they’re busy, but 3 weeks later… and you still can’t tell me what day works best for you?! You’ve got to be kidding me!

Like you, I chose my BMs based on relationship. I don’t regret choosing any of them… I just wish I didn’t have to wait for them to respond so I can resume with planning. It’s been very frustrating, but I still want them to stand with me on my wedding day! I can’t wait ๐Ÿ™‚

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