(Closed) Lonely Girls Club: Mean Girls

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Legallyblondiebride: omg that was so long – you’re such a trooper for getting through it! lol

thank you, i only posted a taste of how narcissistic she is – her history of being self-involved is definitely a long one. Mama always knows best and if she agrees then I know I did the right thing!

Post # 19
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: I read your last thread and this one as well and I just wanted to say that I can totally relate with you.  I have had about 10 years of bad luck when it comes to friends, having literally lost all of the new “best” friends I made after college to stupid avoidable drama.  And you know what I think of that….GOOD RIDDENS!  Even though it hurt at first and I was terribly depressed and lonely, I realized with time that those people were never really friends to begin with.  Many of them put me in awkward or downright dangerous situations, made me feel bad about myself or made me doubt who I was.  And they all seemed to apply to the “double standard” idea of “I can be a jerk and you have to forgive me but if you step even a toe out of line we will torture you and make you feel like garbage”.  Well BUMP THAT!  I can do bad all by myself.  I may not have many friends but I DO have my sanity and my self-esteem.  I spend quality time with ME doing the things I like to do and not doing things to please other people or to just not be alone.  Plus, I’m marrying my best friend so it’s all good.

I commend you for reaching out to your friend, but will say that next time you should trust your gut.  I find that usually people are “exes” for a reason.  That being said, I’m always around if you ever want to chat. Smile

Post # 20
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry that happened to you. I totally sympathized with you post yesterday as I too have had trouble making and keeping close girlfriends.

Sadly, it’s clear this women isn’t interested in being your friend and I think its smart that you are not returning her email. She clearly has some issues of her own if she feels the need to tear you down when you were just reaching out an olive branch.

I have a similar story with a best friend in high school. We had known each other since grade school through the sport we were involved with. We were really close my last two years of high school. She was a year younger then me, so when I went to college she was still in high school. I went far away to school and was homesick for my friends. I would call her, she would never call me back. We finally fought about why she was avoiding me (she said she was busy) and stopped speaking. My sophomore year of college I was home on a break and decided I needed to repair this friendship so I drove out to her university a few hours from our hometown. We talked, and I thought things were going in the direction of being better, but again, she didn’t keep in touch at all. I gave up as the friendship was clearly onesided. A year later I was living back in our home state with a guy who also knew her. He knew I was sad over the loss of the friendship (we had been really close and friends for a long time) so he reached out and contacted her. We talked and she told me she has enough friends already and doesn’t have time in life for anymore friends. Really?? Who can’t use another friend?? Anyway, that hurt me a lot and that was the last time I spoke to her. We have some mutual friends on facebook, but I’ve been to burned to reach out again.

Sorry that was so long.

Post # 22
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

It really sounds like you are the better person here.  Don’t let your self get stressed out over people like that, it can really make things difficult for you (I’ve been there).

I know it is really difficult to do, but I think moving on is the best thing right now.

Post # 23
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

@Legallyblondiebride: I’m sorry that you put yourself out there and she retaliated with snark and immaturity. I think it’s smart for you not to respond to her. As much as you sooooo want to. Maybe you could write a letter with everything you’d want to say to her and then shred or burn it so that you don’t actually send it. It will be good to get everything out that you want to say to her, but she won’t ever get it, and you don’t have to deal with her retaliating. 

I recently wen through something similar where the other party had to have the last word. I’ve let it go…you have to or you’ll just keep going back and forth until the “last worder” gets that last remark in. There’s just no getting through to your friend, so let it go and know that you did everything you could to mend the friendship.

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