(Closed) Lonely military SO

posted 4 years ago in Military
Post # 2
477 posts
Helper bee


I completely understand how you feel. I’m also a military SO and I moved over 2,000 miles away to be with my SO. The first year was incredibly lonely and difficult, even though I have a good job and am generally a career-oriented person as well. My SO has been deployed and spends on average about a third to half of each year away ever since he enlisted. It sometimes can take a painfully long time, but you can and will make some new friends. 

If you had any hobbies or activities that you enjoyed back home, look for places/groups to do them socially in your new city. It’s a good way to keep busy and meet people. I also really recommend trying out some new hobbies – maybe a sport you’ve always been interested in, or learn an instrument, or join a book club, anything new. It’s a great time for you to explore your own interests and grow as an individual. The homesickness gets better too, you will adjust. It’s not easy but you have to stay strong. I believe in you, bee!

There are a lot of Facebook groups for SOs in different branches, but be careful not to create fraternization issues for your SO down the line through your personal relationships with online milsos (i.e. your SO is enlisted and you become bffs with an officer’s wife, no double dates or movie nights for you guys). Honestly though, my best advice is to call the people you love back home for when it gets rough. Your friends & family can give you a level of comfort and assurance that strangers on the internet cannot. You will also meet other milsos and you may find that you click with some of them, and they will understand exactly what you’re going through.

I send you my best wishes, and courage to get through a difficult adjustment. It does truly get better, and it’s up to you to make the most of your new life and opportunities.

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