Post # 1
My fiancee and I are having some disagreements on how we should plan out our wedding. Along with that, we have some different opinions from other family members. As of right now, this would be the plan for the wedding. Have a ceremony at around 1 followed by a stand-up dessert reception till about 3:30, with about 150-200 people. Then thinking about leaving the guests on their own until about 7:30-8:00 where we have a dance with some finger foods. In the time in between I would like to have pictures done as well as intimate dinner with immediate family. We both like the idea right now, the only problem being that my fiance thinks that it is kind of rude to leave people for so long without actually feeding them a real meal. Any advice would be great.
Post # 3
I agree with your fiancé, I think it’s rude to your guests. It’s very similar to a tiered reception, which I think is unfair. The issues I see with are – 1) I think it’s odd to have a dessert reception in mid afternoon and then expect guests to find their own dinner. If I just ate a bunch of cake and dessert, I wouldn’t be hungry for dinner, so what would I do during the gap? 2)that gap is HUGE. Even if I did go to dinner, it wouldn’t take 4 hrs. 3) I would probably not return for the second part of the reception. 4) by doing desserts and finger foods, you can’t be saving much that money, so why not just do an appetizer reception after the ceremony and incorporate the desserts there. 5) if I am hanging around from 1 pm to 9-10 pm, I am going to be really disgruntled with just finger food and dessert. That’s a long day without sufficiently feeding your guests.
If you must do it this way, I would do a cocktail hr with finger foods after the reception, you and your fi can get your pictures, then return for an appetizer and dessert reception ending around 7. THEN you can do the intimate dinner with your immediate family.
Post # 4
I think this would totally suck for your guests. I once went to a wedding where there was a 2 hour gap between wedding and reception (but they did feed us dinner at the reception)…and even THAT was no fun. I was lucky in that a good friend of mine lived very close by so I was able to go spend some time with her, but for other people it was a huge inconvenience.
Where do you your out of town guests go? Do they sit around in their fancy clothes or do they change, and then have to get re-dressed up all over again?
I agree with @Krises that you should probably alter the schedule of your day. Another friend of mine had the ceremony, followed by a dessert/hors d’oeuvres reception, and then had the intimate dinner later, and that seemed to work well.
Post # 6
I’m really sorry, because I can tell you’re so keen on it; but I have to agree with your fiance as well.
Post # 7
I agree with your Fiance AND think that it’s needlessly complicated.
Post # 8
Sorry, but if I was a guest at a wedding like that I’d be pretty peeved. I wouldn’t understand why I was being fed dessert at 3pm without having had a meal (especially since, with your ceremony and morning travel, many people may not even have had a proper lunch).
Then to be left to my own devices in my formalwear for several hours (annoying in and of itself) only to attend a dance with just finger foods and no dinner… no thanks. I think we would go home instead of waiting around for the dancing.
Post # 9
As a guest… this would seriously suck.
All food issues aside (and the food situation is an issue), what are they supposed to do for four hours?
Your ceremony starts at one o’clock. For most weddings that started at that time, you might have older guests that would normally want to be LEAVING around 8:00 or 9:00, but you’re not even starting until then.
I’d be pretty irritated if I was there. :/
Post # 10
To be honest, I wouldn’t go to anything besides the ceremony, especially if I knew about the intimate dinner your are planning.
Post # 11
i agree with your fi. it is a bit rude, especially for those oot guests.
can you have your ceremony later (6-7pm) and then just have a cocktail reception and dance for everyone? or if it’s budget that is limiting your meal options, then have fewer people at the wedding.
you still have time to research all of your options for the day. i know it’s your day but you still need to be considerate of your guests.
Post # 12
1) if you can’t afford to feed 200 guests cut down on the guestlist….
2) the dessert hour is an awful idea….there are guests who CAN’T just eat dessert, some for medical reasons (diabetes, gluten allergies etc) or non medical reasons (my fiance gets super sick if he eats dessert like that)…..AND some people don’t like dessert (I had a barbecue last night and my Future Sister-In-Law brought a cake and NO ONE ate it, it’s still in the fridge and I’m taking it to work tmw to get rid of it since I really don’t want it in the house –I am not eating carbs/gluten right now)
3) the timing is awful for your guests…..and i KNOW a bride who took off and ate dinner with her bridal party and left her guests hanging….they are NOT impressed and needless to say there was quite a rift about it in the families……
Post # 13
Yeah, I forgot to mention that you’re probably going to face a lot of backlash when people discover that you fed your family dinner and left everyone else to wander around for 4 hours.
Post # 14
I totally agree with your Fiance. We would stay for the ceremony and cake and would not return. 11 hours in formal wear without an actual meal is just not a good day. At an hour and half break with food drinks and games and all guests staying on site Im hoping no one gets antsy.
Post # 15
I don’t think I would plan on returning. What about doing photos in the day, having an intimate family only dinner, then a short ceremony at 7:30pm and then a dessert or cocktail reception starting at 8:00? You could still manage to get some lovely photos over dinner and throughout the reception.
Post # 16
Lunch time wedding with only dessert while in theory sounds delish will get you some serious backlash from your guests. If you’d like to do a punch and dessert reception you would need to do it at 3 or 4pm. Tea time. While I think a nice formal dinner with your family is a great idea for the evening, it’s wise not to plan on an evening reception as well. Unless you’re British. I know this type of wedding is perfectly acceptable in the UK. ANYWAY, good luck!