(Closed) Long but advice would be nice… A rare argument with FI

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: So was I a complete butt?
    Yes! Get over it! : (0 votes)
    A little but just apologize and you're alright : (0 votes)
    Not at all : (17 votes)
    74 %
    Not really : (1 votes)
    4 %
    Maybe : (1 votes)
    4 %
    Other : (0 votes)
    I just want to see the results : (4 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d say you were just being logical, because when money is tight, there’s no need to buy a ton of Christmas presents. I bought stuff for my nephew, a couple of gifts for my Darling Husband & I stopped there.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    When my money was really tight, I was extremely stressed. So it sounds to me like he is maybe a little too relaxed..

    Post # 6
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  no, bills and your child come first. yall should be honest with your families. if now isnt a good time to exchange gifts let them know. it is crazy to go into debt over christmas gifts. he needs to get his priorities in order.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @subtlebee:  Yes, you said exactly what I was thinking. Don’t go broke over buying gifts. I’m in between jobs right now, so I spent what we could afford to spend, and that’s that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6210 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    So he just says buy two gifts for everyone even though you really don’t have the money? Not cool

    Post # 10
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Once those packages arrive, I would send them right back and get your money back. There is absolutely no reason to buy Christmas gifts for people if it’s going to cause you to overdraft your account! Everyone is just going to have to understand that you don’t have the money, and you don’t. My Mom sacrificed bills in order to buy stuff for Christmas and I hated it growing up, because a good Christmas meant a car repo and no money for heating oil come February. Stuff isn’t worth ruining your security and causing you unecessary stress. Bake cookies or make jars of homemade cocoa mix or something. Show your appreciation for the people in your life with a heartfelt letter on pretty stationary.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11752 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  you seemed to be logical about the situation.

    Just a piece of advice – can you call the carrier and have them hold the package at the mail facility for you to go pick up?  We’ve done this before when we haven’t been able to be home for deliveries.

    I definitely wouldn’t buy them more gifts just for the sake of giving them a gift. You can kindly explain the situation and give them the gifts when they arrive. If they don’t understand that they’re complete assholes!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @subtlebee:  +1!

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  I would imagine you would worry less if you knew he was taking your financial situation seriously. Also I work for a utility and i would check on whether there is some sort of meter problem if your rates have gone up when you are using less. Or maybe you can check and see if you have some new appliances (or old ones) sucking up power bc they are inefficient?

    Post # 14
    Member
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  I got in a similar argument with my Fiance about christmas.  He keeps wanting to buy random things for his parents but we already got them gifts AND they asked us not to get them presents because we are trying to save for the wedding. Grrrr…. It can be frustrating if you partner doesnt understand finances

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