- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
My Maid/Matron of Honor did not coordinate the bridal shower / bachelorette weekend with any of the bridesmaids. That, coupled with the fact that she didn’t tell the bridesmaids until a month ago, means only two can even make it because all the bridesmaids besides Maid/Matron of Honor have to travel, take time off work, etc. I live in the Pacific Northwest, btw, and my non-local bridesmaids are from Wyoming, New York, and Montana (not too far but still a drive).
Maid/Matron of Honor had no idea where to hold my bridal shower, and didn’t ask anyone else for suggestions, but decided to post an ad on Craigslist asking if she could borrow someone’s kitchen and yard for a day. Because apparently a random stranger’s house from Craigslist is the best solution?? Luckily, a bridesmaid, C, found this out somehow and mediated by suggesting she ask my aunt to use her really beautiful home and yard.
However, because Maid/Matron of Honor had no idea where to hold my shower at the time she was creating invitations, on the invites she put her own address planning to call people and update the address when she found a place to hold the party. C checked on that portion last night. Maid/Matron of Honor hadn’t called anyone to update the address. The shower is Saturday so C started calling people. Did I mention C lives in New York and it was 11pm her time when she started calling everyone?
Now my aunt has been accidentally roped into decorating/setting up because it’s at her house. My aunt called Maid/Matron of Honor to talk logistics and Maid/Matron of Honor has nothing planned. Luckily, aunt has lots of decorations and plans for setting up a cute party. Aunt asked how many people RSVPd. MOH doesn’t know (????). Aunt says she needs to know so they can figure out the seating situation – tables and chairs and centerpieces and stuff. Maid/Matron of Honor says she was thinking everyone can sit on the ground on blankets. There are super super old ladies coming, and it’s going to be 105 degrees. And everyone will be in dresses and heels and so on. Aunt said she will figure out seating.
Maid/Matron of Honor asks C to make bridal shower and bachelorette party favors, and then, bachelorette party decorations. Again, C lives in New York. She has to take all this stuff with her on the plane.
My FI’s stepmom, who we are already on tense terms with, didn’t get an invitation in the mail and heard about the bridal shower from someone else in the family. This isn’t necessarily MOH’s fault. I know things get lost in the mail. But if Maid/Matron of Honor would have called to update the addresses when the address change, she would have realized early on that FI’s stepmom never got an invite. Now FI’s stepmom thinks I purposely didn’t invite her and it’s a fucking shit storm and FI’s dad called and yelled at Fiance and his family is mad at me for “excluding” her. Fiance explained it’s not my fault, that stepmom was on the list and we didn’t send the invites out ourselves, but we have no real way to prove it and it looks so bad on us because things are weird between us and her anyway.
C and her mom are bending over backwards to make sure this goes well. They have ordered cupcakes and decorated cookies from my favorite bakery, are renting sound equipment to play music, have come up with shower games, etc. I feel awful that they are doing everything, especially considering C LIVES IN NEW YORK.
C just got a text message from Maid/Matron of Honor that says: “I’m about to leave for a camping trip for the next two nights. Can you please book the hotel rooms for this weekend? I will get my share of the money to you on Saturday.” C specifically asked Maid/Matron of Honor a week ago if we for sure had hotel rooms for my bachelorette party this weekend and Maid/Matron of Honor said it was taken care of. It isn’t.
I am so sad. I wish people would stop complaining to me about this because there’s nothing I can really do. I can’t micromanage my own party and so I have no idea what’s been planned and what hasn’t. If it weren’t tacky for me to totally take it over and just do it mysef, I would, but I can’t do that! I’m sad that my Maid/Matron of Honor has done nothing and doesn’t even care, to the point that she will go camping last-minute for two days instead of finishing the party she started planning then handed off to everyone else.
I know no one owes me a party. But I’d rather have no party than this half-assed event that is causing drama and hard feelings between my friends and family, but it’s too late now since the parties are Saturday.