Post # 1
I am 23 weeks pregnant and starting to think about the things we will need for baby. It’s my second and my son was born at 31 weeks so I didn’t have a shower or anything for him- he will also be six when baby comes so it’s a bit like starting over again. I was overseas when I had my son and am now as well as we have to be for our jobs, so my question is…is it gauche to send a baby shower registry link to family back in the US? I’m not sure if I will have an actual shower where I am or not and several extended family members have mentioned getting us something for the baby, but I don’t want to be rude or presumptive by sending them a list. On the other hand, I also don’t want them to send a bunch of random stuff that we don’t really want or need. Any opinions would be much appreciated!
Post # 2
Most people are probably going to say you shouldn’t send your registry link and that it’s “gift grabby.” As for me, I think that if they have personally expressed an interest in giving a gift to the baby that it’s fine to send them your registry link. I wouldn’t send it to anyone who hasn’t expressed an interest because that would be presumptuous.
Post # 3
That sounds very gift-grabby to me. They won’t be attending anything so you’re just asking them to buy you things.
ETA: I didn’t read the part about people telling you that they wanted to get you anything. Can you give someone (like your mom) the link to your registry and she can pass it along to them without you looking too gift-grabby?
Post # 4
Mentioning that they want to get somethng for the baby, is not the same as asking what you want or need, or asking if you have a registy. If they do either of the latter, you can forward your registry. If not, I would do nothing. People often say they would like to do something, but a prod from you to follow through would be excessive.
Post # 5
If they ask for ideas for what they can give you then sure, send the registry. Other than that..no.
Post # 6
beeoverseas : There is no actual baby shower long distance or otherwise….So what a few extended family members mentioned in passing possibly getting you something? They may follow through or they may not (chances are not, since you’re so far away) It would be very tacky for you to send them a list of items you want without them actually requesting it!! Even though you could use/want gifts, don’t do it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
I would have a link ready and just send it to anyone who asks
Post # 8
- Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria
I think it would be appropriate to send the registry link if they specifically ask what you guys might want/need for the baby. Otherwise I don’t know if it would be well received if you send a list/registry. FWIW, I had a cousin send me a list of “approved” presents and the specific sites they buy from for their daughter’s upcoming birthday – I was always going to buy her something but I didn’t ask for the list and I was a bit ticked off that I was basically being told what to buy and where from.
Post # 9
I think proactively sending the link out to people unrequested is inappropriate, but if someone asks where you are registered, it’s fine to share in that situation.
Post # 10
beeoverseas : My view is don’t send the link unless they ask you if there is one.
Post # 11
I agree with everyone that said to send a link of people ask for ideas or ask to send something you need. I have a registry for baby number two and a lot of people have said they want to get a gift or that I should have a shower but I’m not super comfortable with a second shower. It might only be my mom I end up sending the registry too. Or I might just make it public but not send it out to anyone and then if people look for a registry they can find it themselves.
eta – in case it isn’t clear the main purpose of the registry is a list for myself.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2025 - City, State
Showers are “welcome to motherhood”, not “welcome baby”. Your opportunity to have one has come and passed.
It’s okay to create a (small, reasonable) registry and pass the link along to anyone who expresses a desire to buy a gift and asks what you want/need. Otherwise, providing for your child is your own responsibility.