(Closed) Long distance couple, 2 Wedding Showers a good idea?

posted 4 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think it’s normal for there to be multiple showers, even if both of you are in the same city (work and family, for example). No need to worry!

Post # 3
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

 

If someone on each side offers to host a shower, then yes. To request people to host a shower for you, no.

Post # 4
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

I am not sure from your post, but just FYI you should not be throwing your own shower.  If a friend or family member decides to throw one for you, then great.  But if know one offers, then you don’t get a shower.

So if people in both areas have offered a shower (meaning you would have two showers), it is perfectly fine to accept both.

Post # 5
Member
12801 posts
Honey Beekeeper

As long as there is no overlap on the guest list, except immediate family, there is no problem. Not sure if it applies, but traditional etiquette says that showers should not be thrown by family members and certainly not by the couple themselves. 

Post # 7
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
shalomx7:  The reason why people are shocked, is because what you are wanting to do is incredibly tacky.

You are basically throwing a party as a way to get people to bring you gifts.  No, just no.  Hence why these parties are thrown for you and hosted by people who have volunteered.  It just looks icky and gift grabby to throw it yourself.

Post # 8
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

 

View original reply
shalomx7:  “we also know how we want our parties to be and really don’t trust anyone else to put on a shower”

 

Bridal showers are a gift, not a right. The reason people are “so shocked” is because you’re throwing yourself parties for gifts…for yourselves.

You get to decide how 1 party is and that is your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
12801 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
shalomx7:  People are “shocked” because it’s in extremely poor taste to host a gift giving party for yourselves and frankly, because they think it’s self serving and awful. Unlike a wedding, the entire purpose of a shower is gifts. 

It is disingenous to say that the reason you are doing this is to make it fun for guests. If you really wanted to do that you’d just invite people to a luncheon or a dinner, not make it about yourself. 

Post # 10
Member
2110 posts
Buzzing bee

If people in both areas offer to throw you a shower I say go for it and don’t invite the same guests to both.  Do not host your own shower in either location!  If you want a fun party planned to your specifications that is fun for your friends go for it, any time!  But do not make it a shower (gift giving party).  Lots of people would rather plan their shower themself and get exactly what they want but that isn’t how it works, the host of a party plans the party. 

Post # 13
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
shalomx7:  So becasue I am telling you that what you are wanting to do is tacky and rude (which it is), you think that I am the one being rude?  Um, no.  Disagreeing and giving you advice that you may not like does not equal me being rude.  

Post # 14
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While I agree with PPs about not throwing your own shower, beyond the poor etiquette, have you considered that you might be stepping on toes of people who may want to host a shower for you? (bridal party, MOB, MOG, etc.?)

I’d step carefully if I were you. Showers are gift-based, and it may leave a bad taste in guest’s mouths if they get invites from the bride/groom instead of another host – depending on his family’s traditions, it could leave a bad impression on your FFILs, as well.

Post # 15
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

If you want two celebrations, I think it’s perfectly fine to do so– just call it a party or celebration instead of a shower, and make it something casual. Tell people that you’re hosting a cocktail party or something like that, and plan it for soon before/after you get married. That way you have a fun night to enjoy everyone’s company, without stepping on toes.

The topic ‘Long distance couple, 2 Wedding Showers a good idea?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors