Post # 1
Recently I asked an on-again/off-again friend of was interested in trying out a long distance relationship. He sweetly said “Yes.” But honestly I’m not even great with relationships when the other person lives 5 minutes away, how is 3,000 miles going to work? I have no idea what we’re doing, but I’d like for it to work out. Any tips on getting through the awkward “getting to know each other more” phase of an LDR?
Google is riddled with tips on how to keep it fun and exciting but that’s geared towards established couples and we’re not there yet.
Post # 2
Skype will be your best friend. Is there an end in sight to this LDR or is it indefinite?
Post # 3
To be honest we haven’t even had that discussion yet. For the time being its indefinite.
Post # 4
There needs to be a clear end goal. For example, mine ends when I graduate and we have the wedding. There needs to be a plan. Talk on skype. Text each other throughout the day if you can. Keep in contact pretty regularly. Visit often.
Long distance can be hard, but it’s possible. However, my LDR didn’t begin long distance.
Post # 5
My BF and I are long distance as well.
I agree with the end goal, but you don’t have to set that right away. Take the time to get to know each other first. It started out with facebook messenger every day, then texting (and still FB messenger), and eventually phone calls (a couple times a week). Now we use all of those methods every day, and email too. I have no idea how we haven’t run out of things to say! Hahah
Instead of asking “How was your day?” all the time, which can get boring, ask questions like “Where is some place you’ve wanted to travel?”. Open ended questions are your friend 🙂
I’m not going to lie, LDRs are challeneging. Make sure you have plans to see each other, ideally have the next one planned before the end of the current visit. We have countdowns on our phones for our visits. 17 days, 23 hours, and 10 minutes until our next visit… but who’s counting 😉
Post # 6
This is a little harder to answer since you’re not really an “established” couple. But, I agree with PPs that Skype and FaceTime will be your best friends. I generally don’t recommend starting out with talking on the phone, unless you love talking on the phone. I myself hate talking on the phone and find it hard to make a connection with the other person, unless I know them extremely well. Just starting out, it’ll be important for you two to have (simulated) face-to-face contact and interactions until you get used to the distance. I feel like there is a definite lack of connection with messaging and phone conversations — I think it makes it easier to forget about someone, if that makes sense? I would use these in supplemental ways.
Prepare interesting questions and topics so that these conversations don’t get dull. You basically just have to treat online interactions like you would in-person ones.
Depending on how this goes and your financial situations (3,000 miles is a significant distance and plane tickets aren’t cheap), I would suggest the both of you sit down together during one of your Skype or FaceTime chats and come up with a date to visit. Again, even this bit of advice is difficult for me to give considering you seem a little unsure as to the future of the relationship. Maybe just take it slow, one day at a time, and move from there. But it really does help to be able to have a “Countdown Until We See Each Other.”
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
We started out long distance and open ended and are still in an LDR today two years later, although now we are more of an “established” couple, as you put it. The trick for us? Keep it light for the first couple months. Have fun. Whatever visits you are able to make, go on adventures outside. Have fun. Talk about your individual lives and jobs and schools and favorite books and tv shows and cities. Get to know each other. Visit friends. Watch Netflix together.
Then, when you’re ready, have the “Are we boyfriend girlfriend?” talk. Then have the “I love you” talk (whenever you are ready). Then talk about closing the LDR. Then meet each other’s friends and family. Then talk about possible engagement if it gets to that stage. You get the idea. LDR’s evolve just like any other relationship 🙂
Post # 8
My Fiance and I knew that we were looking for a spouse when we started dating, so we got together with the intention that we would consider marriage. Obviously, it worked out. 😉 He lives about 5 hours from me by car, so it’s not too bad. Phone calls and Skype are great tools for sure.
Post # 9
Plan Skype dates. Just like if you were a real couple. Ask them when they’re free and hang out with them like a friend. The intimate stuff will come later. I reccomend watching movies togehter on netflix, this gives you something to talk about to make things a little less awkward. At the beginning of our relationship we would also do things together but appart. He would do homework while I played games or something like that. We learned how to just… be together.
Post # 10
My husband and I were long distance for the first 9 months. We had some silly games we would play like “I never” and “would you rather” that helped us get to know each other. We’d also give each other open ended prompts like “tell me a story from your teenage years.” be more thing that we had a lot of fun with and helped a lot with getting to know each other was taking silly quizzes online (such as on Playbuzz) together. All of this helped to lead to more in-depth discussions and comfort with each other. I hope it all goes well for you!