(Closed) Long distance engagement?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t go, especially since your mother has just been diagnosed with cancer. House/pet sitting sounds like a great idea.

Post # 4
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Go! However, make sure your mom is doing okay and is okay with you leaving. My mom had breast cancer last year and I live across the country from her. I visited several times, went to a couple of appointments, but honestly most of the time she went to work as usual and me sitting home with her wouldn’t have done anything. My fiance and I have been long distance a long time. It isn’t easy, but you need to take opportunities when they come. You can skype every day and will have no problem keeping up on every detail of each others’ lives. Fiance can come visit for a week in the middle and you can come home once so you’ll be apart less than 2 months at a time.

Post # 5
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

erinkatie, I read this post a while ago but took some time to really think about your situation.  I really can’t give you a ‘go’ or ‘don’t go’ type of answer, because only you can really decide that.  What I can suggest, is for you to consider what state your life will be in when you get back.  Will you, as a person, be benefiting from going? Or will it cost you more than it’s worth?

On one hand, this is such a marvelous opportunity.  You’d be ‘guarenteed’ work over the next 4-6 months (your choice) and will be left with memories that last a lifetime.  On the other hand, is this going to take away from finding a more permanent job?  Are you okay with leaving everything here and coming back in several months, with your professional life unchanged?  That’s something only you can decide. Are you adventerous and a risk taker? Do you like finding yourself alone in new situations, where you aren’t as familiar with the surroundings?

One thing that I really can tell you is that while LDR is so difficult, it most certainly is doable.  Skype is a wonderful thing, and there are so many ways to feel connected with a person without them actually there.  The first week or two are difficult, but then you fall into a groove and it’s actually not that bad.  Really – I promise!

So talk to your Fiance, talk to your mom (I’m SO sorry about her diagnosis – she’ll be in my prayers tonight!), understand their feelings well since your trip will (likely) impact them heavily.  Perhaps talk to close friends who know you really well, as they may have some good points too.  In the end, this truly is your decision.  Think it through carefully, and then really stick with what you decide, such that there are never any “if only” feelings in the background.  Goodluck! And please do let us know what you decide 🙂

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