- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
I need a bit of support and advice from you sweet people…
I live and work in the same state as my fiance, all of his family and family friends, our church friends, and most of our friends from college. All of my family (divorced parents) and both of my maids of honor live in a nearby state, where I grew up. Months before we got engaged, we planned to have the wedding in the state where I currently live. My family seemed very pleased with having the wedding here. I assumed everyone was okay with this decision. We got engaged in October, and shortly thereafter, my mom and grandmother suddenly became quite upset that we weren’t having the wedding in my home state. They claim that that no one from their side of the family (or my grandmother’s church) will attend, and that they will definitely not throw me a shower. That was three months ago. Even after seeing the venue, suggesting and tasting the cupcakes, and even seeing me try on my mother’s wedding dress (which I’m wearing for the ceremony), they are still upset over this decision. I have weighed the pros and cons and decided to stick with our original plan, which is getting married here. For everyone in the other state, it will be a less than 3 hour drive to our wedding venue. My maids of honor are completely okay with traveling to our venue.
They are also equally upset with me for wanting my dad and stepdad to walk me down the aisle together. Both men are shelling out money for our wedding and both men are currently involved in my life, regardless of what has happened before.
How do I handle this with my mom and grandmother, especially after they claim that they can’t help with anything (besides writing me a check begrugingly), because I’m not having the wedding there? I want them to be included, but I also want this to be my wedding.
On a related note, how do I handle showers? Are long-distance family invited to showers put on by my roommates? Future sister-in-law? Church friends?