Post # 1
My mom, with whom I am very close, lives many states away. I’ve been trying to involve her in the wedding planning, but given the distance, my Fiance and I have had to make decisions (venue, officiant, dress) without her in-person input. She’s feeling hurt, and I’m not sure what to do. I know a lot of her emotion comes from feeling like I am now fully “growing up” by getting married (never mind that I’m 30). I want to make this transition easy for her and to have special bonding time, but how do I do that when she’s so far away?
Post # 3
I have struggled a bit with keeping my mother in the loop myself. I’m 34 and have lived independently since 22, so I might be in a different position…it sounds like you moved away online recently?
I started emailing my mother details/photos early on, but it was almost like blogging. I’m a blogger already, so I toyed with subscribing her email address to my blog. In the end, I decided that weekly calls would be just fine. This isn’t the 60s, when girls and their mothers planned weddings together. It’s totally normal for a modern couple to plan their wedding without mom and dad involved.
You wrote that she’s feeling hurt. Has she articulated that to you or are you drawing that conclusion?
Post # 4
I am in San Diego, and my mom is in Atlanta. She has been struggling with this as well. I just constantly send her photos of projects and ideas, and try and talk to her about it regularly. It’s not perfect, but she is still one of the people most involved (I am doing a lot on my own).
Post # 5
My mom is across the Pacific ocean. We email each other a lot (I can send longish email to her cell phone as well, if it’s time sensitive) and have been talking more on the phone. I take pictures of everything and I send her links to slide shows. I have the best mom because she’s happy with whatever I chose. Sorry to hear your mom feels hurt that she can’t be there with you. I hope your mom will feel more involved!!
Post # 6
My mom and I live about 3 hours away from each other and we deff don’t see each other as often as we’d like! I send her emails and photos constantly and I call her too. When I am trying to decide on something I will ask her for her opinion to keep her involved. Like, hey Mom I can’t decide between these two necklaces to match with my dress, which one do you like?
I find that asking for her advice/opinions helps her feel more involved (even if I end up going with the opposite of what she suggested sometimes :D).
Post # 7
I know how you feel! My mom lives in FL and I live in California. I’ve been able to include my mom in much of the planning process since we’re having two fairly small weddings. One in FL and one in CA. For the FL wedding she has been there to help plan much of it.
I suggest using Skype and talking to her over the phone often that way you still get to share ideas with each other.