(Closed) Long distance relationship adivce

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Write letters. Send each other packages. I’ve done long distance before, but never without the internet/phones. Personally I would just move there on the off chance it means you get a little extra time with him since you’re planning on moving there at the end of his training anyways.

Post # 5
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sassygirl83:  Oh ok. I thought you were just staying where you are just because. We only did long distance when it was for school, so its similar. I think the two biggest things for me were having an overall deadline for when the long distance would be over and always knowing when we would be able to see each other next. It sounds like you have both of those figured out. We always did longer gaps (a couple months) between visits, so every other week shoud hopefully be often enough for you. One thing you could do is make sure you each watch the same movie (think of it like date night) at some point in between visits (each rent your own copy) so that you have a shared experience to talk about each visit. And when you’re watching it you can pretend he is watching it with you. Ps we’re almost date twins.

Post # 6
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m in one and it’s been going on for two years with no foreseeable end. He’s about 7 hours from here, and he’s trying to find a job to bring him back here. It’s really hard because he’s in retail management and works so much that it’s very hard to look for a job long distance.

I advise you figure out a time that you’re going to start looking for a new job down there, so you can try to line it up in time for you to move. I suppose you could look during that summer since it’s teaching, but I do not know how that works when there’s a summer break.

I don’t think it will be bad for you two if you see each other every other weekend. It will be hard in the beginning, but hold onto knowing that it’s temporary, and you’ll see or hear from him on such and such day. The time will go by before you know it. Nine months isn’t very long.

Post # 7
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

When my fiance and I were dating, we were six hours apart for the first year, only seeing each other once a month at the most. This summer we were 1000 miles apart and I had no phone and no internet except for one day a week. I didn’t see him for three months and it was really hard. Letters from my family and him were what kept me going. Getting simple texts like “Stay beautiful honey” accruing on my phone over the week made that day off more special. I know your time apart is a lot longer than that overall, but seeing each other every other weekend will make those weekends seem magical, I kid you not. Make sure you plan time for the two of you. I’m sure he’ll want to show you off to his friends when you get there, but keep that time minimal. Take the time to cook or go to dinner together when you can talk and enjoy each other’s company. One of the biggest mistakes we made in that year was always planning lots of stuff to do on the weekends we visited each other – movies, going bowling with friends, and family dinners and stuff – and we didn’t have enough time for just the two of us.

Best of luck! I’m sure everything will work out!

Post # 11
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He won’t have his cell phone or computer, but he’ll be able to use a land line, right? So hopefully you can still make calls on occasion πŸ™‚ And writing letters and postcards and sending care packages is romantic πŸ™‚ At least you will be able to see each other every other weekend, and you will learn to make the most of the time you do have together.  Time goes by faster than you realize, when you are counting down to the end of the week. πŸ™‚

I’m a teacher and I’ve been in a long distance relationship for almost 6 years. My Fiance lives on another continent and we get to see each other once a year, and talk on MSN once a week if we are lucky. We text every other day, sometimes every 2 days depending on what is going on and how high his phone bill was the previous month.  It’s hard, but having a light at the end of the tunnel makes things so much easier. You can have a countdown on a calendar, you can have romantic time on the weekends you do get to be together, and being a teacher you get certain holidays off so you can plan your weekends around your long weekends to maximize the time you get together. (I don’t know about where you are, but I get Veteran’s day, MLK day, etc off, so try to plan your visits for the 3-day weekends to make the most of your time- even if he has to go to the academy on the holidays, which I doubt he would, you could use that day for travel)  Plus you will be able to get a lot of things done for the wedding – the things that the guy doesn’t usually participate in anyway, like shopping for the dress, etc.  Or narrowing down choices/options for other parts of it, so the legwork is done.

Yes, you will be lonely and miss him like hell. Yes you will have bad days, but you will have days that are not so bad and you will make it through and have a great wedding and future waiting for you πŸ™‚ And the good thing about being a teacher is that there’s always work to be done, so you will always be busy, between that and planning the wedding. πŸ™‚

Good luck with everything!

Post # 13
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I spent 3 years in a medium distance realationship (2 hour drive, but we were both in school so we were lucky to get together once a month), and then another year where we were a plane ride away. It is hard at first, but the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to really make a life for yourself without him. Don’t spend 2 weeks counting the minutes until you can see him or talk to him again or it will seem like forEVer. Do your best to fill the time with family and friends, because if you are moving in 9 months you won’t have the opportunity to spend as much time with them soon.

Also, when you DO get together with your Fiance, make sure you take some time to just relax with each other- don’t overbook your time with him so you are constantly doing things and going places. Make sure you get time to just talk and BE together just the two of you- I found that a quiet weekend with my SO sometimes really seemed to recharge my batteries in the time we spent apart. 

Good luck!

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