Post # 1
So I (26m) will be going to visit my long distance relationship girlfriend (26f) in a couple of months or so for the first time and I plan on proposing to her when I get to see her while I am there for one week.
We have known each other, at the time of this post, about four months. We live, at the moment, 14 hours away from each other (USA-China).
From the get-go we have both had the mindset of getting married. We have discussed our future together in a very detailed fashion. She wants to move here to the states to be with me and work here and have a family etc.
I honestly have never been in a relationship in my entire life (aka Relavirgin). Even at my age, it is hard to believe that for some people. I am a very loving man who wants nothing but the best for the woman he loves. I send her a good morning message when she gets to work for her to have a great day and such, then a message before I go to sleep so she can read it to take on her day and have some words of encouragement to face the evening and night ahead of her. I’ve done that since day one of our relationship.
We Skype message practically every day and video chat about once a week or so…She knows I’m not rich by any means and I’m not that handsome (I’m in the process of balding atm at my age…too much information)
I’ve never been confident at all in my life until I met her and she tore down the wall I had built up over so many years due to fear of rejection….I really appreciate her for that.
Anyways back to my question…I want to propose to her in a sweet way that would make a great memory for the both of us….Do y’all have any suggestions?
Post # 2
Honestly I’d save the proposal for another time. Even if you were seeing each other in person daily, you’re moving way too fast and that can be uncomfortable at best for the object of your affection.
Post # 3
Since you’re both still young, this is your first relationship, and you’ve only been talking for 4 months, I’d hold off for now on a proposal.
Post # 4
I totally agree it’s the other Bees. It’s too soon. Four months is just not enough time to know each other, especially LD.
Dig deep—are you really ready to be married to this woman, as wonderful as she no doubt is? Or, are your insecurities getting the better of you? If what you have is strong, it will still be there in a year or two.
Post # 5
It’s hard to really know someone until you spend a lot of time with them. People routinely live with their partners, thus seeing them every day, for years before proposing — it’s a really big step, and you want to make sure that you feel like you truly know each other (quirks, bad habits, annoying pet peeves they do included!) before committing. My Fiance and I got engaged after dating for ~20 months, having functionally lived together for 18 of those months (but officially for 11), and some people still thought that was a little bit fast. 4 months, at least for me, would have been really soon. Add that to the fact that you’ve never actually spent time with her in person, don’t know if you have any chemistry or passion face to face, don’t know each other’s daily lives and routines… I’d hold off so you can spend this time focusing on getting to really know everything about each other instead of rushing towards the future.
This woman very well may be the one! You might be with her forever! But it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. I would see how this visit goes, plan another visit, and eventually talk about her moving to the US — and then maybe think about committing further.
You could always give her a promise ring, though I tend to think of those as more of a high school type of thing. But if you want to show her you’re serious, it’s an idea.
Post # 6
– No, wait. Your chemistry in person may be different.
– your time dating has been really brief.
– there’s lots of first love feelings present.
Post # 7
The suggestion is don’t do it. Four months is probably not enough time to propose even when yoy aren’t long distance. Have you even met this woman yet?
Post # 8
My ex is from the UK and met his Venezuelan girlfriend (now wife) online. They were in a long distance relationship. He flew to Venezuela to see her after a few months together, then flew back to see her another few months later (a year into their relationship with 2 visits) and on that visit proposed.
They got married a few months later and now live together, and have been happily living together for a year and a few months.
Everyone told him it was too fast…but he did it anyway.
Trust your gut.
Post # 9
Have you even met her yet? I’d say you need at least a few weeks together in person, multiple times, before you can say you actually know her. It’s so easy to hide parts of yourself online.
Post # 10
I don’t want to offend anyone but I feel like I need to throw this out there.. is there a possibility she’s doing this just to get a green card? I know romance frauds (i think that’s what it’s called?) are super common in Asia and I don’t want you to be taken advantage of or hurt if that’s the case. Is she from a big city in china? Or a small rural one? Obviously, this may not be necessarily true but I think you should be 110% sure she’s not just using you for a green card. I hate to be that person but I feel like it’s a possibility that needs to be explored. And if she’s 100% genuine, then I’m super happy for you and hope things work out. Again, this is not to offend anyone, but more to caution from a good place. Truly hope that things work out for you guys!
Post # 11
I know it’s an exciting and heady time, but you’re only 4 months into a relationship with a person you’ve not ever met.
I would wholly advise giving it more time to learn what you both want and need from a relationship, get to know her better and see if you are both truly compatible because not only is this a long distance relationship, it sounds like it is also a cross-cultural relationship and there can be lots of associates challenges.
Post # 12
That’s really sweet and I am a hopeless romantic who is willing to take a risk when it comes to love. I met both my current and ex-husband online and they were both from different cultures to myself. I have been through the visa application process more than once and it is a LOT of work (I’m in Australia and I’m sure it’s just as involved and costly, if not more in the USA). This girl could be the one for you, but it takes a long time of going through many different experiences together to truly know someone. There are most likely going to be huge cultural differences as well that can cause difficulties. I don’t think you should rush into proposing. It would be better that you invite her for a holiday to the US first to see how that goes. That will give you a better sense of whether you are really compatible or not. Marriage is a huge commitment (as you know) and so is bringing someone to another country. It’s rarely a smooth or easy transition. You really don’t want to make that decision until you know 100% for sure she is THE ONE and that she is as devoted to you as you are to her. You definitely can’t know that without having met or spending a significant amount of time together in a real-life setting (eg. Staying in each other’s homes meeting families and hanging out with their friends, seeing each other Sick/tired/stressed, seeing where they work and how they spend their free-time etc.)
Take your time, and enjoy the process of getting to know each other and seeing if you have that special connection. I hope that it is a great experience for you, but I don’t think you should make any big decisions just yet. Best of luck 😊
Post # 14
I’ve been in LDR and whie I do understand a lot of people due to visa get engaged early. You have been chatting 4 months and never met. How about have your first meeting and then once you head back keep talking and then discuss the future?
First meeting is nervewrecking enough without this additional pressure. Just enjoy each other and work from there.
Post # 15
You’ve never met so I really think it’s best to wait to propose. 4 months is not a long time and you barely know each other. Take time to get to know each other more and make sure this is the right relationship.
Post # 17
I’m in a LDR, and my fiancé proposed to me on what was probably our 75th visit… You can’t possibly know a person without at least meeting them first, and you shouldn’t be proposing to someone you don’t know yet.