(Closed) Long distance relationships- the little things

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Some of these posts made me want to cry.

My husband and I are nearing the halfway point of a year-long deployment.  I go for long periods of time where I generally feel okay, but then I break down four a couple of days and I feel like I can’t take it anymore.  What do I miss?  EVERYTHING.  I’ve come to both love and hate the phone.  I love it because it gives me a little piece of him every day.  I hate it because that’s all we have.  I miss doing absolutely nothing…together.  I miss his companionship.  He’s not just my husband, he’s my best friend.  Everywhere I go, everything I do, it just feels like I’m going through the motions.  Kind of like an empty shell.  Especially when I’m driving alone.  The music’s on, I see the other cars as I pass them by, but I’m totally engulfed in my own loneliness.

Sorry…it’s been a rough couple of days.  🙁

Post # 18
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

ThePhotoBride –

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.

I can understand a bit, not entirely, but I’ve got a whole year before FH comes home for good. It is frustrating to say the least. But at the same time I am so happy to know I get to spend the rest of my life with him, that makes it all just a little more sweet.

 I used to send care packages. I mean, I still send them, but not as elaborate. But now that I feel bad about this I’ll have to think something up.

I once took 24 or so of those plastic easter eggs and stuffed them with messages, redeemable love coupons, a taillight from my volvo, etc. I only worked on a few each night. I would take like 2 or 3 weeks putting it together, it was 10 days to get to Iraq and then he was only allowed to open one egg at a time for the next 24 days. That pretty much passed 2 months. And then I’d do another with different things, even once mailing toilet paper because he complained about the TP in a blog post. I also sent special soap because he said they only got Safeguard and Zest. You can get pretty crafty. I even painted a box for him to place letters in that he’d been collecting over the last 4 years in the desert, letters a friend of 20 years had sent him. He even added a few of my letters 🙂 

Maybe you could build a scrapbook of your daily life. Clip things you read, fortune cookie tags, a broken shoelace from the running shoes.

Just ideas.

Sending lots of hugs.

He wants to see you as much as you want to see him.

Post # 19
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

The biggest thing was we LOVE going to movies and just loved staying in and cuddling on the couch! when he wassnt around I had no one to go to movies with or to cuddle! sigh!

Post # 20
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I completely understand how you feel!  Darling Husband and I were long distance for 5 years!!!  IT was SO hard – but here is the good news:

You will NEVER, I repeat, NEVER take it for granted.  Of course we all appreciate the grand gestures but YOU  will appreciate the smallest of things and they will make you so happy for many years to come.  My husband and I came out of our long distance time stronger, better and more dedicated to preserving the "little things"  – you will too!!

The sadness for me is that in order to get the job that I want, we have to separate again for a while – and we’ve only been married for 6 months!!  

Post # 21
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I totally agree with MrsK2Be. Is it me, or does this just add extra assurance to your relationship that you think you’d actually end up lacking in a "regular" relationship?

Any time apart for something like this sucks in general. There’s always perpsective, and the grass is always greener on the other side, haha.

 

Miss marine–we were on complete opposite ends for time, too! it was frustrating. I stayed up late and he got up early so we could talk. Sometimes we just couldn’t do it every day b/c it was soooo exhausting. We emailed a lot though. And yahoo messenger was a good trick for us. I liked talking to him before school, and at night when i was studying and he was just getting up even if it was just 5 minutes here and there.  

Post # 22
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

What I miss most are phone calls. For most of our relationship, my fiance has been in Asia and the middle east working. Currently, he’s 11 hours ahead of my time. Even with our crazy schedules, we find a way to chat every day, and video chat whenever we can (we both have slow internet connections at home, so doesn’t always work), but I still miss being able to call him on the phone to just say hi.

I also miss cooking for two, cozy nights on the couch and talking in the car. 

Post # 23
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Reading all of your comments, just made me sad.  My Fiance and I have been long distance since we met.  I am thankful for it because I’ve learned so much about myself and we have excellent communication skills.  Currently, he is deployed.  I love how he just wants to be at my side doing nothing when we get to see each other.  The one thing that I hate about being long distance is when we I have events to attend (i.e., weddings, family events, etc.) and I have to go alone.  He will soon return home and he will finally be deployed 3 hours south of, of course I plan to move to be with him. So much better then living 3000 miles apart.  I cant wait to see him pull in on his sub *sigh* soon, very soon  I know when that times comes, all of this waiting will be well worth it and no more long distance (I Hope)

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