Post # 1
Feel like this adds an extra level of pain to the waiting game. Anyone else out there? I would love to have a thread where we can support each other.
A bit of background on my situation- college sweethearts, this spring marks 5 years. We moved approximately 6 hours apart after graduation to take advantage of career opportunities. Due to his 100+ hour weeks we ususally see eachother once every 4-6 weeks. In my opinion the worst part is that his unpredictable work schedule means these visits are almost always last minute, so I usually don’t even have a concrete visit to look forward to.
He is looking for a new job right now in a slightly different field than he currently works. It’s a competitive industry so he’s looking all over the country- he says where he is for this next job will be “our city.” He has said that he wants to marry me, that he considers us to be just as committed as any engaged couple…but he wants it to be a complete surprise. Ugh. Meanwhile I’ve spent the last year thinking it’s just around the corner but so far still waiting…
So where are you in your waiting journey? What’s the hardest part of long distance for you if that’s a part of it?
Post # 3
Yes! I live 5 hours from my SO– I’m in graduate school and graduating in May, and we’re hoping to move in together next summer/fall when I go into a doctoral program. We want to be married before we live together so I’m on pins and needles wondering when he’s going to get the ball rolling! (He knows that we need time to plan, so I don’t think he’ll wait too long?) We’ve been friends for years and years but dated for almost a year.
I see him every other week, so it’s not as bad as most LDRs. Sometimes we cave and come every weekend, even though it’s rough on our cars/wallets/schoolwork.
I think waiting in an LDR is harder because every visit almost seems like a special occasion… which means every visit could be the proposal? I know mine won’t pop the question anytime super soon, but I catch myself getting crazy and imagining him showing up at my door with flowers and a ring!
Post # 4
This is me! The mister and I are in two different states, me in CA and him in MI, and have been together for almost 7 years. We’re only able to see each other a few times during the year.
Right now, we’re both looking for work (and depending on who finds a job first will essentially dictate where we’ll be living) so that’s the main thing keeping us apart. He will not propose until we’re both working and in the same city, something he has reintereated several times, so there’s no chance of him maybe surprising me earlier.
Anywho, the hardest thing about waiting in an LDR is that I have no clue what his plans are. We’re not together so I can’t stumble upon little clues that he’s been ring shopping or saving money or planning a proposal. There’s no indication of anything to help placate the nosey snoop that I am. lol.
Post # 5
dont know if you’d consider us long distance, compared to yall. we’re just 1 hour distance apart. but due to our busy sechedules during the week, we only see eachother on weekends.
he doesnt like my city and i dont like his city, i refuse to move there to be with him until theres an engagement, so we live apart. it is hard because i would love to be with him more often, but i dont want to sacrifice my life here if hes not going to commit to marriage yet.
i do cherish the time we spend together more, but seeing him have to drive back home is the worst. add on the frustration of not knowing if an engagement will happen anytime soon and youve got a big ball of stress, so i can kindof identify with u girls. hang in there.
Post # 6
We did the LDR thing for 9 months, living 6 hours away from each other. That was tough because I was in grad school, and things were very stressful. We did see each other ever 2-3 weeks. We were in the same city again when I was home for the summer, but I left for an internship in September. Have lived a 13 hour PLANE ride away for 2 1/2 months, will be together again in 2 weeks for good. I haven’t seen him in so long!
Waiting’s been much worse when we’ve been apart. I have the time to stew, overanalyze, psyche myself out. It’s only til starting the waiting pact that I’ve finally started to feel better. Before that, though, I had months of depression over being torn up about waiting!
I’m so happy the LDR thing will be done soon. Hugs to all of you ladies still going through it. It’s tough, but a LDR will make or break a relationship, and the fact that you all are still together means you’re strong! Best wishes.
Post # 7
The hardest part is that Fiance lives in San Diego and I live by San Francsico, so I only get to see him every few months. And it’s hard not having date nights but it’s worth the wait when I see him! Can’t wait to finish school so I can move down there 🙂 So excited!
Post # 8
Waiting is really hard, but waiting while in an LDR is way hard. My SO is over 2 hours away and we see each other about 2 weekends a month. He is graduating in the spring, and will be either moving farther away to get his PhD. More than likely he will be moving 4-15 hours away, and I’ve been clear that I’m very willing to quit my job and move almost anywhere for him, but I won’t do it unless we are engaged/married. So the LDR will end when the waiting ends, and I want both to end now!
I agree, the waiting is way worse on the days we are apart then when we are together. On those times when we don’t see each other for a couple weeks, by the end of it I get so into my head and drive myself stir crazy! Then for the 2-3 days we are together I completly forgot about my own craziness and just focus on being with him at that moment and it is blissful. Then the cycle starts all over again.
Post # 9
I’m another long distance waiter. We’ve been together since I was 16 and he was 17 and we’re still young (20 & 21), but we’re more than three and a half years in at the moment.
We’re currently 4 hours apart, but when he graduates in February, that will change, and probably not in a good way. Paramedics who work in northern Ontario get isolation pay and their housing paid for, so he might do that for a year or two. However, we’d need to start flying rather than taking the bus (me) or driving (him) to see each other, because from where I am to where he’s heard they’re looking for paramedics is a 47 hour bus ride (ouch). We actually did long distance before for about 15 months, where we were 6 hours apart, him at school and me in our hometown, and did the same earlier this year for 4 months, this time with me at school and him in our hometown. We currently see each other, on average, every 3 weeks or so. The last time was nearing on 5 weeks, which was awful.
Even though I don’t expect a proposal for a minimum of 6 months and probably closer to a year (he needs a job first!), I still think about it. He actually says he wants the proposal to be a surprise, so I had to tell him, “Honey, if we see each other once every couple of months I will be expecting it every time I see you, so good luck at surprising me.” I’m not sure how he felt about that haha.
Post # 10
Bah, I’m waiting and in an LDR too. He lives in America, and I live in the UK. We get to see each other every 10-12 months, if that. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and by the time I see him, we will have been together for two and a half years. We have always been long distance.
He’s bought the ring (eeek!) and I have a feeling it will be next summer when I go over there! I picked the ring out, he bought it, and he sends me photos of it from his camera when I’m having a bad day or whatever, to cheer me up 🙂 Hang in there Bees, it’s a matter of time!