(Closed) Long-Distance… with your husband?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We’ve been married for a little over a year and now we have to live apart for the next 7 months and it SUCKS. He’s in Maine and I’m out in LA so it’s not like we can even see each other on weekends. What happened was I was living in Maine when we met, though I’m from California.

In fact Mother-In-Law doesn’t like me because of that:the first thing she said after we met was that I would end up dragging her son off to California (you know the land of Soddom and Gomorrah:). turns out to be true. I was offered a job here to work in sales and marketing for an amazing jewelry company. We are small but about to blow up, so there was no way to pass up this opportunity. Plus, it’s home for me-all my friends and family are here. I had one best friend in Maine. She was from Cali:)

Anyway, my husband has a really good landscaping business established in Maine and he makes WAY better money than he ever could out here. But because his business is seasonal, he was with me from December to the end of March. He only left a few weeks ago.

My job is so consuming that I don’t have a lot of time to think about him during the day but at night, it’s getting worse by the day. I cried a little last night. We can’t Skype right due to technical difficulties, so we just talk on the phone.

Last night I called him on the way home and we were discussing how soon I could fly back for a visit and I told him I didn’t know. We are at such a critical juncture with the business right now, I absolutely cannot leave. Then he said something that kind of made my stomach drop. He said he was worried we would get TOO disconnected. It really freaked me out (hence the tears).

The thing is, if we can have an LDR until November, we will finally be in a financial situation where he can take a job here for less money ’cause I’ll be making a much bigger salary. So we just have to get through these next few months, but I didn’t really stop to consider the impact it might have on our relationship.

I’m not worried about cheating or anything like that, but not having him here really might cause a big disconnect. But the reward is so great, that’s what’s keeping me going right now, because I miss him so much already.

I guess I don’t have any advice, I just feel the pain of everyone who is going through something like this. I’ll just have to console myself (and him) with the thought that we will NEVER have to live apart ever again after this. That it will be worth the sacrifice.

[Sorry this is so long-I can never seem to edit myself:]

Post # 18
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@KristenGotMarried:  We are LDR now and will be so for at least a year after the wedding. It’s hard but not impossible. You tend to fight over less because you don’t have to deal with day to day stuff. It helps to know exactly when you will see each other again (hopefully, no less than 6 weeks later)

Post # 19
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Am I the only LDR bee on here that actually doesn’t mind it too much?

– Ok- maybe I am weird, but I kinda like being able to miss my new hubby.  We have been in a LDR for 5 years- we live and work in neighboring states and we see each other on the weekend.  – maybe it is because we are a non-traditional couple- or perhaps I am just too darn independent- but I Love, Love, LOVE when we are together and when we are apart- I feel ok because we chat 6-7 times a day, play online games, watch TV together and text frequently. 

Going to call my hubby right now to see what he tinks- but I suspect he feels that same way…

Post # 20
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

My SO is a professional baseball player so every year we spend 4-5 months apart depending on where he is. It really sucks. It has been especially hard because I have health problems and really rely on him for support. But the absolute best advice I can give is to keep on keepin on, and be you. Try to fill your time and reach out to friends and family. The busier I am, the happier I am (while he is gone). Do things you enjoy, that you may not otherwise have time for or do.

Post # 21
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@Keisha In Love:  No, I actually agree with you. I like it but it would be great to see each other every weekend. I just don’t like when it stretches into 6 weeks but he has a job that involves traveling most weekends and sometimes I can make it, sometimes I can’t. Its going to be hard to get out of the sweat pants look once we do live together.

Post # 22
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My husband and I were 7 hours apart last year. He is military and I was finishing off teachers college. Starting this July we will be 4 hours apart when I finish off my Social Work degree. Its really tough but you have to put more effort into what you say to each other. Because you aren’t physically close you really have to work on being emotionally close and that can be hard when there is distance between you.

I find the most difficult being away from our 3.5 year old. That tears me up way more. I sure am glad this is the last time I will be living long distance.

Post # 23
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

My fiance is in the miliary so we spend Mon-Fri seperated while he is in training, sometimes with no contact. We’re moving together in August and things should get better. You can do it!

 

Post # 24
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My fiance works in the movie business. He is regularly gone for 6-7 months at a time. I don’t have this luxury, but a lot of studio wives travel to the film location and stay with thier husbands and kids.

Unfortunately, I have to work, and take care of our dogs and the house we own together (One reason to wish we rented) We talk a lot over the phone (can be hard when he’s on EST) and lots of texting. Hell, he even proposed to me via text message!

I try to make it out to wherever he is every 2 months or so, and stay for a long weekend.

We have been together for 10 years and when he first started taking location work, I was devestated when he would leave. Now I am pretty used to it. It’s kinda nice to be so super excited to see each other. And I don’t take him for granted when he’s home. (But I usually have a hell of a huney-do list!!)

 

Post # 25
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have nothing else to offer that other bees havent already suggested..

except my body.

 

GIFSoup

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