(Closed) Long distant relationship – I need help

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

Awww, I know how you feel. I am struggling with work because I need to be flexible with travel times, and sometimes I feel that my SO doesn’t understand that. In my opinion he needs to give you something definite. I would not have been waiting four years to marry my Fiance, especially because of our LDR status. You need to start putting yourself first. Time doesn’t stand still just because you are in limbo, it keeps going. Sit down and get a timeline, something you can work with that will either give you hope or closure. PM me anytime, hope I kinda helped. *hugs 🙂

 

Also, whether he pays for a fiancée visa, or a K3 (spouse) visa (I am assuming he lives in the states?), money will have to be paid to bring you wherever he is… 

Post # 4
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

*HUGS*  I know that must be a very difficult situation to be in and I can imagine your sadness and frustration.  I agree with PP about setting up a timeline.  Even if it is only in your own mind you should set a date. This date would be if he hasn’t decided you are “the one” or if he hasn’t proposed then you would be willing to walk away from the relationship.  I was in a similar situation with my Fiance although it wasn’t long distance, we are pretty young and went through a rough patch and I just put this date in my head and decided I would stick to it.  He never knew the date and ended up beating it by 6 months! I would have a serious talk with him about your feeling and expectations before deciding to go there for another extended stay.  Good luck and warm wishes!

Post # 5
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

@MissCris:When I talk about getting a fiance visa he says he rather buy me an engagement ring then spend money on a piece of paper we wont need, since we are going to marry anyway.”

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but even if you get married, don’t you have to apply for another visa?

Post # 6
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

:[ i’m sorry you’re going through this! FH and I have been long distance for a year and a half now, known each other for 3.5 years. I can’t imagine waiting for 4 years in limbo with him not committing and living far away. without that confirmation that he wanted to be with me, I just couldn’t do it. he proposed maybe 8 months after moving away, but in that period of long distance dating, he was 100% that he wanted to marry me – he told me that it was a given – and we simply had to be apart because of our jobs. 

You’re out of work and have been putting him first, but where is his sacrifice (not that marriage is a sacrifice!)? at this point he should know good and well whether he wants to marry you. if he’s not prepared at this point, maybe he’s just wanting to have fun? I’m not sure I’m clear on what’s keeping you apart – citizenship? I wouldn’t go back to stay with him for 6 months without an agreed upon plan. He can’t string you along forever and should be working toward the goal of you moving there (if that’s the plan) and getting married. If he wants you to come over, he’d better have a ring waiting for you!

Post # 9
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

Keep us updated! 🙂 I wish you all the best >.<

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