(Closed) Long engagement – because you WANTED to.

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

YES! I had a long engagement because we did not want to feel rushed. We wanted to sit back for a few months and just enjoy the phase of being engaged. It has been perfect for us. I still am so excited to marry him next month but I wouldn’t change my (almost) 2 year engagement!! We haven’t found any con to the long engagement for us. It’s given us time to think about all the decisions so we do not rush to something just to get it done. It also gave us more time to save money for all the little things. I am 1000000% for the longer engagement. 

Post # 3
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: City, State

I am having a little over 2 year engagement (got engaged Aug. 2016 and I’m getting married October 2018)! It was definitely by choice. I always wanted a long engagement and I knew I didn’t want to feel stressed out planning something that is supposed to be such a happy time. There aren’t a lot of cons for me personally. I feel our family and friends are getting even more excited as time passes by. 

Post # 4
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Me! The money is at least a partial factor since it’s nice to have extra time to save and we were buying a house at the same time that we got engaged, but honestly, I think we would have gone with a long engagement regardless. We didn’t plan a thing until 6 months into our engagement, and I’ve really enjoyed being able to focus on one thing at a time – I think it’s kept me from burning out. Now that we’re inside the one year mark, I’m getting super excited! 

 

Post # 6
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Not to mention the fact that I’ve felt “married” to him for the past like 4 or so of our nearly 7 years together. We live together in our house that we own and have a dog, and that’s pretty official IMO lol. So there’s really no rush.

Post # 7
Member
5348 posts
Bee Keeper

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elizabethlx :  I still don’t have a wedding date up to now because like you, I wanna savor the moment and plan carefully. 

Post # 8
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

We had (are having?) an almost two year engagement, for multiple reasons. I didn’t want to have to stress about planning the wedding. We wanted to take our time and not feel rushed. We had been together for one year when we got engaged and we knew that we would be able to work out some issues with a longer engagement so that we didn’t have to enter marriage with them. 

It’s been a fun, exciting time and I definitely feel we are better for having it. There have been a couple of people who expressed surprise over how long it’s been but my family is crazy excited for us. I don’t at all feel that people have lost interest in our wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee

We had a 2 year engagement. We just didnt feel any rush. The first 6 months we were chilled and spent some time researching and getting an idea of what we wanted before we started planning (originally we wanted a destination wedding but changed our minds). Then we started booking venues and photos 1 1/2 years out. We planned and booked things really slowly but it was great because we were never stressed during planning. Everything was booked by 6 months out to the wedding so the final months and weeks were just spent making sure final touches were ready. We also planned an extensive month long touring honeymoon by ourselves which we wouldnt have had time to plan if we were busy with wedding things. 

Post # 10
Member
398 posts
Helper bee

We’re having just under a two year engagement, I agree with PPs, we wanted to really enjoy the phase of being engaged. I don’t think anyone has lost interest in our wedding per say, I only really discuss it with my best friend, family and fiance. We are about a year out from our wedding and have started planning now. I will add though that no one has really rushed us or questioned our long engagement, probably because my fiance and I are considered a “younger couple” haha and we are both finishing our Masters at the moment. Still we definitely could’ve been married by now if we had wanted to, but I think waiting and enjoying this time together makes it more special and our relationship has gotten stronger since we began thinking of eachother as our permanent life partners. 

Post # 11
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Our engagement will have been 2 1/2 years.  We are having a destination wedding and always said we would give guests 2 years notice.  The date of our engagment and the date of our wedding pushed it out an extra 6 months.  

The engagement sort of lost its spark but at the same time it didn’t.  There was a little bit of a slow period from 1 1/2 years-2 years but now that we are 6 months out it is super exciting again and everyone we talk to bring up that we are finally close!

A long engagment has made wedding planning a BREEZE!  I watch other brides on Facebook freaking out and I’m over here sipping margaritas like “I don’t understand what the problem is.” haha

Post # 12
Member
452 posts
Helper bee

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elizabethlx :  we had a long engagement (2 years) by choice. Well partially due to our ages and wanting to wait, but not due to school or money constraints. I loved it. We were engaged in august, and I spent a couple of months researching the “big” vendors. I chose my photographer, videographer, wedding planner, and venue in October. Since I secured them in that year, I still got that years pricing! Then I spent some more time researching decor ideas and bouncing ideas off my wedding planner. The following summer is when I felt I really needed to nail down ideas, and booked my decor rental, florist, etc. I was able to shop around for good deals, get ideas on what I really wanted – for me it was a win, win! 

 

We we also had a lot of people coming from long distance, so it was nice to be able to give them a big heads up 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2485 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We got engaged Jan 1 of 2017 and set our date for Sept 29 2018 (roughly 1 yr 9 mo). There were multiple reasons for a long engagement for us. First, I wanted to be able to have enough time for us to finance the wedding ourselves, which means a lot of saving was necessary. Second, I wanted to have first pick of vendors, and for our area I ended up booking in Jan/Feb and still just barely got our vendors we wanted. Third, I wanted to enjoy being engaged, be able to enjoy the process and not feel rushed. I also wanted September specfically, and a 9 month engagement felt way too short for me. 

Post # 14
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

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elizabethlx :  we are having a two year long engagement! We just hit the one year mark on Saturday and I am thoroughly happy that we spent the first year of this engagement doing no wedding planning. We’ve been enjoying each other and enjoying this engagement while it lasts, because once we are married, it’s a sealed deal! I did have some family ask me why we are waiting so long and I nicely replied back because we simply wanted to enjoy this time as fiances and there’s no need to rush. We are going to be spending the rest of our lives together so we don’t feel the need to rush to marriage so quickly just for the sake of shutting people up! On the flip side, we know we want to TTC right after we get married so now I am kind of wishing this next year flies by sooner! Haha. But then again, this past year flewwww by so I know our wedding day will be here sooner than we know it. Another pro, we get first hand pick on almost every single vendor!

Post # 15
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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elizabethlx :  No, not really. When people asked early on, we said that we were just enjoying being engaged for a little bit before the planning. Most people didn’t need any more explanation. Plus, it’s your life and your wedding so take the time that you feel like you both need! There is no right or wrong way it’s just the right way for you. I felt a little judged by my cousin who got engaged and married in about 8 months. She questioned my reasoning. BUT now she looks back and said she understands why people have long engagements. She said she felt like she went from dating to married and never hit the engaged feeling.

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